29 February 93
                 Copyright (C) 1993 Homer Wilson Smith
         Redistribution rights granted for non commercial purposes.
     An overt is something that you have done or not done that you
regret.  It's not an overt until you regret it and it becomes an overt
only because YOU regret it.
     Regret means you wish it hadn't happened, it's a trying to MAKE it
not have happened by stopping time, or turning time back.

     Regret is a statement that the act WAS an overt, see?

     And so it becomes one, one is unwilling to have put it there, to
put it there now (reput it there), or to put it there again.

     At first it was a simple putting it there.

     Then it becomes a more complex shouldn't have it there.

     Which continues the postulate that you did.

     That's the magic of no magic.  If you say there is no magic,
there won't be, because there is magic.

     If you say you can't get rid of something you put there, you are
saying there is no magic, for magic is the ability to cause and uncause
anything causable.

     Regret is an hysterical effort to UNput something there that can
only be unput there by putting it there knowingly and willingly and then
letting go.  That's a pefect duplicate and an as-isness.

     The original postulate is putting it there.

     That's time = 0.
     The second postulate is that it shouldn't have been put there.

     That's time = time + 1 or time = 1.

     That's regret and creates time, the being is now one moment LATER
than having put it there.

     This is not simply a posulate that you no longer want it there,
but now want something else.
     It's a postulate that you shouldn't have put it there in the first

     If you put something there and you want to put something else
there instead, just do it, and the first will disappear because
you are no longer putting it there.

     But make the postulate that you shouldn't have made the first
postulate, and must be careful never to do it again, and must postulate
how to never postulate that postulate again, validates that you did,
and keeps it around forever due to you efforts to make sure you
never do it again.

     You can't conceive of never doing A again without conceiving
of A, so of course A continues until you stop doing that.

     That's how you get a persistence going, resenting a persistence.

     Trying to turn back time, postlates time, thus creating time.

     Regretting putting something there, is also an alter-isness of the
original putting it there that didn't have the added significance of
shouldn't have, wouldn't have, couldn't have put it there in the first

     Thus reputting it there, in its original moment of time = 0, means
without the added signifances that create persistence, then when you
take your attention off of it, it goes away.

     If you then make something else, that is NOT being made in the
original time stream of the first postulate, it is being made in its own
brand new time = 0.

     Thus the first time stream is GONE.

     Put it there and you have it.

     Unput it there and you don't have it.

     Put it there and worry about how to unput it there, and you have it
forever, until you put it there again and let go completely without
worry, wondering, question asking, shame, blame or regret.

     Overts can be ACCIDENTAL or INTENTIONAL.
     An accidental overt is when you are doing something and something
bad unexpectedly happens, an accident.  You are driving to the store
with your mother and a truck runs into your car and your mother is
killed.  You regret driving to the store.
     Sometimes the accident happens during something that you have been
warned against.  Usually you are warned against something because others
have learned that accidents can happen and that the activity you are
engaging in is just not worth the risk.  You may not intend that the bad
thing happen, but if you ignore the warning and the accident happens
anyhow, there is an added social censure that comes from the fact that
you were warned and chose to ignore the warning because you are a 'know
     Children playing with matches rarely intend to burn the house down,
but they are warned excessively about the possibility and are forbidden
to play with matches for just that reason.  If you choose to play with
matches in spite of the warnings and forbiddings, and you accidentally
burn the house down, you will often often be charged with an INTENTIONAL
     Warnings however often CAUSE accidents, so warning people
excessively about dangers, especially dangers that they must face in
order to grow up, often causes a calamity collector.
     Parent says, 'Don't do that, you will hurt yourself!", child
promptly goes out and hurts himself because he has been put on a warning
which introverts his attention and makes him unstable.
     An intentional overt happens when you do something bad to someone
who you are opposed to or dislike or hate or wish revenge upon.  Later
your see the sadness in their eyes or you realize you hurt them too
much, or even that they were the wrong party and so you regret what you
     It wasn't an accident that you hurt them, but you change your mind
about the appropriateness of the matter after it happens, so again you
regret what you did and it becomes an overt.
     You can regret killing your worst enemy, so be competent with your
     A withhold is something you have done that you are not talking
about, you don't want others to know you did.  It's a secret.
     There are two kinds of withholds.  Laudable withholds and
unlaudable or dishonorable withholds.
     A laudable withhold is when you have done something which you are
then withholding and not talking about because others think it was wrong
but you don't.  An obvious example of this is a soldier behind enemy
lines posing as the enemy trying to destroy an ammo dump.  Clearly the
enemy would be severely opposed to this kind of behavior, but the
soldier thinks what he is doing is right.
     A dishonorable withhold is something that you have done that YOU
think is wrong, but you did it anyhow and you are now withholding it so
that other's do not find out what you did.
     Another obvious example is that same soldier who is captured and
under threat of torture tells the enemy everything they need to know to
defeat his own country.  Later when he is released back into his own
group he doesn't want anyone to know who it was that spilled the beans.
     Another example of a laudable withhold would be someone who thinks
his government is criminal and may therefore cheat on his taxes because
he doesn't want to support the government's war machine.  
     Or he may think that smoking pot is ok or even good for you and
that the war on drugs is evil, but clearly his government does not
agree.  So he will cheat on this taxes and smoke pot very clandestinely
making very sure no one finds out what he's up to lest it get him into
big trouble.
     He thinks what he is doing is fine and ought to be fine to others,
and he is even willing for other's to do these things too, so he does
them and hides them.
     This acts as a withhold, something he is not talking about, but it
is a laudable withhold as he thinks he is doing right in the face of
great pressures to do wrong.

