Session Report 1/24/99

     I have spent the last 3 or 4 days sick as a dog from the flu or
whatever the latest plague is that Cornell leaks from its under ground
bio warfare facilities periodically, fighting for my life not only
against the somatics of the virus but also the somatics of my case.
     I wrote last night asking what it meant when the TA was rising and
nothing would bring it down or even read, and the answer was: utterly
wrong ball park.

     TA = Tone Arm on the e-meter, it centers the needle and measures
total resistance between the hand held cans.

     I asked what it meant when an item would finally make the needle
fall a bit, but then it started to rise faster until the TA packed up
against all efforts to make the item come down.  The answer is missing
or bypassing the exact correct item.

     Missing means to get it close which restimulates the correct item
causing the momentary falls and then fast rising.

     When an item is missed, the rising it causes can be so fast that it
becomes an anathema to the auditor, so one has to adjust the sensitivity
down in order to make the rising seem normal again.  That's in general a
good way to set the sensitivity, rising and falling in balance and not
out of control.
     Bypassing means getting the item right on the head, not seeing a
read because its a dead center stop, and going right on by it with a
"Nope, that's not it." A little playing around with dead center stops
usually results in producing the falls and the TA blow downs if its
really a right item, but it takes some doing and a critical eye of the

     You sit there rapping your fingers on the table thinking "Yeah
right, tell me this isn't going to read!" Then it makes this sneaky
little smile at you and you get this long *SLOW* beautiful blowdown read
and you can feel the weight of eons lifting ever so slightly.

     The correct ball park item which stopped the "dead high in the sky
TA with no reads" was Christ Consciousness.  The myriad items which
caused the TA to start coming down or at least get very active while
continuously climbing soon after, are contained in the following posting
which I have written over the past few days.
     Just now I have come out of session with my first real F/N in 21

     F/N = Floating Needle on the e-meter.

     F/N's are the most amazing thing to behold, they are essentially
the TA rising smoothly and blowing down *ON ITS OWN* randomly and as
often as it is rising, each blow down leaving the TA naturally lower at
the end of each cycle.  You can sit back and watch them, you can adjust
the sensitivity up and down, they are just about unkillable.  If you
kill them, but you settle back down, they come right back as the charge
continues to come off.

     At first I didn't believe this F/N even though I was already wide
eyed at the results of the process up to that point, so I tried to kill
it and terrorize it out of existence a few times.
     But it kept coming back, nothing like an unkillable F/N to make you

     Although the F/N occurred at TA 4.2 I let the process go at that
point just marveling at the possibility that I actually may have made
some case gain in 21 years of near death experiences called my life.

     The F/N lasted for about 15 minutes, and I ended off at TA 3.5 to
come write this session report.
     The TA fell on its own from TA 4.2 to 3.5 just watching the F/N, I
mean that's just unbelievable for me.

     Normally I watch the needle and it goes to 7.0 and stays there.
     This process cut directly to the center of the somatic force fields
in my body, through the eyes, the sinuses, the nape of my neck, my
throat, the back of my heart and spine and my rump.  The process I was
running was an effort level process, meaning it was two alternating
questions with no intent of getting to actual answers.
     It's an important ability to be able to ask a question without
trying to get the answer as they are really two different actions, and
separating the two is necessary to go OT.

     The main intent was to spot, redramatize and release the efforts
involved in dramatizing the two questions, and suppressing the answers.
     The dramatization is in the asking of the question, not in the
specific answers that might apply to the questions as there are many of
them and will be many more.

     In this sense the question is its own answer, the answer to the
pc's case is the question he is dramatizing, what ever answers there
might be to those questions are strictly secondary.
     From experience with this pair, your pc may very well get free of
much of the garbage he collected around his dramatizations before he
actually gets to a point where he starts coming up with answers.
     And in any case he will be able to see when and how he is
dramatizing in present time and in the future and won't accumulate more.
     You will understand the process and the questions better after you
read the following post, so please do.

     The process that produced my first true F/N in forever was,

     "What do you not respect?"
     "What do you respect?"

     So with the caveat that we ARE God incarnation, here it is.

