FIRST HELLOS AND LAST GOODBYES

                                 ADO - 9
                              18 July 1993

                  Copyright (C) 1993 Homer Wilson Smith

      "Life is a series of Hellos and Goodbyes, kind of like a train 
running past station after station.  You say hello to the station, then 
you say goodbye to the station.  The problem is you get attached to each 
station when you say hello to it, so it rips your heart out when you pass 
it by."

      Running engrams will often release lots of sorrow, and running
sorrow will often release engrams that blow off like shooting pains
and fireworks.  If an engram hangs up, you can look for LATER sorrow
on the case.  If sorrow hangs up, you can look for EARLIER engrams on
the case.

      Engrams run from early to late, and secondaries (anger, guilt,
regret, fear, numb, sorrow and apathy) run from late to early.

      The earlier an engram is, the easier it is to run out, which is why
if an engram hangs up during running, you look for the earlier engram.
Once you find the basic on the chain, you erase it and then come forward
to all the later incidents that would not lift completely until the
basic was run.

      The later a sorrow is, the easier it is to run out, which is why
you need to get the late life sorrows first, MOST IMPORTANTLY THE FUTURE
SORROWS that haven't happened yet but which the preclear knows WILL
happen one day.

     The best time to get the death of a loved one or other loss, is
LONG before happens, during first conception of death on the matter.

     When a person new to dianetics tries to run his own or another's
case, he usually tries to run it backwards.  Engrams erase from early to
late, so they will try to run late life engrams first and won't go near
the early ones, pre speech, birth, prenatal, between lives, past lives,
before bodies and past universes.

     Like engrams, the person will usually try to erase secondaries
backwards too.  Secondaries erase from late to early, so he will give
you early life sorrows first, but they won't lift.  So you try to find
the LATER sorrows until you come to the latest one on the chain.  Once
you erase that one, you then have to go back down the chain to the
earlier sorrows to clean up all the ones that wouldn't lift until the
latest one was erased.

     Running sorrows (secondaries) will throw you into engrams, running
engrams will throw you into sorrows.

     When an engram won't lift, you look for an EARLIER engram.  If that
doesn't work you look for a LATER sorrow.

     When a sorrow won't lift you look for a LATER or FUTURE sorrow.  If
that doesn't work you look for an EARLIER engram.

     This is NOT the way it is written in the book, so hold on to your
seats.

     You ask the person, 'Is there an incident available for running?'
Say he gives you an engram.  You run it for a bit and it stops
releasing.  So you look for an earlier engram.  You find one and run
that one for a while.  It stops releasing.  You ask for an earlier
engram, he can't find one.  (Don't forget to ask for earlier beginnings
too or wrong durations, I won't be mentioning it again.)

     So you ask for a later secondary: anger, guilt, regret,
unexpression, fear, numb, sorrow, apathy, loss etc.  He gives you one
and you run that for a while.  It stops running, so you ask him for an
LATER secondary.  He gives you one.  You run it for a while, it stops
running.  You ask for a later secondary, he says no.  (Don't forget to
ask for later endings, I won't be mentioning it again.)

     You then ask him for an earlier engram.  He gives you one and you
run it for a while.  It stops running.  You ask him for an earlier
engram, he says no.

     You ask him for a later sorrow (even a future sorrow!) and he gives
you one.  You run that for a while and it jams.  You ask him for another
later secondary and he gives you one.  Suddenly that one runs really
well and erases.  

     NOW you ask him for an EARLIER secondary.  You are going to clean
up the ones you touched trying to find the later one.  He gives you one
and it erases.  Then another earlier secondary and it erases.  Finally
he gives you the earliest sorrow on this secondary chain and it erases.
The sorrow chain is now gone.

     But the engram chain underlying the secondary chain still needs to
be completed.

     So you ask him for an earlier engram and he gives you one.  You run
it for a while and it jams.  You ask him for an earlier engram and he
gives you one.  Suddenly that one runs really well and erases.  THAT was
basic on that chain of engrams!

     NOW you ask him for a LATER engram.  You are going to clean up the
ones you touched trying to find the earlier basic one.  He gives you one
and it erases.  Then another later engram and it runs and erases.  Then
another later engram and it runs and erases.  Then he gives you the
latest engram on that chain of engrams and it erases.  The engram chain
is now gone.

     Thus the two intertwined chains of engrams and secondaries are
fully erased.

     If a chain jams, it is usually because you are not going in the
right direction on the chain, EARLIER into the past for engrams and
LATER into the future for secondaries.

      *INTO THE FUTURE FOR SECONDARIES*

     Death and loss begine to weigh on heart when first conceived, not
when they finally happen.

     While you are still looking for the earliest engram and the latest
sorrow you will touch many engrams and sorrows on the way that will
partially erase but not lift completely.  Once you find the latest
sorrow (maybe a future life or universe sorrow) and it erases
completely, you then need to touch upon and erase all the earlier
sorrows you partially erased while coming up the line to the latest
sorrow.

     The same thing goes for engrams.  Once you find the earliest engram
(often a past existence engram) and it erases completely, you then need
to touch upon and erase all the later engrams you partially erased while
going down the line to the earliest engram.

      Thus with sorrows, you come up the line finding sorrows until you
find the latest sorrow which is the basic on the chain of sorrows, and
erase it completely.  

     'Basic' usually means the first incident on a chain, but with
sorrows its confused, because the latest sorrow on the chain is the one
that needs to be run, just remember it may be the earliest conceived, so
the latest sorrow on the chain that runs out may be the first sorrow
conceived long ago.

     Then you go back down the line cleaning up what is left of all the
earlier sorrows you touched on that chain until you reach the earliest
sorrow on that chain, and that whole chain of sorrows blow.

     The latest sorrow on the chain is the basic on the chain.  The
latest sorrow on any serious chain of sorrows is almost always in the
far distant future.

     With engrams, you go down the line finding engrams until you find
the earliest engram which is the basic on the chain, and erase it
completely.  Then you come back up the line cleaning up what is left of
all the later engrams you touched on that chain until you reach the
latest engram on the chain and the whole chain blows.

     The earliest engram on the chain is the basic on the chain.  The
earliest engram on any serious chain of engrams is almost always in the
far distant past.

     Theoretically if you do this right, the case should unravel,
constantly handing you the next thing to run with little effort
at finding them.

     Ask the fileclerk mechanism of the bank, "Tell me the next incident
necessary to resolve your case," "Snap!" of fingers.

     The instant reponse should be the right one for a well performing
preclear whose fileclerk isn't buried in entities forcing it to give
wrong incidents all the time.

     This is called running Whole Track Dianetics, where it is fully
understood that Whole Track means past, present and future.

     If running future secondaries seems strange to you, just keep
reading.

     Just as a note to clear up confusion, a secondary is any moment of
antagonism, anger, guilt, regret, fear, numb, sorrow or apathy, or
actually any tone between Antagonism 2.0 and Spiritual Death at -400.0.

     TONE SCALE
     http://www.clearing.org/cgi/archive.cgi?/electra/tone.memo

     Sorrow incidents are just one kind of secondary, but I often use
the term sorrow and secondary interchangeably.  When I say sorrow, I
mean usually mean secondary.  The context should make it clear.

     This is because sorrow incidents are of key importance in a
preclear's case as they are the last effort to communicate that
something is wrong.  Below sorrow there is only deadly silence.  Thus
bringing people up to being able to feel and communicate sorrow freely
is a major auditing action.  Sorrow is actually much too high for some
people.  Many people feel like a rock when they lose something.  When
they lose something they don't feel sad, they feel solid.

     'Locate a moment of a loss causing you to feel solid'

     Anger is an effort to attack.

     Guilt is apology for Anger gone wrong.

     Regret is the effort to turn back time.

     Fear is an effort to run away.

     Despair is can't run away.

     Sorrow is an effort to call for help.
 
     Apathy is an effort to give up.

     Sorrow is the last tone where the person is still trying to DO
something about his condition rather than just let things as they are
flush him down the toilet.

     Thus the recovery of sorrow from a case, is probably the make break
point of whether the case gets better or not.  Once he can feel sorrow
again he is alive and functioning, and can probably solo most of his own
case from there on out.