     He refuses to let the lowest among him determine what right
and wrong is for him.  Which is fine, but then he withholds doing it
rather than being open about it, due to the consequences to himself
and his loved ones.

     There is a time for secrets.  But they are still secrets and hold
him down.
     One the other hand, one day he finds a wallet lying on the ground
and it has some money in it with the owner's id.  He knows he should
return the wallet with the money, but instead he takes the money and
mails back the wallet anonymously.  Now he doesn't feel too good about
this, because he knows it was dishonorable as hell, he certainly
wouldn't want anyone to take HIS money if they found HIS wallet, so he
is NOT willing for other's to do what he did, but there it is, he did
     Basically he is not willing to face the person he ripped off and
tell them what he did because he knows they would reject him as a
civilized being and well he deserves this and he knows it.
     Since he never tells anyone about this rip off lest he suffer
social censure, this acts as a withhold, a dishonorable withhold,
something that he has done that he does not want other's to know about
because HE thinks he shouldn't have done it, and he wouldn't want anyone
else doing it either.
     Secrets however only last as long as you can keep them secret.
Usually most withholds either get found out or get missed.  When a
withhold is found out, there are consequences to suffer but that is
usually the end of it psychologically.  You take your lumps and go on
     The guy who is smoking pot gets found out, perhaps ratted on and he
gets busted.  They send him to prison and for a few years he is a
prisoner of war, the drug war, big deal.  He can stand proud about the
whole thing as his cause was noble and he knows it.
     Besides it is not his one and only life, he can afford to waste a
few fighting for truth, freedom and justice.
     The guy who gets caught stealing money from some little ole lady's
wallet, gets busted, gets sent to prison perhaps or suffers some other
social censure, and after a while everyone forgets about it.  The guy
knows he did wrong, he feels relieved to have been able to pay his debt
to society with his balls still intact and the thing heals.  In 20
years, who cares.
     The problem comes in when the withhold is MISSED.
     There are three kinds of missed withholds, CLOSE CALLS, WONDERS and
     A CLOSE CALL is when someone almost finds out but doesn't.  They
came close to finding out what you did, or that you did it, but then
they fail to make the discovery.  This leaves you scared and shaken.
The memory of the close call never leaves you and you spend the rest of
eternity trying to make sure it never happens again.
     For example you keep your pot in a box with your old sneakers in
your closet, and one day you walk into your bed room and find your
mother has decided to clean everything in sight.  Your mother hates pot,
she would bust you in a moment for it and her hand is 3 inches away from
the box that has your stash in it.  At just that moment the phone rings
downstairs and she says 'Oh, I must go answer that, it's probably
Betty!' and she runs off leaving you scared half out of your wits with
your heart in your mouth.
     While she is on the phone however you quickly get your stash and
take it out doors where she will never find it.  Later when she comes
back to continue cleaning, all is well and she finds your old sneakers
in the box where the pot was and she gives you a really dirty look and
says 'Boy these sneakers really stink, they really must go!' and she
promptly takes the box and the sneakers downstairs and throws them out.
     You see it was a close call, but you KNOW she did not find out.
There is a moment of terror and impending doom, followed by relief, and
usually the swearing in of a few new year's resolutions about how to
avoid such an incident in the future.
     A WONDERING missed withhold is when someone comes close to finding
out what you have been up to but then leaves you wondering if they did
or not.  You find it impossible to resolve the question in your mind,
and you continue to wonder if they know and just are not saying anything
about it, or if they really don't know.
     Say you walk in one day and as you pass your mother in the kitchen
she gives you a really dirty look.  You wonder what's up, and you go
upstairs to change.  You find your room has been totally rearranged and
in a sudden panic you fly to your closet to check your sneaker box with
the stash.  IT'S GONE!  Oh God, you say to your self, now you've had it.
You might has well just flush yourself down the toilet.
     You walk downstairs expecting the worst, and your mother says,
'Jesus, don't you have anything better to do than hang out with those
smelly kids all day long, they smell as bad as your old sneakers!  Then
she gives you this really penetrating look and says, 'They are all a
bunch of pot heads anyhow, really I think you ought to make new
     Then she feeds you dinner.  You ask very timidly what happened to
your old sneakers, and she says they stank and she threw them out.
After dinner, you go quietly out to the garbage to find them, but the
garbage man has already taken them away, presumably with your stash too.
     When you come back in, you mention that you are going back out with
your friends which she doesn't like, and she says, 'You know I really
don't like those friends of yours, and if I ever catch you smoking pot I
will have your hide!'
     So, does she know or doesn't she?  You never really find out.
Maybe she's just hiding that she knows because she doesn't want your
father to kill you, or maybe she really never saw the stash, but you
find that impossible to believe.  How could she have missed it?  It's
too incredible to believe.  But why isn't she saying anything about it?
     So you get stuck in this dilemma, she can't possibly know or else
she would have said something more direct about it, but she could not
possibly have missed it because the stash was right there on top of the
     So you go over and over your little exchanges with her, you RACK
YOUR MEMORY REPEATEDLY, you try to remember her dirty looks, her words,