           ((Editors Comments in double parentheses - Homer))
                         CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS
                                ADO - 13
                            24 January 1999
                 Copyright (C) 1999 Homer Wilson Smith
       Redistribution rights granted for non commercial purposes.
     They say that God is Love, they don't say that God is respect.

     They tell you that God loves you although you are a sinner, but
he does not respect your sin, and that is why you can not get to
heaven, and why you must suffer as you do.

     Truth is God in heaven can't see sin, he is blind as a bat to all
the bad things you have done.  When God looks at you from heaven all he
sees is the light of Christ Consciousness shining through your soul, you
are as worthy and as beautiful as everyone else, including Himself.

     That light of which you are made is called the Christ Light, it is
what they saw and comprehended it not.
     "You are to love one another as I have loved you, and I have loved
you as the Father has loved me." - Jesus
     That is how Christ Consciousness works, it flows from Source
through souls to each other until it meets a block.
     If you can open your mind, infinite Cosmic Love just flows through
you all on its own.
     The soul is like a portal to Heaven, if he opens his window the
light just shines through.
     Sin is the closed window.

     Actually God can see the sin, but its an adornment to your soul
that adds to your beauty in His eyes.
     He understands and appreciates that the show you are putting on is
for Him.
     The reason people have to clean up their act in order to get back
to heaven is not because God can't accept them as they are but because
in their fallen state they can't accept themselves as they are.
     You can hear God laughing at that one, through out the halls of
Eternity, forever for free.

     Christ Consciousness is the Magnificent Respect of Adore.  Love
without respect is a weird kind of love, that's not really love at all.
     Respect means to re-spect, to see again, specifically to be willing
to see again.

     Respect is not some dry academic attitude that one offers to those
lower than one out of condescension or fatherly duty.
     Respect is admiration, delight, approval, appreciation and
willingness to view more.

     Respect is an unstoppably growing smile.

     No small matter then being a Master of Respect.

     That is Christ Consciousness.
     Love and respect produce emotion that makes the heart sing, for
there is nothing left to hate or to hide.

     Love, sorrow and laughter form an Eternal Triangle that power the
forward motion of the universe.
     They are the reason to be.

     When a soul falls from Christ Consciousness he will enter a track
of doing everything that 'can not be respected'.

     This is not a flaw, it is the stream of the soul, it is perfection
in operation.  The course the soul takes is the course the soul takes,
it can not be any other way.

     All are perfect.

     At the bottom of this fall you will find people dramatizing "I am
better than you are because I didn't do such and such a thing and you

     Thus when a pc has an auditor that has not attained Christ
Consciousness himself, the pc is always able to divulge a withhold that
will exceed the auditor's ability to respect it, and then rather than
acknowledging the withhold and giving the next auditing command the
auditor will go "You did what?!  That's disgusting!" and end session.
     Notice I said RESPECT IT (the overt), not RESPECT THE PRECLEAR

     When the overt becomes beautiful, you will have the truth and the
overt will vanish.

     Breaking the auditor's respect however then pushes the preclear
further out of session and the auditor further away from Christ
     For the pc however all it takes is a simple indication of these
facts to get him aligned again, because he will see the truth of it, and
he will understand the inevitable nature of what happened.
     And his love for his auditor will increase 10 fold, although he may
crank up the imp smile a bit while considering devulging his next
withhold.  It's for his auditor's own good after all.

     During the fall, pc's withhold in order to regain the apparency of
'respectability' after having committed a non respectable act in their
own eyes or the eyes of others.

     And the preclear is himself very busy controlling other's behavior
by controlling his own respect towards them.

     Preclears are already lost in a sea of conditional respect, and
every time they violate that conditionality, they have to pretend it
didn't happen in order to regain their position.
     It's an effort to get back to Christ Consciousness, "You see I am
still respectable!", but it actually drives the person further and
further from Christ Consciousness as true unconditional respect brooks
no exceptions, deceptions or secrets.
     Unconditional respect is not human, its divine.

     It's half friendly and half unfriendly.
     Thus the pc with withholds from himself, will not clear, because
all there is to clear are the moments the pc didn't respect himself.
     The auditing of the fall from Christ Consciousness then is the
auditing of the flip from unconditional respect to conditional respect,
and then of the many myriad times one saw the Christ Light and
comprehended it not.

