.ll 72
.fo off
.co on 
.ce ((Editor's comments in double parenthesis - Homer))
.ce ADR - 341
.ce Copyright (C) Homer Wilson Smith
.ce Redistribution rights granted for non commercial purposes
======================================================================== 102
Date:         Tue, 04 Jul 89 11:42:19 EDT
From:         Homer 
Subject:      Re: Headaches, cancer, and toggle switches
To:           Adore-l list ,
In-Reply-To:  Message of Mon, 1 May 89 08:09:14 EST from 

>   Sorry about the strong response, but I'm getting tired of
>intolerance.  I have a couple friends who I love to talk with
>about these matters, and it is VERY hard to do in public
>without getting laughed at by other people.  They seem to
>react in a VERY hostile way to ideas like this, and most would
>never even want to *try* any of these things out.  I can't
>even talk about these things in my own apartment without
>some of my roommates saying,
>       "You believe WHAT?  I think that's a load of bullshit!
>        You're fucking insane!"
>   It's interesting how immediately opposed people are to ideas
>like this, even those who seem intelligent in most other respects.

     So Jim, what I do not understand about you, is that you
repproach me for getting mad at people when they pull this

     Now me, I hate it just as much as you do, and I created a list
where people could be blasted for their unwillingness to look at
these ideas.  Yet you constantly get on my case for letting loose.

     What is really funny, is that you APOLOGIZE for YOUR STRONG
response, but really you have maintained your cool and polite
demeanor all through this posting.  I mean if this posting of
yours is STRONG, what do we call postings of MINE?  Thermonuclear?

     I can see how they might be too much for you to take, but
you gotta realize I am me, not you, and I gotta be allowed
to express myself just like all the ninnies that I have to allow to
spout their jerkiness on this list.

     I mean if I said, Now Now Jim, lets not be so hostile, other
people have a right to their views too even if it is that your
views are 'insane', and you should not be rude to them or put them
down just because they differ with you, you would be pretty mad
at ME for not letting you express your frustrations with those closed
and narrow minds.

     So how come, when I express MY frustrations with people,
YOU go signing off the list in a huff?

     Is it because each person can only tolerate expressions of
frustration up to but not beyond their own ability
to express frustration?

     It is too bad I took so long to read all these postings of yours,
because I would have been easier on you.  You really do seem to be
a true seeker, one who perhaps has been burned unforgivably in the past
by 'beliefs' and so have an overly charry approach to things that I say.

     Frankly, and you will probably find this hard to believe,
I have most often taken your postings to be of the same kind that the
very people you complain about above might make.  Skeptical to a point
of closed mindedness.  You have repeatedly asserted
that you really were looking for the truth, but I was never really
able to fully believe you, because your skepticism ran so deep,
and because I had not yet read these postings of yours.

     The thing is, I live my life in these subjects, and I am SURROUNDED
by people who put me down CONSTANTLY for these matters.  Its not just
something that happens to me once in a while, it is my life.  Thus
my frustration level may be much higher than yours, and is under constant
bombardment from my own family members, and all of my friends and just
about everyone I deal with EVERY SINGLE DAY.

     Remember I have spent the past 20 years being in and out and
on the edge of 10 different cults and groups and therapies, and between
the people on the inside blasting me because I was not IN enough for
them, and the people on the outside blasting me because I was TOO IN
for them, not to mention the people in one group blasting me for my
involvement with OTHER groups, I have come to have it up to HERE with
people telling me what I should think and how insane and weak I am
that I am involved in the search for truth (usually not theirs.)

Thus I tend go nuclear
when I blast people.  It is not an inherent schmuckyness to me, it
is overload.  I am no longer capable of being polite, and what's worse
am no longer interested in being so, as the god damn mortals are not
worth it.  They deserve their condition.

     Now maybe you have not reached that point, and hopefully you
never will, but you gotta see that my intentions are good and that
although my judgement may not be perfect as to who to blast and when,
I am under the same kinds of strain that you are and will continue
to be as long as you are a true seeker and seek other true seekers.

     The 'true believers' (in the grave) will always come a knocking
at your door calling YOU the true believer, and each of us has our frustration
level and ways of dealing with it.

     Mine is to blast and damn the torpedoes.

 Homer               Adore-l list         7/04/89*Headaches, cancer, and toggle