     Remember that sorrows are about FOREVER (in time), and it is his
involvement in FOREVERS and NEVERS that are the core of his case.

     A person who can feel sorrow at will is in very good shape.  That
means he is above sorrow on the tone scale and needs to run his fear,
and anger and murderous rage secondaries next.  You can always feel the
tone levels below your own chronic stuck tone.  If all you can feel is
nothing, or apathy, then that places you well down below sorrow on the
tone scale.

     That means you are trying to survive by NOT DOING ANYTHING about
it.  Such a person will approach his auditing in the same manner as his
stuck chronic tone.

     He will pay you for it, he will sit down in front of your chair, he
will hold the cans, he will answer your questions, but it's all a
facade, down deep he won't be doing anything about it, so of course he
makes no case gain.  THIS then is the first address to the case.
Getting him to DO something about it.  The ability to feel sorrow and
cry and laugh a few tears is a good sign.

     Of course we are talking here about people who are in really bad
shape.  You find someone in good shape, and he may need a few antagonism
incidents to be run before he goes back out and conquers the world.  But
why audit him?  He probably can audit himself, and besides he should be
auditing others.

     The truth is though that EVERYONE is down below sorrow on some
subject no matter how well they are apparently doing in life.  They
wouldn't be here on Earth if it weren't so.

     So this material applies to everyone.

     OK, enough said, let's get on with this.

     Sorrows (secondaries of any kind) charge up engrams.

     Later sorrows charge up earlier engrams.

     The earliness of the engram is matched by the lateness of the
sorrow.

     The fact that you MUST go into past lives to find the earlier
engram on most cases, brings up the interesting possibility that you
MUST also go into LATER lives to find the later sorrow.

      This is not meant to be magic or some kind of hocus pocus about
the future.  People have as much attention on losses that they WILL
suffer in the future as they do on losses they have suffered in the
past.

      Even if your meatball doesn't 'believe' in past or future
lives, I quite assure you that if he did, he would be worried stuff
about losses in all of them.

     It's fine to have a billion more lovers in a billion more future
lives, but they are ALL going to die and rip your heart out, everyone.

     There is more charge on loss in an endless possible future than in
the finite past that the being has been around in this time stream.  The
charge is so intense that many just succumb to becoming meatalls, live
once, die once and good riddance to everyone and all.

     Childhood is FILLED with sorrow charge on losses that have not
happened yet, but surely will.

     First awareness of death and permanent losses starts this going.

     Run preciousness, uniqueness and fragility to stir up sorrows
along the whole track.

     "There could never be another one, therre will never be
another one, and I can only have this one for a while..."

     If that doesn't get them looking at their sorrow chains square in the
eye, go find another preclear to audit who can still feel and give a damn.

     Watch out for the "But it's natural to live once and die forever,
who can feel bad about that?"

     You do not want them in your life.

     A cage for asp vipers, perhaps...

     So looking for a moment of loss in childhood is a waste of time,
because its "nothing there" no matter how much he lost, but look in
childhood for a moment of awareness of FUTURE loss in childhood, and
away you go if you audit his PRESENT feelings about that future loss yet
to happen.

     You got secondary charge on things that ain't lost yet, got it?

     To start it running and crying, get the idea of how it will be on
the last day with whatever will be lost, even if they are still alive
and well now.

     Start with pets your preclear still adores.

     "How will it be on the last day with your cat?"

     So much for the 'can't cry case'.

     Then work it back to first awareness that one day mommy would be no
more.  Problem is he may not like mommy any more, so that charge line is
complicated by anger and guilt, sympathy alernating with no sympathy
until he has refused to feel anything any more on her.

     You can get any preclear to contact emotion on future losses,
sometimes more easily than you can get him to contact emotion on past
losses.  This is because LATER emotion runs easier than earlier emotion,
even if that later emotion is later than now!

     I am not trying to get into a long winded discussion about whether
the future or the past is real in the same sense that now is real, or
whether a preclear can actually run out the sorrow from a future loss
before it happens.  Perhaps he is only running out his present sorrow
about the future loss.  But I wouldn't limit this with ideas, I would
just run the incident.

     When the future loss finally does happen, there will be MUCH less
charge on it if all the past charge on the fact that the lass WILL
happen is already long run out.

     If you find a case that is totally stuck running dianetic
incidents, you might be amazed how much charge can be stirred up by
running future and present incidents.  The present is often one, long,
ongoing engram or loss to your preclear, so you would HAVE to run some
of that incident into the future to get its ending!

     You don't have to wait until an engram is over to run it, and if it
is going on in present time, then clearly its end is in the future, and
when you tell the preclear to experience it from beginning to end, you
are telling him to run some of it in the future.

     People treat the future as something they wish wouldn't happen.
They will try to run their 'future' engrams and secondaries, in an
effort to avoid them ever happening.  This might be valid, but is not
necessarily the primary purpose of running 'whole track', which includes
future track, which is to release charge so when and if the future loss
does happen, most of the charge on it will already be run out.

     Charge is accumulated over time.  Everytime your preclear thinks
about mommy dying one day in 40 years he lays down another layer
of charge.  Say he lays down 10 pounds of charge every year on
mother's death who is presently alive and well.

     So in 40 years when she actually dies, he is carrying 400 pounds
of charge on it, and trying to run the incident at the time of death
will be a nightmare, NO ONE can confront that much charge.

     But say he runs out each years charge as it accumulates,
then when she finally dies, he's only the last year's charge to
run out.

     10 pounds of charge he can run out, weep his eyes out,
and have a happy wake after the funeral.

     400 pounds of charge, and he won't cry a tear, he will turn
a whiter shade of pale, and be dead himself pretty soon and the
wake will be for him!

     Probably the Earth will fall into the Sun one day no matter what
anyone does.  Our present civilization will come and go regardless of
the auditing that takes place.  You will have bodies and lives, children
and lovers, and they will all die of something or other no matter what
you do.

      This universe treats labors of love like the ocean treats sand
castles in the sand.

      Cry about them being swept away, BEFORE you build them, you see?

     Get their entire cycle of existence, create, survive, destroy, in
the original conception of them, that way YOU are rully responsible for
putting it there, that they will be created, survive for a while and
then be washed or blown away as dust in the wind.

     Charge cannot grow where there is an "I did it!" tagged on the
event.

     People try to create FOREVER in time, which is impossible
as all  things exist in a finite while.

     So they tag the creation with "I created it!", but then they
spend the rest of time trying to keep the creation going forever with
no sense of "I did it!" for the ending of it.

     THUS THEY ALWAYS LOSE.

     If you can say truly "I did it and I want it!" to all three parts of
the cycle of action, then all three of create, survive and destroy
become a win instead of a loss.

     Charge can not stand in the face of wanted wins or wanted losses.

     You can always make another one, precious, unique and fragile, but
the one you made and ended, it will be gone.

     The joke is if you did make another one exactly like the
one you got and want to hold onto, that would be a perfect
duplicate which would cause a vanishment anyhow.

     However vanishment through as-isness or perfect duplication
doesn't cause charge, because the "I did it!" is too strong and
ever present.

     It's not wanting to win or lose that creates charge.

     If you can love the full cycle of action, including attachment to
to your creation, and having your heart ripped out at its inevitable
end, then you can live charge free in action, peace and happiness.

     A God being creates in the mere conception of things, he CAN'T
conceive of creating something that never ends, he just can't
do it.  Only Eternity lasts forever and that's outside of time,
not in a created time while.

     Thus getting the being able to wrap his wits around the entirety of
create, survive and destroy on any creation, will end his attachment to
that creation, and the heart break of losing it, and enable him to keep
on keeping on with new cycles and new whiles forever for free in time,
and then when this time while ends which it will, in an endless number
of future but finite time whiles of his or other's design.

     This also works with creations the preclear is attached to NOT
having around and is heartbroken about having to suffer their being
around, detested things.

     Encompass the while of any creation, adored or abhored, with 'I am
putting this here', and its gone.
 
     Do it partially and it becomes livable.

