WHY IS SELF AUDITING DANGEROUS?
 
                                SCI - 22
 
                 Copyright (C) 1992 Homer Wilson Smith
       Redistribution rights granted for non commercial purposes.
 
     The Church frowns very heavily on something they call self
auditing, or the running of processes on yourself.
 
     There is also Soloing, which is a higher level form of self
auditing under the direction of a C/S that is used on many of the
Clear and OT levels.
 
     Most of auditing involves two people auditing each other, or in a
circle of three people.
 
     I audit you, you audit someone else, and they audit me.
 
     But people can and do co audit, I audit you, and then you audit
me.
 
     One of the problems with any auditing is that it often takes an
auditor of higher level to audit a pc of lower level.  This is
obvious, if you can't confront something, how are you going to help
someone else confront the same thing?
 
     Of course if you are higher than your pc, then when it comes time
for them to audit you, it isn't going to work, because a lower level
pc really has a hard time auditing a higher level pc.
 
     So there are problems with co audits, but it is still done.
 
     Often people say 'to hell with this', I am just going to go off
and do this by my self.  This is usually the result of repeated no
auditing from their auditors, or auditing is just too expensive, or
they live on a deserted island, literally or figuratively.
 
     'No auditing' is a term that Ron invented to describe what many
auditors do, they audit you, but the pc considers that no auditing is
being done because the auditor is auditing what the auditor wants to
audit, and not what the pc wants to audit and needs to audit to get
better.
 
     When people leave the church after many years it is usually a
case of tons and tons of auditing that was no auditing.
 
     They are out of money and their case is as big as it was before,
or they found their case 'going up the Bridge with them'.  That means
the pc was getting stronger but their case was getting stronger too.
 
     Ron frowned on no auditing mightily, but since he is not around
anymore to kick butt, it can get kind of rampant.
 
     Now the question comes up, why can't people help themselves, why
do they NEED an auditor?  Why can't they just take the processes, like
R3R in Dianetics and run it on themselves.  You know, find a moment of
loss, pain or unconsciousness, go to the beginning of it, scan through
to the end of it, tell yourself what happened, and do it until it
erases or gets heavier, in which case you go earlier similar E/S.
 
     Well running Dianetics on yourself is like putting your own nose
to the grindstone and often just restimulates more charge than it
releases, although during moments of great loss and sorrow, just
running the thing out on yourself may be your only option.
 
     Ron did it, and he showed others how to do it in the Handbook for
Preclears.
 
     But most people were just not up to doing it, and in general if
you stick your nose in your bank that way, you will merely get your
nose ground off.
 
     But this is mainly a matter of the nature of Dianetics which
validates the bank and engrams etc, rather than any inherent flaw in
self auditing.
 
     In fact at higher levels of the Bridge soloing is not only the
method of choice, it is absolutely mandatory as the material is so hot
you just can't deal with it with any one else around.
 
     But if you haven't done your lower levels properly you are more
likely to screw it up than do it right because your confront and self
confidence just won't be high enough to face the tiger's lair alone.
 
     Tigers eat you, and so does bank, as it is the immortal recording
of everything that has ever eaten you.
 
     Or that you have eaten.
 
     So there are processes that are more amenable to self auditing,
more properly called solo auditing.
 
     In general if it is a process you should be running alone or CAN
run alone then it is called solo auditing, if it is a process that you
shouldn't be running alone or CAN'T run alone, (but ARE running alone)
then it is called self auditing.
 
     So why is solo auditing dangerous?
 
     Well the bank consists of everything that you never confronted,
it is the accumulated record of your unconfronted unwillingnesses.
 
     It therefore has a lot of pain in it.
 
     The basic solution that thetans have had to the bank, and which
is why the bank is persisting in the first place, is ELSEWHERENESS, or
running away from it.  There is also a certain crushing things out of
existence called not-isness.
 
     Elsewhereness is sort of the opposite to AS-ISNESS.  As-isness
causes vanishment, elsewhereness causes persistence.
 
     I mean if you make something, and you then run away from it,
certainly it will come after you.
 
     So the thetan is running away from his bank and his experience,
and this is why the bank is persisting, and why he can't contact it
and so he becomes a 'What Bank?' case.
 
     You know, a skeptic.
 
     Ok, so this person gets some hint that maybe he is not as well
off as he might be and he wants you to give him a process to run to
make him more real on this bank, blow some charge and start him on his
way back to full OT.
 
     So you give him,
 
     'Why would you want to stay?'
     'Why would you want to leave?'

