COMMENTS ON THE PROOF > Having been in Scn for 30 years (and now out for 2 years), (yeah, I'm an > idiot) No. Consider it paying your dues and a trial by fire. > I now wonder what can be achieved through processing. It appears that > dispite all you have done you don't find yourself in very good shape or > maybe I'm just reading reposts that are out of date. It sounds like you have > had a ton of auditing/solo or am I mistaken? Are you still processing your > case in PT? All the auditing I have gotten from others has been 90 percent a waste of time, EXCEPT that when I start making real case gain, all those prior communication cycles start to work. Its an interesting phenomenon but well noted by Hubbard. NO auditing is not a waste of time, as long as SOME auditing eventually comes around and does something real. Then all the wasted cycles complete and the prior case gain suddenly appears out of nowhere. Yes I am auditing full time, I am at monotony on the tone scale physically, lots of pain, sleep is terrible, sleep is probably the most deadly thing in the world next to fumes for me. 40 percent of my daily auditing is undoing the damage of sleep/dreams, and getting back to where I was the night before, before I went to sleep. Spiritually I am at hysteria, shock, catatonia and oblivion, with mild trips down to criminality, disassociation, disconnection and failed unexistance :) Especially when confronted by stupid auditors bringing me stupid auditing. > I too am an entrepreeur, a computer programmer. I was reading your recent > post about Lightlink being on the edge and your desire to do something else. Yeah I am in the middle a huge elsewhereness, tired of losing money, but also tired of not being able to breath the air outside, fumes, diesel, wood smoke, lawn mowing, barbequeing, you name it. I live in a pretty clean corner of reality here, but one block away and I might as well be working in the tar pits. The thought of working for a zombie zoner makes we want to kill myself, so I hang on to my starving entrepreneur valence with all I got. > I find myself in similar circumstances. What should I do now.... My life at > the moment is a mess, but I'm slowly coming out of the pit I've dug in > recent years. > >> From reading your essays I feel we are kindred spirits. > > I'd like to know more about what all this has done for you personally. Well I would like to have 'well and happy human being.' It isn't necessary to know the answers to all the burning questions of the world in order to feel good just breathing, even if all your friends are hanging on crosses for as far as you can see and screaming to die. It is however necessary to be able to deal with those burning questions, so you don't kill yourself over the fact you don't have answers, like what the hell I am doing here? And now that I am here, what the hell should I be doing. I been running a LOT of What NO false purpose is there? What SOME false purpose is there? What NO true purpose is there? What SOME true purpose is there? It has molted into simply, What NO purpose is there? What SOME purpose is there? The questions in the commands are rhetorical only, as a solo auditor I know not to actually try to answer the question, but to merely ask them. Its the running of the NO, the not-is on the purposes, that releases the tension and pain surrounding them. Prior to that group I was running Spot NO promotion. Spot SOME promotion. I am basically in non existence with the world, and thus the formula is to promote, promote, promote. But promote what? And not promote what? This is powerful stuff as it takes the being right up to promotion, prediction, activity, production, result, correction, ability, and purposes, clearing and realization, whatever the hell those last 3 are. But action in other words. But action for who? We are all still trying to keep the damn body alive, so we are enslaved to its up keep. Now that's not inherently a problem, I keep 6 cats alive just fine thank you, and they repay me by showing me what body life should be :) But the problem is I need to USE the body to create that survival, I don't have to USE my cats to create their survival. So there is a lot of resentment on the part of my body etc. It can barely breath, or walk straight, and dives for cover at the slightest whiff of fumes. And keeping bodies alive is about as low as it goes in the garden of life, although its OK for a prison job. That said, the condition I am in presently is WAY better than the condition I was in say 2 years ago when I was truly desperate, and things were so solid a chain saw couldn't cut them. I think it all started to turn around when I started running THE UNDUPLICATABLE INTENTION of about two summers ago. Now having discovered running all items with NO and SOME, its actually cleaning up, as if NO and SOME was the secret to the universe all along. It even runs without specific items at all! Get the idea, There is NO item. There is SOME item. This is all described in detail in the last 50 postings in my archives. > Maybe a lot of people bug you about this stuff. I don't know. But I would > like to talk to you if you are willing. And we are two Smiths after all :) Any time, better to get me in the afternoon, any time after 2pm. 607 227 5465 is my cell. Call me and I will call you back. > If not, I'll plug along the path I see before me, which at present is to do > TROM as a starter. TROM inspired a good deal of stuff from me, I ran it for a long time, in the end it didn't touch my Black V condition, where NO/SOME has started to turn on pictures, both horrific and beautific. http://www.clearing.org/cgi/archive.cgi?/homer/act69.memo http://www.clearing.org/cgi/archive.cgi?/homer/act70.memo http://www.clearing.org/cgi/archive.cgi?/homer/act71.memo http://www.clearing.org/cgi/archive.cgi?/homer/act72.memo http://www.clearing.org/cgi/archive.cgi?/homer/act73.memo http://www.clearing.org/cgi/archive.cgi?/homer/act74.memo http://www.clearing.org/cgi/archive.cgi?/homer/act75.memo 69 is worth reading, as it was where I was when I ran into trom, and the rest followed in short order. > Either way, I want to tell you that your writings are > very much appreciated by this I-AM. "The Proof" pulled everything come > together for me with clarity. I see what the gurus are pointing to, what > Hubby was looking for, and all the other seekers on this road. I guess being > an "engineering" type it just didn't crystalize until someone laid it out as > you have. The experience of seeing what you are saying there is a real > mind-opener indeed. You rock! Well someone or something rocks. Thanks for the comments. But I got it all from Hubbard and Guru Maharaji, and who knows who the hell else is pouring stuff into my ever more than slightly cracked mind. But yeah, Hubbard said the world was a dream, Maharaji said the world was a theory, the Buddhists said the world was maya, and so I thought you know if the world is a dream, there MUST be some way to prove it. For I knew I was certain of the dream, and symbol does not prove referent. Thus if the world was not a dream, there would never ever be a way to know for sure. Everything followed after that, too much APL and CMS vm\370. Homer (cp link 191 ...) Smith. > > Wishing you health and prosperity, > Sat Oct 23 20:20:22 EDT 2010