     It's not enough to take full responsibility for the beginning of
something you love, you have to take full responsibility for the end of
it too.

     "Death and decay are inherent in *ALL* compound things, seek ye
diligently therefore thy salvation." - Lord Buddha

     The only thing that lasts forever is people and peace, but that's
static above time you see.  Anything kinetic, manifested inside of time
gets erased to give you a new slate to create on.

     Thus specific Sabe (kinetic) instantiations of that cat you love so
much will never live on, and you wouldn't want it to even if it could,
for that cat's core need is to manifest anew over and over again but
only for a while each time.

     The general Dura (static) spirit of that being lives forever above
time.  You can co love there forever all you want.
 
     That cat doesn't want to be just ONE precious, unique and fragile
thing in time forever and ever amen, it wants to be MANY DIFFERENT
precious, unique and fragile things, forever for free, don't you see?

     In sabe, ocean and sand castle are two and opposed.

     In Dura, ocean and sand castle are two aspects of the
same one, and exist for each other to complete a full cycle of
action.

     The cycle of action lives for a while in Sabe, in time, but the
CYCLE ITSELF lives forever above time in Dura.

     And anyhow one day that cat may want to manifest as a dog, or a cow
or a girl friend.  You gotta be careful falling in love with cats, they
tend to come back and want to marry you many lives later.

     An infinite future in an infinite number of finite time whiles,
means an infinite number of girl friends to love, and an infinite number
of funerals to attend, and play your favorite closing scene music.

     Have you really had time enough for love yet?

     Is it possible to even conceive of such a thing?

     If so, woe be to you.

     So you see, many of these losses are all up there on the future
whole track no matter what you do about them.  You know this, that's why
you are sad about them NOW, and have been so in the past.  Many of your
sorrows in the past have been about things that haven't even happened
yet but which you know will.

     Most people are looking forward to their future with sorrow
blinders on.

     So there is charge in the past about loss in the future, and there
will be charge in the future about loss in the past (future regrets),
and whether you run out the death of a loved one after it occurs or
before it occurs, it doesn't really matter, because it is all just
charge.

     Especially if you know its going to happen before it does, or even
as a probability that it MIGHT happen.

     So losses in the past and losses in the future along with the
anger, guilt, regret, fear, numb, sorrow and apathy that accompany them
are all part of the whole track.

     You can't change some of this in general.  But you might be able to
run some, if not all, of the sorrow off of these future incidents now,
so that when they happen you will be able to face them with peace,
equanimity and facile rebound.

     People who never think about their own death or the deaths of their
lovers, parents or children are destined to have a hard time of it when
it happens.

     It is socially impolite to remind people of painful things, death,
loss, etc.  so it gets all shut up in the social facade.  'How are you
doing?', 'Just fine, thank you.'

     So nobody runs anything out.

     Everybody alive is on death row and they are saying 'Just fine,
thank you.'

     It would be funny if it weren't so sick.

     Imagine it going a different way.  'How are you doing?' 'Well just
now I am thinking about who is going to die first, me or Jane, I keep
mocking up our last day together, I am walking with her knowing I am
dying and we both know it, and yet she is still all happy about some
flowers she is picking, there is a lot of sorrow on this, I kind of wish
we could die together.' 'Yes I understand, I am the same way, tell me
about it.' 'Well, yap yap yap, sniff sniff, bawl, yap yap...'

     Life might even become decent if people would relate to each other
about life being indecent.

     So making present time the artificial end of the track for your
preclear is of course missing the Eternity of incidents ahead of him
THAT HE IS CHARGED UP ABOUT NOW because he has been making the charge
ever since THEN.

     If you audit only the track that 'has already happened' you will
end up with half a clear.  And that's if you are lucky.  More likely you
will end up with a headache and no case gain.

      So any process can and should be run past, present and future.

      'What conception/birth/assumption has there been?'
      'What conception/birth/assumption is there now?'
      'What conception/birth/assumption will there be?'

      'What death has there been?'
      'What death is there now?'
      'What death will there be?'

      'What problem has there been?'
      'What problem is there now?'
      'What problem will there be?'

      You can run this on any of the Grades: No Communication, Problems,
Overts, Withholds, ARC Breaks, and Make Wrongs.  etc.

     Don't forget past, present and future CO EXCUSED withholds, and
MISSED withholds, and MIS UNDERSTOOD WORDS!

     And of course you run it on engrams, and secondaries, anger, guilt,
regret, fear, numb, sorrow, and apathy, conceptions, deaths, arrivals,
departures, alignments and reversals of peoples, places, things, goals,
opposition goals, terminals, opp terminals, friends and enemies etc.

      Any 'unwanted' violation of Sovereign Desire that the person has
their attention on.

      Anything they wanted to be do have or know, but couldn't.
      Anything they want to be do have or know, but can't.
      Anything they will want to be do have or know, but won't be able
to.

      Anything they didn't want to be do have or know but had to.
      Anything they don't want to be do have or know but have to.
      Anything they won't want to be do have or know but will have to.

     Remember, any condition the being finds himself 'stuck' with, he
put there with Sovereign Desire as a fair chosen barrier in a game.

     Recognition and recovery of the ability to reoperate this
responsibility will blow the condition.

     THIS ITSELF IS A MAJOR WHOLE TRACK PROBLEM OF YOUR PC.

     He had a hard time keeping any game in place because he kept
realizing who set it up, him.  Poof, no Game!

     This is also a major statement which people will at first glibly
accept as probably true, and then reject as outrageously preposterous.
That's a move upstairs.  Don't discourage it.

     The being had to somewhat hide his responsibility for his fair
chosen barriers in order to make sure they persisted and didn't as-is in
the middle of a game.  It's SOOOO embarrassing when that happens, so
your preclear has gone to some lengths to make sure he has no idea who
caused anything, and when he finds out he is going to kill it forthwith,
just to make sure everything stays put.

     However he has gotten more than enough lost in this denial of
responsibility, and the persistence of things has gotten quite out of
hand, to the point that everything persists but him!  (His mortality.)

     Nothing more ridiculous than a thetan worrying about his tombstone
out living him!

     Ever walk down a rocky beach and wonder at the injustice of it all
that the rocks and the waves will out last you?

      MEST which could care less gets to live forever, and you who would
dearly love to live forever, get to die.  Some fun.

     MEST means Matter, Energy, Space and Time.

     So there is a lot of charge on this subject of violations of
Sovereign Desire, a lot of incredibility and 'burn', which will lead to
some serious fireworks during session as you try to run this stuff out
and get at the central postulates denying responsibility at the core of
every chain and every case.

     The ultimate in irresponsibility of course is 'I didn't make it, IT
made me!'

     In fact you will find that many of the barriers that your preclear
is suffering from, he put there so he could not know about other earlier
barriers that he couldn't get away from, vanish, get rid of or as-is.
He is not-ising them to make them look like they are gone because their
persistence has become intolerable to him.

     But many of THOSE prior barriers were put there so that he could
not know about OTHER earlier barriers that he couldn't make STAY AROUND.
By hiding them from himself, or hiding from himself who made them, with
other barriers, especially barriers to looking, he finally managed to
get his original barriers to stay around long enough to have a game.
But that was trillions of years ago, and now he is so buried in
confusion and mass that he can't wait to get out for good, but hasn't
the foggiest idea how to.

     So in the beginning he was too unlimited in his own eyes, so he
limited his eyes so that he couldn't see how unlimited he was.  This
helped him become limited.

     But then he became too limited, and he lost track of how to undo
the limitations he had placed on himself to keep the game going.  (Make
more of them, the way in is the way out.) This SCARED him, he began to
feel it was forever, that he would never get rid of these limitations,
that he would never be able to play certain games again, never see
certain people again, never do certain things again, etc.

     "We will never pass this way again."

     "We will never pass each other again."

     Thus he came to consider that he had suffered a permanent loss, he
even wondered if he really had created the whole thing himself, or if
the universe itself was just designed to do him in.

     His doubts about his responsibility and the basic goodness of the
universe made him feel so bad that he became just SURE that the universe
was bad and he certainly would never have created it that way!

     Doubt is self casting.

