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.ce Copyright (C) Homer Wilson Smith
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Date:         Mon, 09 Oct 89 12:03:46 EDT
From:         Homer 
To:           adore-l@ualtavm

     An old posting lost from ages back.

     In my personal experience I have rarely met a woman who would not
admit after some discussion that they were resentful of being a woman,
and were jealous of men and their freedom and ability.

     (The flaming lesbians and feminine separatists were clear exceptions.
One always senses a hidden agenda with them though, something on the
order of serious sour grapes.  Just my bigoted male opinion.)

     This is not a absolute sweeping generality but it is a good
description of my personal experience with many many women and in
38 years I have known and talked to a lot of them.

     Yet I have not found men to suffer greatly from wishing they
had been a women except those who are upset about the all male draft.

     Thus in my opinion we have an emotional asymmetry between
men and women that these women claim men are oblivious too, and
these women don't like talking about it and spend much time denying
it to themselves because men are so insensitive to the problem.

     The trans lifetime view tends to alleviate the strain of
this jealousy, and both men and women realize they have been
both men and women down the ages and frankly would like to
do away with both and become a free spirit again.

     I find women mostly to blame for the attitude that men are at fault
for all of their problems.  'Men are this, Men are that, Men suppress us and
keep us down, Men use us and abuse us and throw us away.'

     So lets assume this is true.
What I find ironic is that the men these women are complaining
about are born and raised by the very women who are complaining about
them.  Of course some women would say they are complaining about OTHER
women's sons, not their own, but usually their own son is causing
trouble in some quarter or another somewhere else.

    Every bum had a mother.  Every monster male had a mother.
Of course every mother had a father too, but I submit to you
that it is the first fact that needs to be looked into with more than
a cursory glance if we are to find a solution to the male problem
that is ravaging the world.

     It is true that if fathers treated their daughters better, then
their daughters would treat their sons better later.  And then those
sons would treat THEIR daughters better even later.  So it is a circle.
The point is the circle contains two halves, how father treats daughter,
and how mothers treat their sons.

    We have looked long and hard at how men are responsible for the
problems of the world paying very little attention to what part if
any the woman has played.

     Of course we can say that if MEN give women the right to vote,
and if MEN give women equality, and if MEN allow them an education,
then women will treat men better.  But I submit to you this is not
the case.  Women have to do it themselves.  It can not be something
that MEN do FOR women because that validates the underlying assumption
that women are secondary and relatively insignificant in the scheme
of things.

     Women are in the corner they are in because of their own
behavior.  This is an unpopular view, but the obviousness of its
rightness must be apparent to anyone who considers the opposite view,
which is that women are victims and are not responsible for their own

     It is women who suffer the most from this view that they are
victims, because it proffers the view that they are vicitmizable and
that men arn't, and this continues the attitude that women are
very secondary sort of creatures.

     If women are NOT secondary sort of creatures and are NOT
realtively insignificant in the shceme of things, then it must
follow that they have and always have had control over their
own destinies and that underlying their present sorry condition
are decisions and actions of their own that they have undertaken
to follow all these millenia.

    By reversing the attitudes that WOMEN have about women, they
will again be able to steer the course of their destiny in
a direction of their own chosing.  But it does not start with
the attitude that men are in control and men must give them permission
to have control themselves.  If they try to improve their condition
by getting men to agree and condescend to their plight, they will
only reinforce the attitude that men have that woman's strivings
to be a full and independant being are the cute gurglings of
a young but innocent child.

    Women must TAKE what is theirs and not wait for men to GIVE
it to them.

     But what is theirs is a world full of men too, and full of
responsibility, and they will never make it if they hide behind the
terror of their own creation, like Dr. Frankenstein, by claiming that
the male issue of their womb is so mean that they have no chance
to survive as they wish.

     Thus I submit that we should look into how women feel about
the FACT that they create men, and yet they feel overwhelmed by
their own creation.  We must also look at how mothers who have
these attitudes relate with their sons, and how this in turn
results in sons that become what the mother fears most.

     Implied in this inquiry is the attitude that women are not
insignificant in the scheme of things.

     I submit to you that the reason men treat women the way they do,
is because of the way men were treated by their mothers during
the very first years.  This is not something as simple as mother
beats up on son, therefore son beats up on all women.  It is much
subtler than that.

     As it says in Adore, men kill with icepicks, women kill with ice.

     I also submit to you that the reason men treat each other the
way they do is also rooted in the same beginnings.  Therefore
a careful and hopefully scientific treatment of my proposal is in

     I am not a mysogynist, nor am I particularily gay, although
I will admit there are very few women I have met in my life that
I have liked or admired.  Especially and including my mother.
But I do work with women at Cornell, most of whom are brainier than
I am. They not only manage to hold down serious high tech jobs and seem
to know their systems cold, they also find time to raise families
with multiple kids. If I had had a mother of their caliber, perhaps
I would be singing a different tune.

     But I do like women in general, just as everyone else does,
and in fact it is to women that I hold out the hope of salvation
of mankind, because if as I say the genesis of our troubles lies
in their mis relation to their sons, then it is in their improved
relations with their sons that Earth can be brought to a major
Golden Age.

     So just hear me out.  This is a new idea that men don't want
anything to do with.  Men go hysterical at the mention that anything
wrong with them might be the result of their mother.  So maybe it is right.

     And women, you undermine your own position by saying 'well he had
a FATHER too, why blame it all on the mother?'  I don't.  However the
more you point the finger at someone other than yourselves, the more
you build a prison that you did not let yourself into and therefore
can not let yourself out of.

     It takes Responsibility for Condition to create any freedom.
Responsibility is NOT finding out how someone ELSE built your prison,
even if they did,
rsponsibility is finding out how YOU entered it, closed the door,
and threw away the key, complaining for the rest of Eternity how
you didn't build the place.

     How many corners can you back yourself into before you become
a rat?

 Homer               adore-l@ualtavm     10/09/89 No subject