     Even the Christ Light is not human, it spans both good and evil,
beauty and ugly, light and dark, love and hate, and every possible dicom
there is.

     Even what humans call darkness is made of the Christ light
scintilating back and forth amongst all the dicoms of the world at once.

     The flip from Christ Consciousness into the fall, is the run in
with the Anti Christ Consciousness, it becomes his Nemesis One, what he
hates, fears and wants to destroy the most, what he has NO RESPECT FOR.

     It must not BE.

     It must never have been, he's already lost that war.

     So from the start he is on a substitute goal.

     The best he can do is be sure it must not be again.

     He has already lost must never have been in the first place.
     He doesn't want to see it again, and he wishes he had never seen it
in the first place.

     It left a burning scar on his soul and he is just sure that if he
does see it again he will die for good this time.

     It's the Ultimate Monster that guards the gates of Eternal Freedom.

     Freedom to what?
     Freedom to be a source of Eternal Beneficence or Malevolence to one
and all of course.

     He doesn't respect the monster, he forgets his state just prior to
the fall, so now he has a basic on the chain of everything else that

     Living in the fall of conditional respect, he separates himself off
from everything that is 'bad', and aligns himself with everything that
is 'good', and sets out to destroy forever the bad at whatever cost.
     However he begins to use the bad to fight the bad, and soon he is
no better than the bad he fights, and he knows it, and he regrets it,
and thus are born the withholds.

     But each regret is a moment of re-ascension to the Christ
Consciousness state, he regrets hurting the bad guy because he knows
down deep in his primary soul that the bad guy is not a bad guy at all,
but a brother of the light like himself.
     He flashes on the bond of Love, Sorrow and Laughter at the moment
he strikes, and he knows he has done wrong yet again.

     But its too late, the Chalice is broken.
     He was dramatizing To Harm and Destroy, when he should have been
operating to Help and Create.

     He just can't figure it out.

     The bastard from hell deserved what he got, but the moment the pc
delivered the strike he was struck in return with God's love in his
     He never resolves this, he just covers it all up, hopes no one
notices, and hopes to hell it never has to happen again.

     But it always does.

     Thus these are all the times one saw the love of God (himself) for
a moment, but it didn't make any sense, because he was trying so hard
"to be good", but when the truth was told 'being good' didn't matter to
God at all because both good and bad are gorgeous to an Omni Sovereign
being (him).

     The person's time track is filled with endless numbers of these
major and micro ascension experiences, he will have gotten them from his
own overt acts, but also from movies, from music, from pretty girls,
from great accomplishments, from poetry, acts of selfless bravery,
heroism against overwhelming odds, etc.

     Adore itself was born from a run in with a single pretty Jewish
girl who wouldn't give me the time of day.  Of course I was a boogie
dripping drool at the time, so I can see her point, however I was
drooling over her if it makes any difference.

     Anyhow she was an ascension experience a minute for me, and it was
out of my attempt to deal with the cataclysmic clash of emotions for her
and everyone like her before her, that Adore was born.
     She: "What are you looking at pervert?!"
     Me:  "Uh... God?

     Ah well, they say behind every great work of art was a woman who
didn't love you.
     Consider Chopin's first piano concerto.
     The lesson learned was that unconditional respect comes from
adoration forever for *FREE*.

     You don't do it because you are going to get something back, you do
it because its true.

     Christ Light is like the light from a flashlight.
     A flash light is unconditional, it illuminates and benefits anyone
and anything that just happens to be in its way.

     Adoration forever for free was the only way I could maintain my

     The love was there, I had to give it even though it would never be
returned but be reviled instead.
     God's love is the same way, it flows from Source, through you, to
*ALL THINGS*, absolutely and unconditionally, forever for free.
     But it takes a shift in understanding.
     There is a reason why you are beautiful even though adorned in sin.

     It's the loss of that understanding that causes the transit from
Christ Consciousness to Anti Christ Consciousness hounded by Nemesis

     And its that same shift in understanding that will help you back to
where you came from.

     You know Richard Burton once said that the first time he laid eyes
on Elizabeth Taylor he found her so beautiful he laughed out loud.

     Her beauty was ABSURD.