everything she says and does that might give you a clue as to whether
she knows or not.  And you do this for the rest of time.  There is no
relief here.
     And that is a missed withhold for sure!
     There is a third kind of missed withhold that I haven't talked a
lot about, and that's when someone KNOWS what you have done, either
because you did it to him, or he was there when you did it, or he found
out some other way, and over time he tends to forget it.  You HOPE he is
going to forget about it in any case, and as time passes you begin to
constantly wonder if he has forgotten about it yet.
     This might not seem too reasonable between adults who don't usually
forget what people do so easily, but it happens routinely between parent
and child.
     The child is born with a fully functional memory and starts
recording everything that happens to him and that he does from the day
he is born.  Actually he starts recording long before he is born, but we
will leave that to another day.
     Anyhow it takes about a year before the child can talk, begin to
form sentences, ask questions, give answers and generally tell the world
what he thinks of it.  It is during this period of time before he learns
how to talk that parents usually assume that the child can not or will
not remember much of anything, BECAUSE THEY DON'T, although they know
damn well that if the child could speak he would probably give them all
a piece of his mind.
     Then comes the period when the child is actually beginning to talk,
and suddenly it hits the parent that once the child can talk he will
immediately reveal all those things that the child knows the parent did
that the parent doesn't want anyone else knowing the parent did!
     The parent hopes to hell that the child has forgotten by now
anything the parent does not wish the child to blurt out, and worse the
parent makes sure that the child does not learn the words necessary to
blurt it out, like 'lover', 'cum', 'abuse', 'torture' etc.
     In fact the parent's entire time teaching the child how to talk
involves making damn sure the child does NOT learn to talk, or at least
doesn't learn to say anything of importance or which might incriminate
the parent.
     Thus kids are routinely not told what the word 'breast' means or
what they are good for until very late in life because they might ask
how come they didn't get any.
     In fact parents are usually busy going 'Say Daddy, say Mommy' and
the kid is reaching out for the tits going, 'Titty, titty' and he gets
slapped down with 'NO!  BAD!  Say Daddy, say Mommy.'
     So the kid starts thinking 'Give me your tits bitch', but of course
those words are never learned so are never expressed.  A long time later
when they are finally learned, the earlier need to express them is long
submerged in apathy, hopelessness and pain, and so the parent's wish
that the child not be able to remember comes true.
     Thus there is this period of time when the kid is learning to talk,
specifically TO ASK QUESTIONS AND TO ANSWER QUESTIONS, that every word
out of the kid's mouth is scrutinized carefully by the parent to see if
the kid remembers or still knows what the parent is dying to make sure
the kid will forget.  Thus the kid is continuously missing a withhold on
his parents, probably many of them, which makes the parents nervous and
irritated around him and eventually leads them to not like the kid,
because the kid is not smart enough to glean their confession
     Secretly they are thinking, 'How could this kid possibly forget
what I did to him, what a blind little nothing!'
     In general if you miss a withhold on someone, the constant worry
and anxiety of wondering whether or not you know will lead them to
despise you and lose respect for you, even though you have done nothing
and probably don't even know!  It's mainly an effort to get rid of you
so they don't have to be reminded that you might know!
     Thus if you miss a withhold on your parents during your early life,
their relationship to you will change subtly but noticeably, and they
will start being harsh and cruel and making you wish you were dead and
had never been conceived.  It is usually out of this treatment that
children form their early psychosomatic problems and illnesses to help
alleviate their parent's hostility.  The more sick, dead, dying, unable
and injured they can be, the more their parents will accept them.
     In fact serious childhood illness can often be traced back to the
desire on the part of the parent that the child not be alive.  The child
obliges the parent by trying to get as close to dead as possible by
getting sick, to see if the parent really means it.
     Usually the parent turns around and gives the child sympathy during
the illness so the child concludes that the parent is really a nice guy
after all and really staying alive would be much better.  Of course once
the child gets better, the parent goes back to being a bitch, and the
child will get sick periodically and regularly to relieve tension.
Usually once or twice a year.  He's gotta be wanted once in a while, you
     Parents hate this stuff, as they are guilty as hell and know it but
they are still wondering if YOU know it.
     The mere suggestion that they have done wrong and are hiding it
will send any parent into the screaming meamies, a fit that would make
you wonder how anyone in such a state ever got a license to have
     Their primary crime of course is having a child who shouldn't have
been had.  Usually THEY shouldn't have been had either and they know it.
     Talk about being born on the wrong side of the tracks.
     Their second crime is teaching the child once they have him, that
he has lived only once and dies only once and that's it forever, which
burdens the child with so much false sorrow that it's amazing the child
can continue to walk around and go to school.
     Or war.
     In therapy if you want to tap into this sorrow and release it you
should hunt around for the child's first false awareness of the finality
of death and 'never having lived before'.  The amount of laughter there
at the bottom of that well of darkness is beyond words.