     That's because the bad feelings that doubt creates are self
evidencing, they support the conclusion that one is most worried might
be true.

     That's called knowing by emoting, and in the presence of doubt
leads to eternal damnation (for a while).

     Finally he decided that life was indeed a bad thing, and that he
had nothing to do with it, and his lot in life was to endure and suffer
the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.  Shakespeare nailed it.

     "The outrageousness of the mechanics of learning is matched by the
outrageousness of what we have learned." - Adore.

     Once he became limited for good in his own eyes, he limited his
eyes AGAIN so that he couldn't see how limited he was.  This saved him a
tear or two, or so he thought.  But it made him forever unaware of just
how bad things were and how fast and certainly he was sinking into
Spiritual Death.

     His 'safe' solution to life and loss became, 'If looking will do
you no good, then its time to not look'.

      That's THE basic computation on any case, everything else is just a
person's own personal flourish on that one basic theme.

     Case consists entirely of trying to vanish unwanted things through
not-isness, rather than through as-isness.

     Is there any truth that it would better not to know?

     Is there any future that, if you knew it again, would drive you
crazy with fear?

     Is there anything that could kill your body if you were aware of
it?

     Thus when you start a case you are up against a wall of not-is,
not-know, and not-look that the preclear has put in place to pretend he
doesn't have a case.  The case he will HAND you to audit will not be the
case that needs auditing, as his real case doesn't exist yet in the
preclear's eyes.  He wants to die painlessly, and wants his 'case'
handled so that he can do so.

     He thinks his case is keeping him alive so he can continue
to suffer forever.

     Blaming his presence in time forever on his case is a fast way
to make sure his case stays around forever.

     Case persists only to the degree that responsibility for condition
is absent.

     No hell can out last a true confession.

     "Heh, I did it!" follolwed by shit eating grin, followed by Poof!
 
     Gone.

     Your job at the beginning of the case is to get the not-isness off
the case so that he can come up to recognizing that he has a case, a
REAL case, the size of Mt Everest or a super nova, and he really does
want to live forever (outside of time, but not inside of time) and will
anyhow, and that it can be a lot of fun but he got lost along the way
PURPOSEFULLY, and can and might do so again with GREAT competency.

     Once he comes up to realizing this, when you say 'Tell me about
it', he will actually do so rather than give you some long and useless
song and dance about things that have nothing to do with anything.

     That by the way is an accessible pc.

     He certainly won't tell you 'There's nothing there'.

     So there are really two levels of NOT-ISness that have to be
handled on a case.

     The first level of NOT-ISness was used by the preclear to get
barriers to persist.  He limited his lookingness so that he could get
things to stay around.  But then later he couldn't get rid of them any
more and this became intolerable to him.

     The second level of NOT-ISness was used by the preclear to get
these stuck barriers to NOT persist.  He limited his lookingness again
to make things APPARENTLY go away by not looking at them.  Its only an
apparency though, and resulted in the preclear not knowing how bad off
he was.

     So he is twice blinded.

     In both cases the preclear had the postulate that looking was not a
good thing.  In the first case looking made things vanish that he wanted
to persist.  In the second case looking reminded him that things were
persisting that he wanted to vanish but could no longer.

     The second not looking was no longer aware of or able to look at
the first not looking!

     Of course, in the second case, if he had REALLY looked at what he
was upset with, namely vanishment, especially at how he had tried to NOT
look at these things earlier to make them STAY AROUND, he would have
successfully been able to vanish whatever barrier he was upset about.
But he failed to look at his earlier not-looking and his earlier
intention to make things persist and the problems he had with things
vanishing.

     Upsetness about persistence is preceded by upsetness about
vanishment.

     This follows a standard 'staircase' of descent.

     First there is the beauty of vanishment, which is native state.

     Then there is the ugly of vanishment, which is the desire to have a
game.

     Then there is the beauty of persistence, which is the game going
fine.

     Then there is the ugly of persistence, which is the inability to
end the game.

      So he left out a few details in his efforts to look, so his looking
didn't vanish the unwanted item.  So he became ARC Broke with looking
and AS-ISing, and decided that looking was no good AGAIN because it only
showed him how bad off he was without helping him any with it.  So he
decided that he shouldn't look at his unwanted persistences, and chose
instead to pretend that things were all ok again.

      The apparent nonexistence of unwanted persistences arises then
from not looking at not looking.

      Solution to unwanted vanishment was first not looking.

      Solution to unwanted persistence was second not looking.

      Thus your pc has a tremendous number of barriers to his life that
he DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT AND CAN NOT EVEN LOOK AT.

      If you ask him, 'What's there?' he will say, 'There's nothing
there.'

      Thus your pc has walked down what we call the Dichotomy Staircase.

      It goes something like this.

      At first there is the beauty of things not persisting.  This is
freedom.  It is the freedom of never having anything wake you up in the
morning because there is nothing to wake you up and no morning to wake
up into.  It's the Big Snooze of Adore, and the Peace that Passeth All
Understanding of the Christians.

      Then there is the ugly of things not persisting because you want a
game and a game needs something to persist to fight and stop you.

      So then there is the beauty of things persisting.  Good times and
good games.

      But then at the bottom there is the ugly of things persisting
because the game has gotten old or out of hand, and you have forgotten
how to as-is it.

      This can be summarized in the Dichotomy Staircase as follows:

      BEAUTY OF NOT PERSISTING    native state, no game
      UGLY   OF NOT PERSISTING    want a game, no game
      BEAUTY OF     PERSISTING    want a game, have a game
      UGLY   OF     PERSISTING    don't want a game, have a game anyhow.

      Let's make this more specific to see how it might apply.

      1.) BEAUTY OF NOT PERSISTING EVIL
      2.) UGLY   OF NOT PERSISTING EVIL
      3.) BEAUTY OF     PERSISTING EVIL
      4.) UGLY   OF     PERSISTING EVIL

      Your preclear is parked squarely at the bottom of the staircase.
Ask him, '3.) What is the Beauty of Persisting Evil?', and see what he
says if you don't believe me.  He just can't conceive of it.  Yet he HAS
to go up through the staircase to get out the top to the 1.) Beauty of
Not Persisting Evil.  The key of course is the 2.) Ugly of Not
Persisting Evil.  That's where he first decided that it would be nice if
evil persisted.

      IT WAS A DECISION.  HE WANTED IT.  HE WILL DENY THIS, BUT THAT DOES
NOT CHANGE THE FACTS.  A THETAN IN GOOD CONDITION CAN DENY ANYTHING
UNTIL THE COWS COME HOME, PARTICULARLY PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

      And he can deny that he is denying and be completely convinced of
this.

      A thetan would have to be in good condition to conceive the Beauty
of Persisting Evil.

      Denial of personal responsibility is not a quirk or a mistake, it
IS what denial is about.  Denial of personal responsibility is all the
denial there is.

      The choice to deny that a choice was made.

      The choice is always whether to PUT SOMETHING THERE OR NOT.

      THATS how you get things to persist!

      PUTTING THERE THE DENIAL THAT YOU ARE PUTTING SOMETHING THERE.

      PRETENDED NO CHOICE = PERSISTENCE

      You can run this with looking and not looking too, because looking
is the key to AS-ISing, and thus to the vanishment or persistence of any
wanted or unwanted condition.  Just run,

      "Tell me about the,

      BEAUTY OF     LOOKING    (Happy   that things are vanishing)
      UGLY   OF     LOOKING    (Unhappy that things are vanishing)
      BEAUTY OF NOT LOOKING    (Happy   that things are persisting)
      UGLY   OF NOT LOOKING    (Unhappy that things are persisting)'

      This dichotomy staircase can be run on anything of importance to
your preclear.  The classic example is memory, and can be run on anyone
concerned with their memory for this life or past lives.  Or perhaps
they are worried about their memory in their next life for this life!
Future memory is more important than past memory!

      The idea is the same.

      You spend all of this life learning Chopin's 2nd Piano Concerto.
Are you gonna remember it in your next life, or is it going to haunt you
like a ghost in your dreams?

      At first the person is happy to have a good memory.  That's the
beauty of memory.

