THE SERVICE FAC AND I CANT.

      The constellation of Service Facsimile computations on a case service a group of artificial "I
CAN'Ts" that bound (put a boundary around) and permeate the life and
self concept of the being.

      Notice I MUST ....  is simply I CAN'T NOT....

      I CAN'T is an INABILITY.

      I MUST is a COMPULSIVE ABILITY which is also an INABILITY TO STOP
using that ability.

      Common END WORDS to I CAN'T or MUST are CAUSE, BE, DO, HAVE, WANT
and KNOW.  There are many others such as THINK AND FEEL.  Find your own.

      The purpose of these artificial I CAN'Ts is to rebalance a more
natural set of I CAN and I CAN'Ts that come from the nature of the
physical universe, and the conditions and constraints that we all live
under, namely our NEEDS AND ABILITIES to survive in life.

      One wins in life when the I CANs out trump the I CAN'Ts
just enough to keep the game interesting and on going.

      Since everything lives by eating something else, beings form groups
or teammates to help them survive in and against the 8 dynamics, trying
to eat them before they are eaten themselves.

      Remember the being is not only trying to survive as a second
dynamic say against the 4th dynamic, he is ALSO trying survive AS
the 4th dynamic say against other dynamics including his own 2nd.

      Thus each dynamic provides both help and harm to all other dynamics
including itself.

      So a web of multi conflicts arise as to who is winning and who is
beating who.

      A high tone being can be found to be winning most of the time,
corralling each dynamic to the benefit of others, and a low tone being
can be found fighting himself.

      A Black V with blocked recognition, perception and communication
and no orientation is fighting himself.

      Sometimes an inverted being can be found to be protecting
other dynamics FROM himself.

      He is helping them fight HIM!

      The universe is pretty well balanced so that most people will feel
that with enough quality family, friends, and teammates across all 8
dynamics on their side, they can on average lead a long and quality life
and help other's do so also.

      At least long enough to breed and assure that their offspring breed
too :).

      That means a life worth living, with a strong will to live and play
win or lose.

      Run,

      "What kind of future do you not want?"
      "What kind of future do you want?"

      E/P: Able to not have undesirable futures, and have desirable
futures.

      ((Do not run with "What?" questions, questions kill, run instead
with causal conception.

      Beings natively create in the mere conception of things, thus when
you ask someone to get the idea or or conceive something, you are
commanding him to create it and put it there.

      "Conceive an undesirable future.
       Conceive a desirable future".))"

      ((Oh ok, why do questions kill?

     Because the end of every engram is a bee's nest of questions, every
one of which is in a state of failure or wrong indication, who, how,
what, where, when, why, and which plus a few dozen more like "Is it?"
and "Does it?" and "What should I DO about it?", and "What did I do to
deserve this" and "What should I do or not do to make sure this never
happens again.  Ever.  Even if I want it to :)" etc.

     Thus asking questions restimulates the wrong end (near end) of
every incident in the ENTIRE bank, including your bank and everyone
else's that you have any contact with.

     Every time you ask a question seriously, with high energy density
of seriousness, importance, permance and pain, it ripples out through
the aura's of beings to the very edge of the universe and then bounces
back in towards you again.

     Thus you are being bombarded by the faint echos of every question
you asked a trillion years ago and never got answers.))

      However this background dynamic equanimity about existence and
playing the games of survival can come asunder, through accident or
willful criminality and treason amongst people and teammates, and thus
conflicts come about that lead to the use of the Service Fac to fend off
these conflicts and thus survive 'better'.

      "You are useless and I am going to make you walk the plank now!"

      Yes, but my leg hurts!"

      The concentration of these limitations is around the subject of
NEED FOR NO CHANGE and NEED FOR CHANGE.

      The guy has clean air and NEEDS it to remain that way, so that is
NEED FOR NO CHANGE.

      The guy wants it to rain more often for his crops, and his mother's
absent love, so that is NEED FOR CHANGE.

      Thus the game of life consists of NEEDS and making sure they are
met.

