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.ce ((Editor's comments in double parenthesis - Homer))
 
.ce ADR - 139
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.ce Copyright (C) Homer Wilson Smith
.ce Redistribution rights granted for non commercial purposes
 
======================================================================== 119
Date:         Sun, 09 Apr 89 12:13:47 EDT
From:         "Homer W. smith" 
Subject:      Re: Homer Smith's recent postings
To:           Adore-l list 
In-Reply-To:  Message of Fri, 7 Apr 89 11:36:00 CST from 

>[This is more or less a personal letter to Homer, but I am sending it to the
>list at large because I think it likely that there are others out there who
>woul like to see it.]
>
>Homer:
>
>        I have been wondering a lot about your conduct on this list in the past
>several weeks.  You had been such an active member previously, and then
>suddenly . . . nothing.  I apologize if I'm misinterpreting it, but I can't
>help noticing that this occurred immediately after several people (including
>myself) asked you some very specific questions about Adore.  Is there a
>connection?
>
>        Now you're posting again, but only messages relayed from PSI-L.  They
>do have some relevance to this list (after all, this list is here to discuss
>EVERYTHING), but they do guide the topic away from the questions that were
>raised earlier.  Not conclusive on their own, but when taken in conjunction
>with your other inactivity -- I may not be the only one who's drawing this
>conclusion.
>
>        From what I'd seen previously, you don't strike me as the kind of
>person who's likely to resort to such cheap tactics.  Unfortunately, the longer
>you leave our questions unanswered, the more we will come to believe that you
>_can't_ answer them.  Go ahead; prove me wrong.  I hope you do.
>
>                                                        Sterling
>
>P.S.:  [Relatively private]  How did the Julia set images we were discussing on
>FRAC-L come out?  I was wondering if those techniques would work . . .

    Your concerns are valid, but unfounded.  I am WAY behind in my mail.
In fact I am still thinking about the materinity leave issue and dealing
with Nick's defense of women.  It is hard to continue with later material
when earlier material is still on my mind.

    However I did answer in some detail at least ONE of your postings.
I hope it got to ADORE-L.  Maybe because it was so long it got sent
after all the shorter stuff.

    The PSI-L postings were another effort to finally bring myself
and the rest of our readers up to present time on a nasty incident.

     Most of you will have read them all on PSI-L and will trash them
here.  Those who wanted to know whats up will have been filled in.

     I take all your mail very seriously.  Sometimes I ignore mail
that is too demeaning or challenges me for things I have not said.
Chris Heller was one such person, but he has left the list.

     So far I have answered in detail one posting from you, Sterling,
and will get to the others after I get by Nick's last letter about
me and women, which as you can see is 3 weeks old.

     One last comment.  The material I am trying to share with you
is very hard.  People have been trying to solve the problem of
life and bodies for how long now, and they have made little if no
progress.

     It would be absurd for me to come forward and say I had done it all
when all others had failed.    Fortunately I have not done anything alone,
and the material I am presenting rests in very good and very old
company even though it may be a trife underground.

     I am at the stage where I am beginning to be able to make the
data work for me.  When I get it right, it usually goes through
a transformation as to how to say it.  I almost never say to others what
was said to me because when it was said to me it did not work, and when
it worked, the 'how to say it' changed also.

     Likewise the wording I give this material, although it is working
for me, will not work for you, until it does, at which point you will have
your own wording for it.  I don't really see any way around this.

     One last little tiny point.  Just because you have an question,
does not mean I have an answer.  I am a human not a god.

     However my not having an answer to satisfy you does not mean the
material is not inherently correct and workable FOR ME.  It would be
absurd for you to complain I do not know what I am talking about just because
I cant get YOU to make it work, all the while I am getting better and more
able in all sorts of ways.  (No I will not delineate them all, if the 'enemy'
knows all your abilities, it can put you at a disadvantage.  No one is infinite
in power yet, and no one can fight a whole country of secret police.)

     The extreme of this would be for me to realize some final very high
state and just take off to another universe and never talk to anyone again.
Those who remained behind yelling 'prove it' would be out of luck.

     Fortuantely, MY BELIEF, is that the more you can make the data work,
the easier it is to convey it in a WORKABLE form to others who really
want to know.  My own experience with the people who taught me does NOT
bear this out, but I am going to continue to use it as my working
postulate.

     Thus do not make the mistake that because you were not able
to make heads or tails out of something I am saying, or because I
am unable to express clearly the data, that the data is unworkable
or untrue.  This would be a grave error on your part.

     I am doing my best to give the data in the way it helped me.
The world IS a dream.  You ARE gods.  My memory IS coming back and the
psychosomatic ills are vanishing.  But there is one whole hell of a lot
more there than anyone ever told me, and the more I uncover, the more
there is that was unseen.  There IS an end to it one day, but that day
is still away off.

    As for being behind in my mail, remember I have to work 7 days
a week to keep myself alive, and between the people here on this list
demanding my time, and the people at Cornell and the world at large
demanding that I justify my own existance, life is no longer the
halcyon days of school.

 Homer W. smith      Adore-l list         4/09/89*Homer Smith's recent postings