     Spot the moments your pc perceived a beauty so great it made him
laugh out loud.
     That's the preclear illuminating the world around him AS God.

     Each moment produces a release, a great and abiding peace, an all
encompassing friendliness born of power and abject fearlessness, bonded
to an Eternal Good Humor, but then followed by confusion, shock,
problem, withhold, ARC break, and KRC break.

     ARC means Affinity, Reality, Communication = Understanding.

     KRC means Knowledge, Responsibility and Control.

     He feels at home with the experience, but he "comprehended it not."

     For 'how could it be?'

     That's a break in understanding, and leads to a break in control,
he can no longer make it come and go at will because he doesn't know
what it is saying to him any more.

     The MESSAGE behind the beauty is an overwhelming mystery to him.

     You are a sinner, but you are beautiful BECAUSE OF YOUR SIN?

     He can't get the message that the beauty is telling him, that God
is FRIENDSHIP, that God loves him dearly, really and truly adores him,
but he doesn't love himself and he is no longer friends to himself.

     That's because he is lost in conditional respect.

     The God state isn't.

     But the God state is not a human state, its a divine state.

     The human can't muster it, because the human is *TERRIFIED* out of
his wits of it.
     Good and Evil eternally intermixed?

     Every thing is OK as it is?

     But the human can be hurt, the God state can not be, because the
human can't put anything there.

     The God state can put anything there that it conceives of just by
conceiving of it, so it can unput anything there a will.

     That is why he human state persists, and he God state doesn'.

     Things persist to the degree they are detested.

     The creature is a state of conditional adoration.

     The creator is a state of unconditional adoration.

     The adoration is operation.

     ALL OF IT.

     Remember true unconditional respect is not condescension to the
unfortunate who can not be any better than they are.

     It's not something you put on for public show to smooth the
boundaries of social concourse.

     Unconditional respect is *GENUINE* respect.


     God wants to see sin again?
     Unconditional respect is true admiration and adoration of things as
they are because one sees the beauty in the loss and one appreciates the
gift one is being given, by the play or drama and sin being acted out.
     This is a shift in understanding from the Human to the Divine.

      Oh Gorgeous and Most ExCaliper Lord,
      Master of Magnificence and Respect,
      Master of Tragedy and Travesty,
      Miracle and Majesty,
      And Keeper of the Golden Temper,
      Idol and worshipper of all things,
      I behail thee with Fair Chosen Glory
      and High Alleluias,
      For Ever, For Free. " -
     (ExCaliper means without caliper, without measure)

     An Ascended Master is a Master of Respect.

     "Spot a moment of ugly."
     "Spot a moment of beauty."
     "Spot a descension experience."
     "Spot an ascension experience."

     "Was it at the end, middle or beginning of an engram, secondary or
     You can actually spot this stuff without getting an actual time
place form and event, just the efforts to unexpress or express the event
will do, as they are right in front of the pc's face, in fact the pc
usually considers the pressure ridges from this stuff to BE his face.
     "Spot a moment of non comprehension."
     "Spot a moment of     comprehension."

     "Spot a moment of non understanding."
     "Spot a moment of     understanding."

     "Something not wanted about it?"
     "Something     wanted about it?"

     You know no one is asking you to attain this state 24 hours a day,
you would probably change the structure of the universe if you did.

     But you should be able to go up there and touch Christ
Consciousness whenever you need to.
     It will help you embrace the what is.

     Just like you have orange juice in the morning, you go up there,
touch upon the radiance of magnificent respect for a moment, laugh til
you cry, come back down, go to work 9 to 5, come home and treat your
kids good and have happy dreams at night.

     You can do that.

     The Creator APPRECIATES the CREATURE.

     The CREATURE does not understand why and does not appreciate
the CREATOR nor itself.

     Regaining full understanding of that appreciation for ludicrous
demise allows the Creature to be willing and able to become the Creator

     End Phenomenon is

     1.) Able and willing to be here,
     2.) Able to Love, Laugh and Cry at will,
     3.) Able to burp at will.  :)

     State attained is

     Master of Respect (and contempt).

Homer Wilson Smith     The paths of lovers    Art Matrix - Lightlink
(607) 277-0959               cross in         Internet Access, Ithaca NY     the line of duty.