      But the being can be so charged up on CHANGE that he develops
a super NEED FOR NO CHANGE lest he blow up and go splat all over
Native State.

      BEING AN EFFECT

      NEED by definition implies BEING AN EFFECT.

      The Service Fac creates artificial states of BEING AN EFFECT in the
preclear's life to stabilize him at his conceived level of necessary NO
CHANGE and necessary CHANGE to maintain his survival above the level of
death or abandonment.

      Too much CHANGE and he goes down tone, too much NO CHANGE and he
also goes down tone.

      But CHANGE has to be the right kind of NO CHANGE AND CHANGE to
work, not just any old NO CHANGE OR CHANGE will do, in fact most will
make things worse.

      Thus when external forces on all dynamics including the 8th push
your preclear into a state of non optimum NO CHANGE OR CHANGE, to a
point of losing his will to live via CAN'T PLAY, he withdraws, AS A PLOY
from the 8 dynamics, towards succumb, in order to get others to offer to
optimize change for him, to play the game for him, or change the rules
to his advantage.

      He feels he is going to die anyhow through no fault of his own, so
if his ploys to feign dying now don't work, he is dead anyhow.

      Playing dead preceeds actually dying.

      So what's to lose?

      At least he is still trying to live even if through a deceit.

      "The way to live is to pretend to die."

      Longer term and trans life time it's:

      "The way to survive is to succumb."

      "The way to be able is to be unable."

      The last effort of a being failing to survive is to pretend to be
sick, dead or dying.  Then try to kill himself, then wait to be killed,
then actually kill himself.

      And remember deceit though it may be, if he gives him self small
pox or whooping cough to scare the daylights out of his so called
mother, its as real as real comes even if he had a hand in catching it.

      Its a kind of well tempered slow suicide.

      At the exact moment a given level of succumb succeeds to get
someone to help him enough to survive, he stops withdrawing further
towards death on that matter, but stays at the last level of succumb
that worked.

      Meaning the last level of inability or I CAN'T that got flipped
over into an "I CAN thank you very much," becomes the operational level
of inability for the rest of this life.

      ((If the level of external suppression lightens up, he may back off
his own self suppression also, and if he fully resolves his problems
with his primary antagonists, with confessions, apologies, and amends all
around, he will allow the service fac to go out of restimulation
completely.

      But if in the heat of the fray his antagonists die on him, and
everyone else around him reminds him endlessly of his late rotten game
mates he will keep the service fac in restim to the end of time barring
auditing or complete change of scenery.))

      Thus the service fac creates a somewhat faux I CAN on crutches of I
CAN'T, so he gets to survive but he always has to have his crutches with
him.

      The service fac is the crutch which services the I CAN with an I
CAN'T so it can continue to function, such as it is.

      Notice that although it looks on the surface like an

      "I CAN WALK (sort of)"

      it's really an

      "I CAN'T WALK ALONE".

      It's an I CAN WALK but only with the agreement, permission, help,
extraordinary efforts and cooperation of others.

      THE SERVICE FAC DOES NOT HELP HIM WALK, THE SERVICE FAC PREVENTS
HIM FROM WALKING.  It's the helping hand feeling sorry for him that
helps him walk.

      Get the difference.

      The service fac is not your friend.

      Thus you will find your preclear in a very complex web of
artificial I CAN'Ts and SELF HARM that as a group help keep his ship
afloat through the HELP they get him and the HARM they fend off.

      It will be very hard for you to get him to give up any of these
artificial I CAN'Ts because he knows that if he loses just one bandaid on
his life, his whole ship will sink.

      Remember he backed off sinking himself at the exact point that he
no longer needed more self sinking to survive.  So if you remove even
one of these things, he will be right back to sinking again as he was
when he originally created his self sinking deceits.

      The main targets of these deceits of succumb can be anyone or
anything, but are often those who have accidentally or intentionally
created his out of balance situation for him in the first place through
misuse of their superior force, illogic, and unethical breaking of any
relational contracts or codes they may have had with him.