      Then something happens which he regrets and he tries to nail it out
of existence by turning back time, and out of his memory.  Thus he is
unhappy he has a good memory.  That's the ugly of memory.

      Then after a while he forgets that he has forgotten things and he
is feeling better because he doesn't know about all those bad things any
more, and his conscience is not bothering him any more, and his memory
is in very bad shape and he no longer knows how bad shape his memory is
in, and he is very comfortable with it that way.  That's the beauty of
no memory.

      Then finally he realizes that he has forgotten more than he
intended, and he can't remember anything any more, and can't function in
life very well, and doesn't know where he came from or where he is
going, and can't even remember his basic purpose in life.  Thus he
becomes very unhappy with his non functional memory, but doesn't know
how to get it back because he has FORGOTTEN how!  That's the ugly of no
memory.

      You can run this with "Tell me about the

      BEAUTY OF    MEMORY
      UGLY   OF    MEMORY
      BEAUTY OF NO MEMORY
      UGLY   OF NO MEMORY

      This dichotomy staircase can even be run on things like addictions
where you will find it is actually circular, once the preclear goes off
the bottom he starts at the top again at a lower harmonic.

      Take smoking cigarettes for example.

      At first the person does not smoke and can't imagine ever smoking
and can't figure out why others do.  Most people start off in this state
as children.  That's the beauty of not smoking.

      But then as the years go by, others in his age class start to smoke
and other pressures begin to build which push him in the direction of
smoking, and soon he is really on the outside because he doesn't smoke.
That's the ugly of not smoking.

      So he tries a few cigarettes and begins to like it after a while,
and pretty soon he is smoking regularly and enjoying it.  That's the
beauty of smoking.

      But then later on in life he finds that smoking has sapped some of
his strength and his health, that he smells horrible, that he can't stop
smoking, that he smokes much too much, that it makes him nauseous and
yellows his teeth and fingers.  That's the ugly of smoking.

      So he decides to quit and he stops smoking for a while and begins
to feel better about himself and life and his health, and girls want to
kiss him again etc.  You see, that's the beauty of not smoking all over
again.

      But the craving is always there in the background, especially when
things get rough, or he gets nervous, or has to talk to someone
important, or maybe its time to get executed, and the anxiety begins to
build, and so there are these subtle pressures still pushing him to
smoke again.  That's the ugly of not smoking once more.

      Why do you think they offer a cigarette to a man about to be
executed?  It calms the nerves.  It numbs them dead, actually.  How many
engrams do you have of being shot in front of a firing squad with a
cigarette in your mouth and a blindfold on?  But it doesn't take
anything this severe to get the craving for a cigarette going again,
having to talk to the boss or a pretty girl is quite enough.

      It's pretty much the same thing to some people, NON SURVIVAL.

      So one day he gives in and smokes a cigarette and feels really good
for a few moments, and he goes in and handles his boss or talks to that
pretty girl who makes him nervous as hell, and things work out alright.
That's the beauty of smoking again.

      But then the craving won't leave him alone and he begins smoking
all the time again, and he develops a smoker's cough, and all his
friends leave him alone and don't want him in their apartment or their
car, and his daughter won't talk to him because he stinks to high hell,
or maybe he falls asleep one night with a cigarette in his hand and he
burns his house to the ground.  And there's the ugly of smoking one more
time.

      So he decides to stop again, and he is back at the beauty of not
smoking.

      Around and around we go.  Each cycle through he is putting more and
more force into not smoking, into smoking, into not smoking, into
smoking etc.  There is no as-ising of the beauty and ugly cycle going
on, even though it IS going on.

      All addictions and attachments follow this pattern.

      But the primary addiction of course is to First Hellos and Last
Good-byes, to being alone and being unalone.

      Thus you could run, 'Tell me about the

      BEAUTY OF BEING ALONE
      UGLY   OF BEING ALONE
      BEAUTY OF BEING UNALONE
      UGLY   OF BEING UNALONE

      This one cycle is possibly on the basic chain of why your preclear
created a universe with other people in it in the first place and has
now come to rue all of its inhabitants.  He can't kick them out, because
he has lost sight of letting them in and making sure they STAYED in.

      So when you approach running secondaries and engrams you are
handling the hottest charge on the case that there is, all the way to
the end of time, and all the way back to the beginning of time.  The
Last Decision and the First Decision.

      You can even run the Dichotomy Staircase on Decision.

      'Tell me about the,

      BEAUTY OF NOT MAKING DECISIONS
      UGLY   OF NOT MAKING DECISIONS
      BEAUTY OF     MAKING DECISIONS
      UGLY   OF     MAKING DECISIONS
      (followed by the top again at a lower harmonic.)'

      I will let you work out the little story that might go along with
this stair case, as we and everyone else in existence is parked many
harmonics down from the first entrance into the staircase at the
decision to decide and the decision TO BE HERE NOW.

      Don't even think of starting this program of processes unless you
plan to carry it through to an interstellar win.

      Be prepared for your pc to go super nova on you.

      If you are not prepared, your preclear will wonder if you know what
you are doing.  This will cause him to fail to complete cycle on the
release and it will be hell to audit later.

      So this thing about engrams and secondaries is important.  The
reason that dianetic cases don't run, and the reason that others in the
past have had such a hard time with this, is they missed a few facts
about Dianetic incidents.

      1.) Engrams run from early to late.  Secondaries run from late to
early.

      2.) A pc's case is centered around NOW.  Engrams BEFORE now are
charged up by secondaries AFTER now.

      3.) Engrams in the past may have charge on them in the future when
the injury or loss is finally regretted.

      4.) Secondaries in the future may have charge on them in the past
when you first became aware of the possible or impending loss.

      Thus going for the first moment of actual loss will miss the
earlier beginning when he first became aware that the loss would happen
or could happen at all.  Most losses get charged up while they are still
FUTURE losses.

      Losses that are unexpected, get charged up earlier to the degree
that the person is generally aware of the potential for unexpected
losses.  If a loss is really and truly unexpected, why then the moment
of the loss is the moment you have to run.  But even an actual loss
(death of mommy), may lay on a chain of losses (death of mommies) that
goes far into the future.  Thus an actual death of mommy may refuse to
run out until the pending future deaths of all future mommies are also
run out, and then past mommies.

      Without engrams, sorrows won't STICK to you.  The losses won't
build up and accumulate on you.

      This doesn't mean you won't ever get sad or cry, but such incidents
are self erasing in the experiencing of them.

      This is what CLEAR is about.

      A clear can and will go down tone freely into sorrow at a loss, but
he will rebound completely.

      A clear is FACILE with rebound.

      Someone with engrams will never come back to where he was on the
tone scale after a sorrow, and with each sorrow he ratchets further and
further down the tone scale 'permanently'.

      People with engrams are sinking ships, even if it is too slow to
notice.  The sinking takes place over many lifetimes.

      This is because each sorrow throws the person down tone into the
area of his engrams, almost all of which are unknown and unconfronted.
Thus the person dramatizes on the present time sorrow what he dramatized
on the engram, which was to find it *PAINFUL*, unbearable and
unconfrontable.  The not-is and alter-is on the engram carries over to
the sorrow, and so the present secondary incident is not fully
expressed, cried, acknowledged, admired and therefore run out.

      What is there to admire about sorrow you ask?

      Sorrow is love in mourning.  The deeper the sorrow, the
deeper the love.

      When God cries a tear, the oceans move.

      Sorrow doesn't hurt.  The PAIN of sorrow is always the underlying
engram.

      Most of our secondaries are other people's engrams.  And most of
our engrams are other people's secondaries.

      Say your dog gets run over by a car.  That's your sorrow, and his
engram.  Or your mother dies.  That's your sorrow and her engram.  Or
you die.  That's your engram and your mate's sorrow.

      So keep in mind that you should also be running multiple viewpoint
dianetics.  That means when your preclear gets an engram, part of that
engram is a recording of everyone else's secondary over the matter.  And
when he gets a secondary, part of that secondary is often a recording of
someone else's engram.

      Not all secondaries are caused by other's engrams.  Some boy can
just leave you for the floozie down the street.  But engrams in others
often cause them to 'leave' you.  The death of my mother caused her to
leave me.  So her death engram caused a secondary in me.

