WHERE'S THE CHARGE?
 
                                ACT - 8
                              29 June 1993
 
                 Copyright (C) 1993 Homer Wilson Smith
 
In article  lindsay+@cs.cmu.edu (Donald
Lindsay) writes:
 
 >Hey, should I really
 >believe that Clears never catch colds?]
 
     No.  Only that Clears won't catch cold because they are semi-
consciously precipitating it to get out of work or life.  Or if they do
precipitate a cold intentionally, they will be fully conscious of what
they are doing and could just as easily decide not to.
 
     Only 70 percent of man's ills are psychosomatic. (Or so the Old Man
says.)  I think its more like 90.  Anyhow without the ACTUAL incidents
of colds and things, there would be no engram with which to precipitate
a cold in order to get out of school or mother's lovely charm (NOT!).
 
     Any body will get ill if you feed it anthrax.  But bodies that must
get ill twice a year on schedule are trying to take a vacation from
life.  Of course it 'just happens' to them because 'a flu is going
around'.  Couldn't have anyone know we can't wait for the next go round,
now could we?
 
     A non clear thetan will bring so much pressure to bear against a
body, that its defenses get weak and it gets sick from the germs just
floating around in its blood stream.
 
     If you don't eat well the same thing happens.
 
     Wanna catch a cold?  Take 12 aspirins and don't take any vitamin C.
 
     A non clear thetan is a tremendous stress to a body, enough to wear
it out, especially when it has to work for or live around other unclear
thetans.
 
     I used to get sick just like everyone else.  Now I NEVER get sick
no matter what's happening to others.  Or if I do, I get a shadow cold,
one that I recognize at first symptom and run out in a few hours, and it
lasts 1 day or a part of a day.
 
     Of course I have run out enough charge from my body to light New
York City for a month.  So my thetan (me) just isn't crushing my body so
hard anymore.
 
     By the way, I am not even clear, far from it.
 
     What I do get every year, on June 12 or so, is hayfever.  This year
it lasted for 1 day, and I was able to run the underlying forces out.  I
still got a few itches and sneezes over the preceding two weeks.
 
     Before about 4 years ago, my hayfever came on every year at this
time and lasted for 2 months.  It was total misery, drugs didn't help or
made it worse with kickbacks.  I was addicted to nose sprays, Afrin,
etc.  I couldn't breath, I couldn't sleep, it was murder and a
nightmare.
 
     However over the past 4 years I have been working on the underlying
nightmare that is real, that I have been suppressing, invalidating, not-
ising, making wrong, etc, and as that charge has come off the case, the
hayfever thing has become light and manageable.  My whole breathing
problem, which lasted the whole year, has gone from being 80 percent
deadly to about 20 percent deadly, with each day of auditing making it
less.
 
     I am DEFINITELY over the hump, and any one who claims that auditing
don't work just don't know what he's talking about, or is afraid it
might work.
 
     For those 'really rough cases' of you out there, who never seem to
make any case gain, try this one for a while,
 
     'How would it be better to be worse?'
     'How would it be worse to be better?'
     'What is the DANGER of getting better?'
 
     'What's so dangerous about being able?'
 
     Run it until all the glib stupid answers are gone.  Then get on an
E-meter and really run it DEEP.
 
     Are you ready to die to find out why you were a mortal in this
life, and why you can't remember where you came from, and don't know
where you are going?
 
     Have you ever had a vision of your future that was SO BAD, that it
was better to just not know it, and pretend it wasn't so?
 
     Was that vision based in truth, or was there a lie?
 
     How would you know without looking at it again?
 
     Are you willing to find out you might be better off dead?
 
     How much sadness and sorrow is there on the subject of death for
you?  Death of Self, death of friends, death of parents, death of the
planet, death of music, death of civilization?
 
     Charge is violation of Sovereign Desire.  It is wanting something,
and not being able to have it, or not wanting something and having to
have it.
 
     A thetan in a state of knowingness and personal self
responsibility, can recognize when it runs into a failure of desire,
when it tries to be, do or have something but can't, that it has run
into its own not known setup.  Thus it realizes it really does have
'what it wants' even though it just suffered a failure.  Games have to
have barriers and failures to be games.
 
     So there is no charge built up by such a loss or failure.
 
     The thetan can always see the aesthetic to the failure.
 
     But once a thetan loses sight of his own personal responsibility
for the failures that he suffers, he begins to think it is real and that
he had nothing to do with it.
 
     Imagine being born with out your say so, for the first and only
time, into a world where from day one you have to work to survive, you
have to WIN the game of food, shelter and friends, just be allowed to
continue playing other games, or any game at all, a world where you or
anyone can die at any time in any unforeseen unimaginable way, where
many of your friends, perhaps even your best friends are taken away from
you by the forces of necessity, and where everyone in the end dies alone
and forgotten.
 
     Nice world.
 
     You want to find charge to audit?
 
     Charge results from not being able to find the aesthetic to
failure, to violation of Sovereign Desire.
 
     Audit personal responsibility for mortality and personal
responsibility for no awareness of personal responsibility.
 
     You'll find charge.
 
     Homer