      The parent did agree to take care of the child, what's he doing
feeding it radiator fluid as bad tasting medicine.

      Sometimes your preclear is just trying to get a helping hand from
some overly disinterested passerby, but other times he has it in for his
parents, friends and other dynamic teammates who used him, abused him
and threw him away while he was still living up to his part of the deal.

      Sometimes there may be misinterpretations, misperceptions or mis
apprehensions about who is doing what to whom and why, but preclears
generally know who is trying to kill them as a baby.

      They know they were not conceived in love.

      Thus you will find 'shouldn't have been born cases' very hard to
audit because admitting the truth means its time to die and start over.

      Shouldn't have been born means 'not useful here', so what's he
going to do, stand around hemming and hawing until he dies of old age
anyhow.

      Usefulness is usually to others, but if others don't want you
around to be useful, you might as well go out and help the stones on the
beach be better stones.

      He will be thinking its too late to start over now anyway, so maybe
he will just sit there waiting until he dies, gets a new body and gets
on with whatever plans he had in this life.

      Thus auditing out whatever disaster destroyed his will to live can
be frustrating.

      Thus reality breaks, breaks in agreements as to who owes what to
who, duties and rights, often underlie the inception of the service fac
computations.

      We call these reality breaks injustices as they are breaks in the
sense of fair chosen fair exchange.

      Run,

      "Get the idea of NEED FOR NO    CHANGE.
      "Get the idea of NEED FOR SOME  CHANGE.

      E/P Sell your crutches on Ebay.

      If you want, run this one also.

      "Get the idea of NO NEED FOR NO CHANGE.
         (All change is acceptable).
      "Get the idea of NO NEED FOR SOME CHANGE.
         (Everything is fine as it is.)

      Homer

----------------------------------------------------------------------

      NEED FOR NO CHANGE AND NEED FOR CHANGE

      AWARENESS CHARACTERISTIC CHART
      http://www.clearing.org/archive?/electra/acc.memo

      "Learn it, love it, teach it, master it.

      All can, but for some it will be a long time between now and then.

      You can't move your house around town, if you have locked yourself
inside it, and thrown way the key." - Adore.com


      THE NO CHANGE CASE

      At some point your preclear will come uptone to NO CHANGE, TA stuck
high, somatics like hell forever, no memory, no viso/sonic, no
recognition, no orientation, no production, no clearing, no nothing.

      Zero, zip, zilch, nada, squat, rien.

      He comes in with no memory and lots of pain and failure, and 40,000
hours of auditing later, he hasn't remembered a single new anything, and
his affinity levels are way lower then they ever were before.

      The auditor's in the church of Scientology are EXPERTS at doing
this, and then selling you more.

      My opinion.

      A being in good shape causes things in the mere conception
of them.

      Using causal conception, one can start by trying to run:

      Get the idea of NO   CHANGE.
      Get the idea of SOME CHANGE.

      This can be complicated by subtle twists, so if the above produces
NO CHANGE :), continue reading on.


      THE NEED FOR NO CHANGE RUNDOWN

      Notice the following in the awareness characteristic chart.

      Going downwards now into deeper and deeper levels of despair:

      HELP
      HOPE
      DEMAND FOR IMPROVEMENT
      NEED FOR CHANGE
      FEAR OF WORSENING
      BEING AN EFFECT
      RUIN
      DESPAIR
      SUFFERING
      NUMBNESS
      INTROVERSION
      DISASTER
      INACTUALITY ("What disaster?")
      DELUSION    ("Oh yes, I did indeed chip a finger nail!")

      RUIN means something is broke.

      DISASTER means it can't be fixed or repaired.

      Ever.

      You can talk with a RUIN case, but you can't talk with a DISASTER
case or below.

      What is bugging them is forever, don't you see, so they don't want
to be reminded.

      Ever.

      AND someone at INACTUALITY has no idea what you are talking about.

      It's a total Star Trek class Memory Wipe.

      He paid good money for it, you aren't going to take it away from
him.


      WALKING ON WATER

      Life is like trying to walk on water.