      My mother by the way died by falling off a cliff into a gorge.  She
probably spent some time wondering if anyone was going to come looking
for her and find her.  We did look, with dogs, police, and helicopters,
but never found her.  Her body was found 1 month later by a couple of
kids playing in the gorge.

      Needless to say, part of running this incident with multiple
viewpoint dianetics would include getting the kid's viewpoint when they
found her body.  Bloated, bugs and all.

      Probably ought to run this incident from the bug's viewpoint too.

      Yum!

      And the viewpoint of the river and the rocks and the grass and the
wind.

      And all the screaming disincarnates, 'Here she is, here she is!"
which we could not hear.

      Anyhow, life survives within a very narrow band of tolerance.  Life
is motion and depends on motion for its survival.  That is called
optimum randomity.  Not too much and not too little.

      An engram is a moment of too much motion or too little motion.

      You can burn to death, or you can freeze to death.

      EVERY ENGRAM IS A MOMENT OF TOO MUCH OR TOO LITTLE.

      Secondaries are the same way.

      A secondary is a loss, a loss of optimum IS-NESS.

      Too much or too little MOTION or KIND OF MOTION.

      Even a loss of space, which itself does not have motion leads to
too much room to move or not enough room to move, and thus results in an
engram or secondary.

      'Has there been too much of something?'
      'Has there been too little of something?'

      'What TOO MUCH has there been?'
      'What TOO MUCH is there?'
      'What TOO MUCH will/may there be?'

      'What TOO LITTLE has there been?'
      'What TOO LITTLE is there?'
      'What TOO LITTLE will/may there be?'

      If an engram hangs up and won't run, you might ask,

      'Is this a moment of TOO MUCH or TOO LITTLE?'

      Sometimes its both.  Here's some poor guy dying of starvation in a
concentration camp during World War II.  This is a very long and drawn
out engram of TOO LITTLE food, water, nourishment etc.  It has
tremendous drama associated with it; people fighting over food, people
turning each other in for food, people operating the ovens for food,
people eating things they would NEVER eat, etc.

      So you are trying to run this engram out of this guy and it won't
run.  You run it and run it and run it and it just bogs down and won't
move.  You know its a death engram, he died at the end of the
starvation.  So you assess on the meter, 'TOO MUCH?  TO LITTLE?
expecting 'too little food' to read.  But TOO MUCH reads!

      So you ask him if there was a moment of too much in the incident.
And suddenly he recalls that about 20 minutes away from dying of
STARVATION, while he was lying there on the ground in 'useless .03' on
the tone scale, some officer came over and kicked him a few times in the
side really hard to see if he was still alive.  When the pc didn't
respond, the officer shot him through the head calling him a useless
scum.

      So he didn't die of starvation after all!  He died of getting shot.
And that of course is a TOO MUCH engram at the end of a TOO LITTLE
engram.  Once you got that, the engram revivifies, the postulates come
off and the charge erases and you can get on with the case.

      Sorrows are the same way, either TOO MUCH or TOO LITTLE.

      Being imprisoned or enslaved is a TOO MUCH incident.  Having a
friend depart, die or reverse on you is a TOO LITTLE incident.  Being
stuck with an enemy or an opp term is a TOO MUCH incident.

      Thus Ron talked about death, departures and reversals as the
primary cause of secondaries.  That's for friends.  For enemies it's
births, arrivals and alignments.

      This makes a little table you can use for finding secondaries.

                      FRIENDS      FOES
                      ----------   ----------
                  -   deaths       births      -
      TOO LITTLE  |   departures   arrivals    |  TOO MUCH
                  -   reversals    alignments  -

      A reversal by the way is when someone who is your friend reverses
on you and becomes your enemy.  An alignment is when someone who is your
enemy becomes your friend.  You might wonder how that could be a loss,
but the loss of an enemy can be the loss of a game.  The day we all
become friends, will be the saddest day there is, because it will be
time to say good bye for a new game.

      Thus whether you are running sorrows or engrams, you are always
running too much of something or too little of something.  The body
needs optimum IMPACT and IMPINGEMENT to survive.  A dianetic incident is
ALWAYS TOO MUCH IMPACT or TOO LITTLE IMPACT which causes lessened
survival, pain, unconsciousness, near death, and death.

      Remember you are an eternal being, so death is a valid engram.  In
fact body death engrams are just another engram on the chain of body
engrams.  They are however the most serious.

      (There are immortal (forever in time) engrams which are more
serious, death was invented to escape them).

      So if you refuse to run body death engrams from past lives, you may
never get to basic on the chain of your present life engrams, and you
may never blow the chain.

      Only a body death engram from a past (or future!) life can be
severe enough to make you feel like you are dying now.  Unless of course
you ARE dying (eating radium, getting shot etc.) But if you think it is
psychosomatic, and you feel like you are dying, then look to the time
you did or WILL die to run it out.

      Sorrows about FUTURE dying charge up past engrams of body death.

      Remember also that SOMETIMES the being did die in this life as a
baby perhaps during birth or afterwards, but ressurected the body
anyhow, so the death engram is this life!

      Running past deaths can lead into some pretty strange stuff,
because before your involvement with bodies you had a lot of track
without bodies as you know them now.

      You might also run into an area of the track called FRAGILE
IMMORTALITIES.  These were societies that lasted for a very long time,
and beings WERE immortal (lived forever in time), even in bodies, but
the bodies were FRAGILE.  That meant you would live forever as long
as....  You fill in the blank.

      This was a really strange situation, because the being and body
would live forever as long as they weren't damaged, but if the body got
killed, the being died FOREVER also, because the being WAS the body, or
so he and everyone else thought.

      Punishments for crimes, whether accidental or intentional in this
area were extreme.  They could torture you forever without killing you,
and this is possibly a basic on the chain of the present day Christian
idea of Eternal Hell.

      The sorrows in this area were also extreme, because beings COULD
live forever and often did live for a very very long time.  Then
something stupid would happen, and they would get killed, or they would
kill themselves, and this was a major loss of something that 'could have
been permanent.'

      Today on Earth we all know we are going to die one day anyhow, so
some people take on the view, 'who cares if we kill someone early, he is
just going to die anyhow.' Usually such people run for office.

      This was unthinkable during the fragile immortality days on the
whole track.

      So someone who is trying to go clear has some charge to face.

      This charge is in the past, in the present and in the future.  You
have as much charge ahead of you in the future as you do in the past, so
you really need to run this out with an eye to the WHOLE TRACK, meaning
both past, present and future.

      When you are trying to clear someone you want the FIRST engram and
the LAST secondary.

      The first engram is probably somewhere around the beginning of this
universe or this chain of universes.  The last secondary is probably
around the end of this universe or chain of universes, maybe the day
everyone is packing up to leave this theater of the absurd and saying
'Bye!' to each other.

      Most people are so low tone, they want to get out of this universe
so bad, they just can't figure why anyone would be sad about the day we
all go back to Native State.  But there it is, it's a 'Last Good-bye' of
magnitude.

      So who knows how it will really be on that last day, but your
preclear will have something to say about it, and FEEL about it, so you
had better let him, or he just won't get better.

      NO feeling, NO case gain.

      If you don't run out the future charge now, you will suffer that
charge if and when it happens up the time stream a bit, just as you are
still suffering the charge from your past that you didn't run back then.

      Why wait for the incident to happen before you run it out?  What
with inflation, who knows what the cost of auditing will be then.

      If you run these future losses out now, which is what going clear
is all about, then your future will be more like an EXPERIENCE rather
than a SENTENCE.

      And while you are word clearing the word CLEAR, word clear
FACILE REBOUND while you are at it, ok?

      You will also regain your ability to CHOOSE to be or not be in that
future, or any future at all, at will.

      The key is to run the engrams from early to late, and the sorrows
from late to early.  Remember that the later sorrows charge up the
earlier engrams which cause a 'permanent' lowering of tone.

      With out the underlying engrams, sorrows are self erasing, and are
actually an aesthetic and desirable expression of 'First' Hellos and
'Last' Good-byes.

