.ll 72
.fo off
.co on 
.ce ((Editor's comments in double parenthesis - Homer))
.ce ADR - 419
.ce Copyright (C) Homer Wilson Smith
.ce Redistribution rights granted for non commercial purposes
76 Resent-Date:  Wed, 06 Sep 89 22:06:01 EDT Resent-From:  homer
 Resent-To:  k6qv@unb.ca,
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Reply-To:     Disarmament Discussion List 
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From:         K6QV000 
To:           "Homer W. Smith" ,
              Jane Elizabeth Staller 
In-Reply-To:  In reply to your message of WED 02 AUG 1989 23:34:26 ADT

----------------------------Original message----------------------------

hi.  you mentioned that you grew up during the 1950s, with the
bomb drills and so forth.  i'm doing a little background research
on that phenomenon for a play i'm working on.  would you mind
sharing a few of your impressions of that time with me?

thanks, in advance.


     Basically life was terrifying.  I was brought up by parents who were
very scientific minded, who thought that religion was all a lot of gobbledy
gook, that you lived once, died once and that was that.

     I went to a very Quaker school though from k to 6th grade and there
was a lot of bible stuff and devil stuff and christmas stuff etc.

     I remember most being sure that the world would end in a nuclear
war brought on by the Russian agressiveness.  Or at the best I would
get drafted when I was 18 or 21 and get killed fighting some long battle
in another land.

     I felt that I was in a world not of my own making, I could not
believe in a God that had made what I saw around me, and wondered
constantly what great idiocy had spawned the mess we called civilization.

     I saw that adults were very caught up in their own somewhat nonsensical
oroblems, problems involving right and wrong independant of desire, and that
in their quest to be right they would self destruct rather than do what
was desirable.

     It was a world made of concrete and steel (New York City) interspersed
with summers in Maine which always ended right on cue.  I looked constantly
for some shred of hope of salvation but saw only a world full of people
who were bent on the rightness of war and sacrifice, bent on the all consuming
importance of the state and government and God to the exclusion of the
individual, a world caught up in its drugs and alcohol and cigarettes and
sleeping pills and coffee in the morning and brandy at night with not
a shred of discussion about why we were here and how much we hated it
and could possibly we all be wrong about all our stupid world views
including and especially Christianity.

     I went to a school, many in fact, where no one cared about what
happened to you at home, where no one cared to discuss that there were
a million other philosophies around the world than the one being dished
out here, where all were just living their lives in a black and white
nightmare saying it was all just fine and we should do our duty and
our parents would love us.

     Someday I will go back and find just exactly where I entered
the Twilight Zone.
 homer               k6qv@unb.ca          9/06/89 No subject