((My comments in double parentheses - Homer))
                              LIFE REPAIR
                                ACT - 63
                              19 May 1994
                 Copyright (C) 1994 Homer Wilson Smith
       Redistribution rights granted for non commercial purposes.
     This is what I see about auditing.  Regardless of what is standard
tech or not, auditing is based on the Awareness Characteristic Scale,
and the entire Bridge, one way or another, must be built around it.
     The scale essentially has two parts, above and below Oblivion.
     Above oblivion you have Help, Hope, Demand for Improvement, Need
for Change, Fear of Worsening, Being an Effect, Ruin, Despair,
Suffering, Numbness, Introversion, Disaster, Inactuality, Delusion,
Hysteria, Shock, Catatonia and Oblivion.
     Below Oblivion you have Oblivion, Detachment, Duality, Secrecy,
Hallucination, Sadism, Masochism, Elation, Glee, Fixidity, Erosion,
Dispersal, Disassociation, Criminality, Uncausing, Disconnection and
     The being at Hope and Help is in very good shape, he is getting
better, he can be helped and he can help others.  This is your
Dianetically Able pc.
     Somewhere around Fear of Worsening you have your ARC Straightwire
pc, who, if he makes it on the processes offered, attains Knows he or
she won't get any worse.
     Next down, you have your pcs who are still at Ruin on the scale.
If something is ruined you fix it, or repair it, and this is the level
of Life Repair.
     Now below ruin you have people who are more crawling down the scale
rather than trying to crawl up it.  They see more comfort in Unexistence
at the bottom, than they do in Source at the very top.
     The range between Ruin and Oblivion is a very desperate range,
these people are dramatizing despair, suffering, numbness, introversion,
disaster, inactuality, delusion, hysteria, shock, catatonia and
oblivion.  It's a gradient scale of decay.
     Even a person at hysteria or shock though can be communicated to
and gotten into communication, and brought up the scale.  By the time
they are in catatonia and oblivion though you are really going to have
to know your CCH's and how to audit unconscious people.  They may not be
out cold, but they won't be aware of YOU, and they certainly won't be
aware of themselves which is what oblivion is all about.
     They are oblivious to themselves.
     Below oblivion there is a splitting of the consciousness away from
the original self which is now too painful to behold, and the being
becomes someone else in their own mind.  That's detachment and duality,
and of course they quickly descend into a world of enemies,
fundamentally different OTHERS, hallucinated evil, perversion and making
pain for a living.
     By the way Sadism and Masochism are NOT your average S&M bondage
types going at it for sexual kicks.  These guys are only play acting at
this level actually trying to run it out.  The real sadists are the guys
who enjoy torturing people for information in Vietnam, they are into it
FOR REAL.  They eventually turn it on themselves.
     At Elation and Glee you find the guy who is cackling away all the
while licking blood from his knife.  This is what insanity is, he is
totally gone.  Below that you have a descent into cold hearted
criminality and eventually out the bottom.
     Below Oblivion, people just are not all that accessible because you
are never talking to the person himself, but to his split off self that
is now oblivious to his real self.
     At oblivion and above you can at least talk to the person, and
mimick him, and get him to recognize an environment that is somewhat in
accord with what really exists, and thus bring him up the tone scale
towards correctly indicating what he is so upset about in life, and
helping him handle it or see that it was never there in the first place.
     So what is bothering this fellow is what is RUINING his life.
Until he spots that ruin it is going to be hard going, especially if he
has fallen down below numbness, because he won't really remember the
ruin any more, and he won't have much joy in the prospect of remembering
it, because he KNOWS it can't be fixed.  He will probably be doing all
kinds of mind numbing drugs at this point, alcohol, pot, cigarettes etc
to help him maintain the numbness.
     But basically he will be stuck in a whole mess of wrong why's.  He
knows he is ruined, but his explanations for it won't make all that much
sense to someone high on the tone scale.  The guy's view of himself and
the source of his predicament is just not all that accurate.  Thus his
problems persist, and they will out persist him if he is not careful.
     If you can make some CORRECT indications to him, just shoot them
right through the numbness, he will come out from his introversion on
the wrong whys, and be a little more willing to face his suffering and
despair.  It is at this point that he will be most lucid about just what
his ruins are.
     Then you nail him in session with a Life Repair.
     So this Life Repair thing is the bottom of the Bridge, any Bridge,
because if you don't find the guy's Ruins and nail them by whatever
procedure you are going to use, he just won't get better.  He will
eventually fall back down into despair and suffering.  That's what
happened to me during my Church auditing.
     The RUIN was never found and handled.
     They tried, they spent 300 hours trying, at the Org and Flag, but
it all just kept getting worse and worse, and the more auditing I got
the worse it became, and I became more terrified, and more in pain, and
my body was more certain it would die if it ever came close to solving
this thing, and to some degree this is still going on.
     So the point about Ruins is that if you don't find them, the pc
will go into apathy and never come back for more auditing.  If you come
close to finding them, but don't get them, you will restimulate the Ruin
but not blow it, and the pc will feel like his case is 'going up the
Bridge with him'.  In other words he is getting stronger and better, but
so is his case, so he still feels just as likely to die tomorrow as when
he came in.  That he is ALSO running out of money, won't help.
     The PROBLEM is that there are two kinds of Ruins.
     There are Mortal Ruins, and there are Immortal Ruins.
     Mortal Ruins are those things that ruin your one and only mortal
life.  They are like spots on a wedding dress that make the person
unsuitable to BE in the life arena.  Some inability, some loss,
something he did, SOMETHING is making a spot on his one and only Mortal
life so bad, that it becomes just barely worth living.  In fact he only
continues to live because he fears death more than living a ruined life.
If he doesn't, he kills himself.
     But to a more awake being, BEING MORTAL is itself an IMMORTAL Ruin.
The slight failures and mars of one life can not faze a being who has a
truly immortal point of view.  So what if you are born with one eye,
half a brain and no dick, and you drool green slime out your nose all
day long with little pieces of brain.  So what if no girl will go to bed
with you.  It's only one life, you will get a better body the next time
around.  Mortal ruins just aren't that important to an Immortal Thetan
once he knows he is immortal.
     But does that Repair his Life?  No.  His Mortal Life maybe, but his
Eternal Life is still in shame and shambles.
     ETERNAL shame and shambles.
     So once you have found and handled his Mortal Ruins, you have to
ALSO find and handle his Immortal Ruins.  And that is where the tech
begins to fail people.
     That's where the body begins to feel that HAVING an Immortal Ruin
IS a Mortal Ruin!  That's where it begins to feel like it would die if
it got better.  The thetan KNOWS he is getting better, but he still
feels like dying MORE and more every day.
     Anyhow, Life Repair is supposed to handle your Ruins, it is
supposed to REPAIR YOUR LIFE, and that includes your Immortal Life, and
that I believe is where the Church falls short of a complete Life
Repair.  Church pc's don't even find out that they ARE Immortal until OT
IV (Awareness of Self as an Immortal Being.) How then can you expect
them to audit you, a beginning pc, on your Immortal Ruins?  The auditor
in front of you may be a Grade IV, but he is still a meatball.  And
meatball auditors and C/Ses will only handle Mortal Ruins and won't
touch the Immortal Ruins.  So that's the end of the progress of the more
awake pc.
Homer Wilson Smith           This file may be found at
homer@rahul.net              ftp.rahul.net/pub/homer/act/ACT63.MEMO
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