     Don't forget to audit the times HE taught other's they live
only once, and everyone teaching others the same thing.

     People hold people accountable for what they have taught others.
     This will return the child to a bright new ENDLESS future of love
and life.
     One way to do this is to run First Hellos and Last Good Byes.  You
have him locate times in the past, present and future when he has
suffered or will suffer saying his first hello to someone he loves and
then his last good bye.
     I bring up the future because people are just as sad about what
WILL happen as what HAS happened.
     No matter what has happened, if this person is still walking
around, the past is no where near as bleak to them as they conceive
their future to be.
     People when they are mortal, get this idea that once a person dies
they are GONE.  Where there used to be someone, a living breathing
friendly SOMEONE, there is now NO ONE.  Get the person to spot this
feeling, 'Well Mommy's gone, all there ever was of Mommy is now no
more...' etc.
     Also get the 'Mommy, Don't Die!' off of it.
     Look if you can't stand emotion, or face-contorting and gut
wrenching sympathies and sorrows, you shouldn't be in this game of life,
let alone in training as a psychotherapist or spiritual healer.
     People feel that by not communicating or NOT IS-ing the pain of
death that somehow it will be less painful.  Parents don't want to hear
about it.  They teach their child that they will die forever in 70
years, and then they NEVER all have a good family cry about the matter.
Daddy's gotta go to work you know, couldn't have him falling apart on
the job because he suddenly realizes the futility of his own existence,
now could we.
     You see it's all for the children's OWN GOOD, that we never mention
the pain of death, separation or first hellos and last good byes.
     But dry eyed sorrow never heals, and when people don't feel these
things out, all of the suppressed charge finally kicks back at them and
they live the rest of their lives with cancer, arthritis, headaches,
stuffed noses, eye glasses, and who knows what else.
     What they don't want to see is someone crying.  If he YOU start
crying the whole world will start crying (and laughing) too.