     ((or

     "Spot a reason to be here."
     "Spot a reason to not be here.")) -hws

 
     Now you could run this with him, and charge him for your time,
maybe $10.00 per hour, or you could tell him to go solo the thing
alone, maybe in his apartment or even out on a street walking around
looking at people.
 
     So he takes you up on this and out he goes into college town and
starts running to himself,
 
     'Why would I want to stay?'
 
     'Well all the pretty girls.'
 
     'Why would I want to leave?'
 
     'Well all the fumes.'
 
     'Why would I want to stay?'
 
     'Well there's lots of good food in the world.'
 
     'Why would I want to leave?'
 
     'Well there's AIDS and disease and hunger and horrible things.'
 
     'Why would you want to stay?'
 
     'Well I love good music.'
 
     'Why would you want to leave?'
 
     'Well I might get mugged or raped...  GULP!
 
     Now all of a sudden he has tripped something real to his own
case, his own overt motivator chains come into restimulation.  Rather
than continue on with the process, momentarily he is diving deep into
this material realzing more and more that he really doesn't want to
stay at all.
 
     So what does he do?
 
     He LEAVES.  The PROCESS.
 
     He starts to dramatize the process itself at the auditor, himself
in this case, and he ceases to run the process.
 
     This is a flagrant break of the auditor's code, as it is stopping
a process before it is flat or reached E/P.  In fact the very first
time the process 'bit' or produced change in the pc, he changed the
process, or Q & A'ed with it by getting the hell out of the auditing
session.
 
     Now if an auditor were there to pull him through, he could be
coaxed to talk about his worries and concerns about muggings and rape,
and this would blow some of the charge he has on it.  He might then be
willing to continue running the process with
 
     'Why would you want to stay?'
 
     As it is, alone, he is over restimulated and he doesn't know to
confront the charge and that it will blow by itself, if he just "be's"
there with it (he hasn't learned this lesson yet), so he goes,
 
     'Stay!  are you crazy, who would ever want to be here!'
 
     So he blows (leaves) the process, he blows his own solo session,
he blows auditing, he blows Scientology (the SUBJECT, not the Church),
and he eventually blows his life.
 
     This is no small thing as he is dramatizing the entire
fundamental modus operandi of his bank all at once, which is TO LEAVE.
 
     Picture it this way, that's about a super nova's worth of "I'm
outta here!"
 
     Lots of people when they 'leave' Scientology (not the Church) do
so because they blew a process during a session, and then they blew
the session, and then they blew their posts, and then they blew their
religion.
 
     These are the easy cases to fix, you just pick up the auditing
question where it left off and run it to E/P.
 
     Now as a solo auditor you gotta know these phenomenon cold,
especially if you are running higher level GPMS or entities because
these things have kilovolts of charge on them that can make your body
fold up and want to die.
 
     The bank is full of memories OF dying, when they turn on, bang
there he is dying again.  That's a reviv.
 
     He doesn't realize he is dying THEN, he thinks he is dying NOW.
 
     The body can't tell an engram of an execution from the real
thing.  It FEELS the same to the body, even though the engram is
harmless and the real thing is deadly.  Sometimes the heart can start
racing and the body just KNOWS it's about to kick off from heart
failure and it takes extraordinary confront to be cool with the
manifestation while it runs itself out.
 
     (By the way deep SLOW IN BREATHS will help stabilize the
pounding.  Very fast out breaths, and LONG SLOW in breaths.
 
     I been there and lived through it, so listen closely.  The heart
pounds on the out breath and cools out on the in breath.
 
     Afterwards, if you make it through, you will feel like new
again.)
 
     So look, you shouldn't be playing around with clear tech unless
you are professional about it.  You can set people back by leaving
stuff in restimulation because you and your pc scared the hell out of
yourselves and took for the hills in the middle of an auditing
command.
 
     It's not so bad if you only come back and finish what you
started.
 
     Those of you who have left the Church should ask yourself, perhaps
on a meter,
 
     'Did you leave the Church because of no auditing?'
     'Did you leave the Church because of blowing auditing?'
 
     If either indicates, please get it cleaned up.
 
     There is nothing wrong with being a member of the Church.
 
     There is only something wrong with bad auditing, no auditing, or
blown auditing.
 
     Homer
 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Wilson Smith           This file may be found at
homer@rahul.net              ftp.rahul.net/pub/homer/act/SCI22.MEMO
Posted to usenet newsgroup:  alt.clearing.technology