      Sorrow is love in reverse, going away rather that coming together.

      When you get about half way to clear, your case begins to mimic
this self erasing phenomenon of the clear.  You see some sad movie, and
some tremendous sorrow turns on, and you cry it out without restraining
it or feeling embarrassed, and then the underlying engrams turn on with
shooting pains, BT's turn on, you say hello to them, and all sorts of
stuff, and then the thing begins to lift and you end up higher in tone
than before.

      Most people when they see a sad movie, keep it all to themselves,
overwhelmed by the 'permanency' of it all, and they end up lower tone.
Or maybe they cry a lot during the movie, but the sorrow is so
overwhelming that they don't look to the later and earlier sorrows, so
they end up feeling rotten or 'all choked up' afterwards, and they end
up another step down in the tone scale of life.

      Choked up comes from trying to choke back the wailing.

      Mommy liked quiet dolls in her crib that didn't express their true
feelings about the AllThatIs.

      Or worse they get scared by the engrams turning on from the sorrows
running off, and they go to a doctor every time a new pain turns on.

      Suppressed love will kill you, doctors will not cure you.

      A lot of people are so low tone they can't feel anything at all.
They can't cry at will, they can't laugh at will, they can't get angry
at will, so they go out and get 'entertained'.  That means 'made to
feel emotion by others who are higher toned.'

      There is nothing wrong with entertainment, it is the purpose of
life after all, but you can get BELOW being able to entertain others
and yourself, at which point it all becomes an inflow, 'You had better
entertain ME or else!' Below that it becomes a hysterical search for
interesting things to do, to see, feel, hear, taste, smell, experience
that never leave any lasting impression after they are over.  There is
no lasting fulfillment at that level.  Eventually NOTHING entertains
them anymore, and their every move is desperation.

      They BECOME entertainment to the Gods.

      There is nothing so humorous to a God as a desperate man.

      When you go Clear you will understand this, as you will BE that God
laughing at the desperate man he was.  A God who chose, for the longest
time, to be a victim.

      So let the victim's scream for yet a while, they too will win their
way back home with your help.

      Remember the way to end any problem, including other's suffering,
is to MAKE MORE OF IT and get THEM to make more of it.  That restores
control over it, and thus it can be stopped either by you or them.

      The problem is not knowing any more HOW to make more of it.

      Make more of the not knowing, however many levels it takes.

      The man who can heal with a thought, can kill with a thought, and
the joke is he heals with a thought BY killing with a thought, meaning
he makes the bad situation MORE and WORSE (not by much) and then lets
go, and it releases.  Once he can make it, he can let go of it.  So the
first effort of any healer is to make more of what he is trying to heal.

      You can remove what you can PUT THERE.

      The way to guarantee that any problem persists forever is to go on
a hysterical crusade to STOP IT NOW BEFORE IT GETS ANY WORSE.

      That is why sorrows are self erasing to a Clear, they don't get
locked into the seriousness or 'permanency' of the loss.  And they don't
allow past track non confronts and overwhelms of too much or too little
force and impact (engrams) to spill over into how they handle the
present sorrow, loss or secondary.

      They also make sure to run out all new engrams as they happen, so
as not to give their sorrows any non confront to stick to.

      You can't lose anything you didn't make.  If you lose it, why
grieve, just make another, and then make more spaces, times, people,
places, and things, to take it away from you.

      Better yet grieve too, sorrow is love is sorrow is love.

      Beautiful sorrow is sorrow free from delusions of permanency.

      When you can see that one, you will be fully Clear.  Possibly more
Clear than anyone on the planet at this time.

      Saying Good-bye doesn't last forever, why should grief?

      Grief is saying Good-bye.  Good-byes are followed by Good Hellos.

      A Clear knows this.  He can live life without repression of
feeling.

      A child knows that when mommy goes to the store, mommy returns a
while later.

      A clear knows that when someone dies, they will meet FOREVER at the
apex of their beings, the native state of Dura, and they will certainly
meet again on a future Ball Floor of hell in Sabe.

      The REAL LOSS is that you DIDN'T cry and say Good-bye in a way that
all could know.

      Not crying when someone dies or leaves you is like not telling them
that you love them when you do.

      An aberree restrains his new Hellos after a Good bye.  It's just
too painful to make new friends if he is just going to lose them in the
end anyway.

      Ever lose a dog and swear off ever having another one?

      Thus he has less and less of things to love and things to lose.  He
finds this a necessary safe solution to his sorrow.  To him the pain of
sorrow (the underlying engrams and his final mortality!) is just too
much to bear, but his tone sinks with each lessening of his sphere of
control and lessening of ever new Hellos.

      He doesn't want to tell his new Hello's about his last Good-byes.
It might bring them down, they aren't clear either.

      So he keeps it all to himself, and becomes afraid of Good-byes AND
Hellos.

      Pretty soon you find him saying his Last Good-byes to people he
hasn't even said his First Hellos to yet, just to get it done and over
with.  Thus he suffers ALL of his last Good-byes BEFORE he has any First
Hellos, and so the next time, when he does find a new friend, he's too
low tone to appreciate him.

      (That's fine, as long as he RUNS OUT THE LAST GOOD BYE before he
meets them, and doesn't run it IN through non confront, contraction and
denial of EXPRESSION.

       Probably the only difference between running something in and
running something out is willingness to experience what is being run.)

      Pretty soon he has no friends at all because 'they're all dead'.
He hasn't even met them yet!

      You see NO REBOUND.

      Running out the loss before it happens allows for facile rebound
when it does happen, and in fact allows for full responsibility for
operating when, where and how it happens.

      Why wait in fear for the moment of death, choose it and cause it,
and help others do the same.

      People who don't think they chose the moment of birth are living at
effect out of the gate, and thus they won't chose their moment of death
either.

      Your preclear is trying to steel himself against the inevitable
loss of his connection to another, some time in the future, by breaking
the connection now.  He wants his sorrow to be on his own self
determinism, rather than wait for the mean cold universe to do it to him
at some unpredictable time in the future.

      Self determinism is more important than anything.  Since mortals
have so little of it in their own view, they do the strangest things to
maintain as much of it as possible, including killing themselves before
something else, WHICH THEY 'DIDN'T CHOOSE', can do it for them.

      So he says Good-bye to people before he says Hello.

      At least that way he killed his heart and his love with his own
hand.

      A CLEAR has a different view.  Hellos and Good-byes are just
another step in the dance of life.  That's because there ARE no FIRST
Hellos, there ARE no LAST Good-byes, and a Clear doesn't ever get into
the finality or permanency of it all, because it just ain't true.

      (Hellos and good-byes are the warp and woof of Sabe, they are not
part of Dura.

      And Sabe is only for a while.

      In Dura, there is only the High-US, forever above time.)

      Thus a 'Last' Good-bye to a Clear is ALWAYS AU REVOIR.

      ("Je te revoir", I will see you again.)

      And a 'First' Hello to a Clear is ALWAYS 'See, I told you so!'

      Once you declare a meeting as a 'First' Hello, you open the door
for a 'Last' Good-bye.  This is because a First Hello implies that in
all of Eternity you have never met this fellow before, not even when you
were all snoozing together in Native State.

      Clearly if you WERE separated for all of past eternity before now,
until now, then you have come together for the first time.  But if you
have come together for the first time now, then you can go apart and
never meet each other again for the second half of Eternity after now.

      The game then becomes to see 'How long can we stay together.'

      You ALWAYS lose in the end.

      Winning becomes staying together FOREVER (in time).

      This violates the finite WHILE in which created things exist.

      You either have always known each other forever (Ex Temporally), or
one day you certainly will lose each other forever.

      It is YOUR (false) postulate that 'we just met, in all of past
Eternity, we have NEVER known each other before' that opens the door to
the possibility that separation can occur.  You CAN be separated in the
future because you WERE separated in the past.  If you CAN be separated,
then you WILL be separated again, given enough time and chance.

      Eternity is infinite both before now and after now.  There has been
an infinite amount of existence before now, and an infinite amount of
existence after now.  It may not all be in one universe or time stream
as they are always finite whiles.  And there may be lots and lots of Big
Snooze time in Native State, but one Eternity is into the past and one
Eternity is into the future.