     There is tremendous sorrow here to be released if you have the
nerve and Divine courage to do so.  It helps if you have gone through
this yourself before you try to do it on another.
     The parent's third crime against the child is teaching him that he
had no prior responsibility for choosing to be in that family.
     Yes the parent's are responsible for the conception and birth of
the body, but the spirit that takes it over is responsible for entering
the body and forgetting that he has done so.
     The parents open the door to the family by creating a body, but the
spirit has to choose to walk in through that open door into this life.
     The parent's fourth crime is teaching the child that he has never
been a parent himself with kids out after his blood, and that he is
trying to forget his past lives because he can't stand the thought of
the pain he has caused to others by teaching them the same four stupid
things his parents are teaching him now.
     So the end result is the parent becomes a hand wringer, 'We have
done our best, but our child, ungrateful wretch that he was, did not
appreciate us and in the end it all turned out too horrible to confront
anyway, poor us.'
     Oh yes, and 'No, we won't talk about this now.'
     By the time the parent is down into blaming the child you know damn
well the parent has so many overts and withholds on children that he can
barely walk.  The only way he can continue to stand up is to pretend he
had nothing to do with the ruin of his own family and the little lives
that had been entrusted to his care.  Blaming his own children and
fabricating justifications about how it wasn't his fault but theirs, is
just his last effort to stand tall in a society of the walking dead.
     You want to be the tallest dead one around?

     You ever notice how everyone is walking TOWARDS their grave?  Give
them enough time, and sure enough, 'Here lies me, poor me.'
     The last kind of withhold, is when you do something bad, and no one
finds out about it, but you can't tell anyone for the rest of time.
     One day you accidentally or on purpose kill a little girl for
some reason.  They never find out it was you, and from there on out
there is something you AREN'T RELATING about to anyone.

     Relations are made of instances of relating, co communication and
the resulting goal oriented co action between you and others about
things that are important to you.

     When you have things you can't relate about, then you can't have
relationships with people.

     You can have partial relationships, rife with secrets, but when
there is more you can't talk about than stuff you can talk about, the
talk becomes trite, and eventually the relationship dies.

     Better to confess your crime, kill yourself in atonement, preferably
while saving someone else's life, and come back in another life where no
one will remember you anyhow.  You hope.

     Maybe in that life you can marry the little girl in her next life
and make amends to her by taking care of her for your whole life.


     Now the problem with withholds of any kind is that they are a NOT
DONE after the fact of a DONE.  They are a no communication on some
subject that would otherwise be free flowing.  Once a person develops an
unconfessed withhold, the entire course of their history changes and of
course this gets recorded in their memory track.
     Once you stop talking about sex because you had 3 or 4 homosexual
lovers which nobody knows about during your marriage, then entire
subjects of discussion will go by the boards for your child along with
the words that would be involved, fidelity, infidelity, virtue, vice,
honesty, dishonesty, divorce, sin, carnal, prejudice etc.  These
normally would be on going subjects of discussion with your children as
soon as they were old enough to understand them, but if you are DOING
them and it's a withhold, you will be chary of bringing them up because
the spotlight might be put on YOU.
     Usually people relate best over meals, so if your child hates
the dinners you make for them, its not the food, its the deafening
silence between you and them.

     Worse if your child starts to ask questions, 'Hey Daddy, what's a
fag?' you are much more likely to say 'Who's been teaching you such
words, go wash your mouth out with soap' rather than sit down and TALK
with her about the various vulgar and non vulgar forms of language and
its roots, not to mention the idiosyncrasies of sexual interest among
people and the social stigma that are attached to them.
     "Prejudice is not something you have to worry your sweet little
mind about young lady, there is no prejudice in THIS family!"
     In operating prejudice, you end up NOT DISCUSSING prejudice.  You
are too busy DOING it, don't you see?
     Especially when the prejudice is mixed with hypocrisy.  Outwardly
you hate blacks, but you are sleeping with one on the side.
     God what would your husband and neighbor's think?  Imagine what not
talking about this would do to the free flow of communication on any
subject with your child!
     Thus your child's education and mental development are stopped in
their tracks right at the moment where there are subjects and words,
questions and answers that you are not willing to discuss because YOU
don't want to be found out.
     Some people think that parents don't like discussing certain
subjects like sex and drugs with their children because they are afraid
their children will go out and DO them the minute they find out about
     But the truth is the parent doesn't want to discuss them because he
is already DOING them and is ashamed of it and doesn't want anyone to
know he's doing it or even to suspect there might be something there to
know about.
     When was the last time your parent's let you watch them make love?
     Does the thought turn your stomach?
     Why did you have to sleep alone as a child in a crib?
     Ever have nightmares?
     Every child knows that monsters have beds for roofs.

     So as far as the child is concerned there is a whole area of overt
acts that a parent does to a child that has to do with NOT DONES.
     Things the parent did NOT do to or with the child which he should
     Things he didn't talk about, subjects he didn't bring up,
discussions he never had, not to mention never playing or working with
the child at anything real.
     It can be almost impossible to find and locate the bad things the
parent DID to the child without first finding and getting off the things
they DID NOT DO to the child but should have.
     The entire memory track of the guilty party after the DONE is
filled with NOT DONES from there on out.
     So you have these two kinds of overt acts, both of which can be
withheld.  DONES and NOT DONES.
     In either case the parent ends up not talking about them, and the
words and concepts that surround these areas become subjects of
nondiscussion for the child.
     If you were to just take any 2 year old who had been talking for a
year or so, and ask him everything he knew about, every word he
understood the meaning of, you would find in all the words that he
DIDN'T tell you, all the words that he DIDN'T know or understand but was
old enough to do so, those subject areas that the parent had withholds
on and all of their vested interests that the child not find out, not
know, forget or otherwise not mature into that area.
     It's really ironic, you spend your whole childhood just learning
how to formulate a question and get an answer, and then just when you
finally understand and gain mastery over the matter, you are told 'Shut
up and don't ask questions!' or fed a fois gras of lies.
     As a child you ask 'Why?' and your parent says, 'You are not old
enough to understand why, when you are old enough to understand I will
explain it to you.  For Christ's Sakes, if I had to explain everything
to you I wouldn't have any time to read my newspaper!'
     'Go away kid, you bother me.'
     Children are supposed to be seen and not heard, mostly because when
ever you hear them they are asking embarrassing questions about pompous
fools, their parents and the remainder of adult society.  These are
people who are pretending to run society and the child's future with
wisdom, but who in fact are running it into the ground just so that no
one finds out about them.
     Children are supposed to OBEY, they are not supposed to UNDERSTAND.

     Parenting often runs on a carrier wave of evil.

     Evil is DEFINED to mean telling the child that something is good
for him, when in fact it is 'good' for the parent at the child's
expense, usually fatal psychologically.
     This puts the child in a murderous rage, and right about here he
probably starts wishing his parents would rot in hell forever.  In any
case the child IS rotting in hell now, and until the child is allowed
some responsibility for growing up and contributing to the welfare of
one and all, he will continue to be there.
     "Oh my God, allow a child to create?  Oh no, imagine what
a child would create!