      If you WERE separated for an ETERNITY in the past, until you met
just now, then you CAN be separated for an ETERNITY in the future.

      If there is a finite probability of something occurring, then given
an infinite amount of time, it is sure to happen.  Thus if there is a
probability that you can be separated again in the future, then you can
be sure that given enough time you WILL be separated, possibly forever.

      What you postulate about your future is affected by what you have
postulated about your past.  That's why your past is so important to
you, its because it shows you what your future can and may be like.

      You wouldn't give a damn about your past if it didn't say something
about your future.

      You wouldn't need to 'go Clear', you wouldn't be carrying your bank
around with you in full restimulation if your future were unrelated to
your past.  You WOULD be clear.  A clear is someone whose future is not
related to his past!

      The only reason past losses and sorrows hang around and charge up
the engram bank is because the past loss implies future loss.  The past
is dead.  The future is active.  Your whole case hangs up and is kept
alive by your PRESENT TIME anger, guilt, regret, fear, numb, sorrow and
apathy about the future.

      Cause is in the present, there is no cause affecting you from the
past.

      That is why auditing the past is a waste of time except to get at
the postulates you made about your future!  And all of those postulates
are here right now in present time with you, keeping all your damn
engrams in full restimulation!

      WHAT is in restim is the PAST (facsimiles).
      HOW it is in restim is in the PRESENT.
      WHY it is in restim is the FUTURE.

      So really all you got to do is open your eyes and look ahead down
the time stream into the future to find out the points of charge that
are keeping you overwhelmed.

      "How does your endless future seem to you now?"

      Run repetitively to E/P.

      E/P: "Fine."

      The PRIMARY postulates you made in the past that affected your
future were postulates of FIRST HELLOS.  First Hellos in the past imply
Last Good-byes in the future.  They both hinge on total irresponsibility
for the Hello and Good-bye.

      A Last Good-bye is a loss, which is a secondary and charges up your
engrams.  But a First Hello is a loss too, its a gain of something YOU
DIDN'T HAVE AND DIDN'T KNOW YOU DIDN'T HAVE.

      A First Hello is a DIDN'T HAVE.

      A Last Good-bye is a WON'T HAVE.

      Both are DON'T GOTS!

      There is actually more LOSS charge on the FIRST HELLO than there is
on the Last Good bye.  This is because it is an enormous violation of
Sovereign Responsibility to run into someone or something that you
didn't know existed.  That's THE ARC Break!

      All surprise is a loss to an Omni Sovereign being, especially if he
doesn't remember that he set these surprises up.  The first surprise he
ran into that he thought he had nothing to do with, was a real burn to
him.

      However once the being buries the bad feelings about running into
someone he never knew about, especially if he loves her, he will forget
his ARC Break with meeting someone he didn't know, and try to make the
best of things, which means playing the game of 'How long can we stay
together?!'

      "Til death do us part".

      Oh that's a happy day all right.

      Thus he looks forward to the inevitable day of Last Good-bye,
whether it be death of old age, or the Earth falling into the Sun, or
the Galaxy falling into a Black Hole, or the Universe returning to State
Zero.

      The CHARGE on the Last Good-bye comes from the charge on the First
Hello and the surprise and violation of Sovereign Responsibility and
Desire which that entailed.

      He THINKS he is resisting the last Good bye, and in deed he will
resist it to his last breath, but the real resistance is to the First
Hello.

      To solve his last good byes, he will SEEK new first hellos, but no
matter how many he finds, if he finds any, new first hellos will never
fill the hole left by a last good bye, and in fact will make them worse.

      No future first hello will EVER heal a past last good bye, but
merely creates a new last good bye in the future.

      If you want to run out the death of mommy run out the First Hello
to mommy in this life and all past and future lives.

      Being able to handle First Hellos and Last Good-byes almost defines
a clear, and certainly handles the comings and goings of too much of
things and too little of things.

      Thus a Clear doesn't stay charged up.

      Homer

      ADDENDUM

      So what are you looking for in all this auditing of secondaries and
engrams?

      You want the POSTULATE that the person made during the incident.

      Rather than confront and as-is the incident as it happened, the
person makes a negative postulate about life, which justifies shutting
out that incident and which solidifies his new negative view on life.

      FUTURE LIFE.

      He carries around this negative view on future life, and this
causes the engram to stay in chronic restimulation.

      When you get the postulate at the center of the engram, the
incident will revivify completely and run out.  If the incident reviv's
first, make sure you get the postulate, or you will just be giving him
'another engram' in which he once again re makes and re affirms his
negative postulate.

      What is a negative postulate?

      Here is an example from my own case.

      BACKGROUND:

      Life is a game.  Games have rules.  Penalties (pain) are assigned
for breaking the rules.  Aberrated people have also made sure that
penalties are assigned for losing the game even if you play by the
rules.

      For example, the penalties for stealing food when you are hungry
are severe.  But the penalties of not being able to find food are severe
too, you starve to death.  You get pain either way.

      Cheating is the effort to win the game of life by breaking the
rules.

      POSTULATE: The penalties for losing the game are worse than the
penalties for breaking the rules and being caught.

      Therefore it is better to break the rules, and to hell with honor,
decency and fair play.

      Others are cheating at the game too, causing me to lose unfairly,
therefore it is only fair that I cheat too, because it's not fair if I
suffer the penalties of losing the game when I am playing fairly if
others are cheating.

      Actually its not really fair that I suffer the TERMINAL penalties
of losing the game while playing fairly, even if other's ARE playing
fairly too.

      That's because it's unfair that a game exists where the penalties
of losing are worse than the penalties of cheating.  So I would rather
take my risks stealing than starve to death.  At worst they will catch
me, put me in jail, and FEED me.  Sounds good to me.

      In other words, honor, decency and fair play follow a lesser master
than personal survival at all costs.  It's the way of all mortals.

      Such a postulate made during a very heavy engram, especially during
an engram where you perceive that others are cheating, and whom you
blame for getting the engram, will cause the engram to stay in full
restimulation as long as you carry its fundamental postulate along with
you.

      This is because 1.) the postulate was made on the time track IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE ENGRAM, and also because the engram is needed to continue
the justification of the overt acts of YOU cheating that lead from the
postulate.

      The being has to continuously remind himself of why he is right, To
Be a Master Scoundrel.

      The basic service fac computation that goes along with this is,

      'There is nothing I can LOOK at that will help me enhance my own
survival with regard to this matter.  Therefore there is no sense in
looking any more, it just reminds me of how bad things are, and clearly
cheating is more advantageous than honor, decency and fair play.'

      EVERY engram and secondary that still needs to be run out has a
negative postulate about life in the center of the engram or secondary.

      How do we know?  Because the engram or secondary is still there to
run out.  It is the negative postulate in the center of the engram or
secondary that WAS the justification for the act of NOT-ISing the
incident.  The incident won't AS-IS until you get the postulate, and
when you get the postulate and AS-IS that, the incident will AS-IS.

      Why?  Because the postulate SAYS that life is not worth LOOKING AT,
it hurts too much.  Not looking at something is NOT-ISing it, which is
the opposite of AS-ISing it, and that which is not AS-ISed persists.

      Cheating is the effort to live life by not looking at it.

      The pain of the engram or secondary confirms the truth of the
negative postulate to the preclear.

      Negative postulates come in chains, there are many engrams and
secondaries hung on any one postulate, wherein the pc re-made or
reaffirmed the truth of his negative consideration about life.

      The chain of incidents hung on ONE POSTULATE is more important than
the chain of incidents hung on one attitude, emotion, sensation or pain.
In other words if the chain you are going down is NOT a chain of one
postulate or constellation of postulates, then that chain won't erase.
You won't reach basic, because with each new incident you go back to on
the chain, you are jumping chains to a new POSTULATE CHAIN!  This causes
everything to be restimulated and nothing to get erased.

      (Reference ACT-23 "Basic Basic on the Chain of Chains")

      Homer

Tue Jan 13 12:43:14 EST 2015