     Every child has his own schedule for growing up, when he is allowed
to mature at his own rate and on his own determinism he will turn out
healthy, skilled and powerful, a few hours auditing in between.  But if
the child exists solely for the whimsy of the parents, then he will
never grow up and will continue to suck his thumb until the day he dies.
     One day mother wants a sweet little baby, the next day she wants a
mature little man.  In any case she wants it for herself, much as a
little girl wants her dolls to be one thing for her one day and
something else for her another day.
     The real child wants to PRODUCE and CONTRIBUTE.  He is serious
about living, not being a doll in his parent's doll house.  If you want
to find the source of your chronic psychosomatic conditions look to the
rage engendered by parents, societies or Gods, who would not let you be,
and look to where you did the same thing to your own children lifetimes
     It is in this early area of non communication between parent and
child, when the child is just learning to talk, that the child learns
that there is not much reason TO talk and soon loses his memory of all
those things that happened BEFORE he could talk that he really wanted
and needed to talk about.  But alas the parents will not have it.
Jesus, it might get blabbed about in school, and published!  Thus
parents look to the child daily to see if he still remembers and thank
their demon gods just as often that he doesn't.
     I mean you know a lot of people think that the reason we can't
remember our babyhoods is because our memory was not developed yet or
some such tripe.  In fact they say that this is the reason it takes the
child so long to develop the ability to talk and ask questions and get
answers.  He supposedly can't do this until he gets a memory that is
     Well that makes sense.
     But since his being able to talk is then a sign that his memory is
first question, or their first answer?  Or the first time they were
slapped down for being inquisitive?  Come on, they are learning words by
the hundreds, are you telling me they don't have a memory yet?
     Phooey!  Their memory is fine and fully functional, it's just that
the pain in it and the hopelessness about ever being able to TALK about
it is so great that the only solution the child has to the problem is to
go to sleep permanently on that subject, so that portion of his life
vanishes into the grave of oblivion.

     Don't forget the first rule of auditing.

     If you can't remember a dog you had, conceive of dogs you haven't
     Start digging around here for the first moments of violation of
trust and honor on the subject of words, questions and answers, and you
will find not only is the entire memory complete, but that the child is
raging mad at the crap his parents have been handing him in the name of
upbringing, which has caused all manner of arrested development,
psychosomatic disorders and not knowing what the hell to DO with his
life because he was forbidden the words, the questions and the answers
that were necessary to DO it.
     Imagine a child who had the basic goal 'To Bring Sanity to the
Universe'.  He asks, 'Daddy, what does "insanity" mean and how come
Mommy is acting that way?'.  He is promptly told 'Stop being rude, you
should RESPECT your mother, it's none of your business anyhow.'
     Great, so much for that goal, I guess I'll just have to put this
life on hold for another 20 years or so.
     So the child thinks to himself, 'Hmmm, since I am not supposed 'To
bring Sanity to this Universe', maybe I should take up the goal 'To
Murder Women' instead, that would be fun.'
     You see how this goes?
     This child was just trying to help his mother, who actually was
completely insane and the child knew it, he just wanted to TALK about it
to start his life goal rolling.  To the child his mother was merely his
first patient, and this was alright with the child, he UNDERSTOOD,
     We had a real world class healer developing here.
     But children are not supposed to be useful, they are supposed to be
quiet and obedient and respectful no matter how bad their parents are.

     And a parent will NEVER unburden his shame, blame and regret
to his own child which it is still young, and will never tell
that young child this is so.

     To admit to the child that he might be useful in helping mother's
condition of suicidal depression, it would also have to be admitted that
perhaps the two parents should never have gotten married in the first
place, and that the child should never have been born, and that the same
might be true of mother and HER parents!  (It was.)
     So you see this child's one simple question opens up a whole can of
worms for the parent, and many withholds and regrets are restimulated
     The child can not be allowed to help repair a situation without the
parent first admitting that the situation is there in the first place
and that the parents are not the perfect pillars of wisdom and rightness
that they feel they need to be to keep the child happy.
     I fact the parents never grew up at all, they are still
very sick children.

     Children do not need perfect parents, they do not need parents who
know everything to keep their desire to live alive, they need the TRUTH,
     It has become fashionable to assume that the TRUTH is no good for a
child, he is too young to know what's TRUE and he is too fragile to
absorb it once he does know it.
     Or he might dream of the monsters make their homes under
his bed.

     This is the biggest pile of bull doo I have ever heard, and really
the parents true fear is not that the truth will hurt the child, but
that the exposure will hurt the parent.
     About all the truth will do to the child is put him on strike
against all the liars around him.  The liars KNOW this so they hide the
truth from the child for 'his own good', because if children everywhere
went on strike for the rest of their lives, the liars would all be out
of a job and starve to death and who would remain to take care of the
children, poor dears?
     Therefore for their own good we must lie to them so they never see
what jerks we really are.  Jesus children wouldn't be able to sleep at
night knowing the truth about all the adults around them!
     You want to know why children get eyeglasses?  There it is.
     Children are supposed to TELL the truth, but they are not supposed
to KNOW the truth.
     But to not KNOW the truth, they have to make sure they never LOOK.
     'What don't you want your child to know?'
     'What wouldn't you want your child to know?'
     'What didn't you want your child to know?'
     'What won't you want your child to know?'
     Thus children are lied to, blinded, and protected from the TRUTH
and its God, all for their own sake.  The parent knows damn well HE
can't confront the truth, so he sure isn't going to put his child
through that wringer!
     The painful truth is if a child is old enough to ask the question,
he is old enough to get the answer.  If you as a parent have a problem
with your child knowing an answer to a question that he can understand,
formulate and ask, then you should never have had that child in the
first place.
     Although people are aware that it can be a crime to DESTROY a life,
they haven't yet woken up to the fact that it can be a crime to CREATE a
life too.
     If you ruin a life by destroying it, or ruin a life by creating it,
what's the difference?
     That's because there are no penalties for creating life on Earth.
The penalties come after you die, usually you get born into a family
that is just like the worst one you ever created yourself as a parent!
     And you thought there was no justice for parents.
     However, justice is a two way street.  If you are going to admit
there will be justice for parents when they become children in their
next lives, you had better admit you suffered some of that justice
yourself as a child in this life from your previous lives as a good for
nothing parent.
     And that is where we come back to CO-EXCUSED WITHHOLDS.
     You know it's not that bad things happen to you BECAUSE you have
done bad in a past life.  But look at it, if everyone is raising robots
for children, then when you come back in your next life you are bound to
get a robot for a parent because the children of yesterday become the
parents of today.
     So as a parent today you had better raise children who can raise
children and not play in doll houses.  For YOU will be the children in
those doll houses down the road a bit.
     What should families talk about at dinner with their children?

     Not the food for sure.  First one to talk about the food
gets to do the dishes.

     Talk about how to raise children.

     Yes, yes I know, you would all like to never get born again, and
get off the Wheel of Birth and Death for good, but look, once you are
off of it, what are you going to do for the rest of time?  Don't you
think it would be nice to come back here and kick some righteous butt
for a change and help make Earth a better place for everyone else to
progress off THEIR wheel of birth and death?
     Life and Death are the most dangerous game ever created,
on a monstrous scale billions and billions of lightyears on all
sides of you.

     You are going to need good parents to do this.  How many good
parents are there on this planet today?
     So it's rough, if you don't forge the freedom of the future you
won't ever have any.  Sure if you clear yourself you might leave this
sphere for good, but the rest of humanity will still be here sinking
into the pit for the rest of time.  You do have a few friends here you
know, worthy AND NEEDFUL of your help, even if you haven't met any of
them yet in this life time.
     That freedom that you must forge for your own future as a child is
simply and only the freedom to communicate and know the truth on any
subject when you are ready for it at any age.  Your brightness as a
child born on Earth will depend on the mastery of intelligence, honesty,
and forthrightness of the parents you chose to visit yourself upon.
     If you don't produce such parents in this life time with your
children, you won't have any to come back to.
     You WANT to come back, right?  Well you have your work cut out for
you, but it is in your children that most of your work needs to be done.
     Don't give them to the state, and don't give them to the Devil.
     Give them to the TRUTH.
     That means getting your withholds cleaned up, and getting THEIR
withholds cleaned up, in this and in past lives as parents.  Then once
you are all able to talk and FEEL FREELY on any subject including
Operating Divinity and the lies of both (biological) life and death,
then you will have established an unshakable outpost in this spiritual
frontier of tragedy, travesty and ludicrous demise, and perhaps have a
few laughs along the way.
     Then, miracle of miracles, you might even come to love your
children and be glad you knew them and will know them again.  If you do
it right, they and theirs might even love you for real and build a
heaven for you in your next life time when you are the child and they
are the parent, rather than the hell you presently occupy.
     Wouldn't it be nice to operate freely?
     'What aren't you talking about?'