      "And Jesus was a sailor when he walked upon the water.  And he
spent a long time watching from his lonely wooden tower.  And when he
knew for certain that only drowning men could see him, He said "All men
shall be sailors then, until the sea shall free them." - Suzanne,
Leonard Cohen

      The dividing point between going up and going down is

      NEED FOR NO CHANGE and NEED FOR SOME CHANGE.

      Run the following for a few sessions.

      Get the idea of NO   NEED FOR NO   CHANGE.
      Get the idea of SOME NEED FOR NO   CHANGE.
      Get the idea of NO   NEED FOR SOME CHANGE.
      Get the idea of SOME NEED FOR SOME CHANGE.

      Remember NO means pretended NO.

      Running NO and SOME will cause repeated falls and rises in the TA.

      Actual NO, meaning erased or not there, will cause the needle to
float at 2.5, none of this F/Nish at 3.5.

      Pretended NO is what people's lives are made of, it's pure
not-isness, making nothing of something or nailing something out of
existence, with force, blackness, invisibility and mass made out of
obsidian glass, tar and crazy glue.

      Thus the guy is PARKED in NO CHANGE about NEED FOR CHANGE.

      He has a need for change, but has a mortal fear of CHANGE.

      That's an AND.

      Wanting to NOT CHANGE *AND* wanting to CHANGE at the same time,
forever for free.

      If you are still getting NO CHANGE (and NO INTEREST!) after a few
hours solo or dual with this, continue with

      Get the idea of SUB REFUSED   NEED FOR CHANGE.
      Get the idea of REFUSED       NEED FOR CHANGE.
      Get the idea of NO            NEED FOR CHANGE.
      Get the idea of INHIBITED     NEED FOR CHANGE.
      Get the idea of ENFORCED      NEED FOR CHANGE.
      Get the idea of CURIOUS ABOUT NEED FOR CHANGE.
      Get the idea of KNOW ABOUT    NEED FOR CHANGE.
      Get the idea of SOURCE OF     NEED FOR CHANGE.

      Just shut up and keep doing it.

      E/P is: willing and able to CHANGE upwards from NEED FOR CHANGE AND
GET ON WITH IT.

      Use Model Session II.
      http://www.clearing.org/archive?/homer/model


      HELP AND HARM

      Remember that beings love to play games of help and harm, of making
beings better and making beings worse.  They also love regretting
things, which is making one's self worse for having tried to make
another better or worse etc.

      Trying to make someone worse is trying to make them CHANGE tone
from above NEED FOR CHANGE to below NEED FOR CHANGE.

      Trying to make someone better is trying to make them CHANGE tone
from below NEED FOR CHANGE to above NEED FOR CHANGE.

      If you can get them unstuck from their denied NEED FOR CHANGE, up
to DEMAND FOR IMPROVEMENT, they will probably be able to swim up on
their own from there on out, for they have seen the light of their
sticking forever just above sinking forever at NO NEED FOR CHANGE.

      Bill your preclear for your time, for he is likely to pick him self
up and DEMAND, HOPE and HELP himself into a long and glorious future.

      Preclears can be like turtles.

      You find them stuck in the muck, you pick them up and free them and
they happily swim away without barely a thank you.

      They are unaware that a God perhaps just saved them from a Godly
demise.

      However at NEED FOR CHANGE your preclear hasn't figured out cause
yet, so they are on the fence not daring to move.

      At NO NEED FOR CHANGE, they will find an unbearable deadness in
their minds, not an interesting thought for hours on end.

      NOTHING in their past, nothing in their present, nothing in their
future holds any interest or attraction for them.

      It's a hell forever of emotional avichi (look it up).

      Nothing there, nothing here, nothing anywhere or any when.

      Just simple suicidal monotony, tedium and boredom.

      Oh yeah and ALONENESS.

      That's because interest, cheerfulness, enthusiasm, exhilaration,
thrill, courage and action are all CHANGE, flow, movement, and force and
mass in motion, directed towards GOALS AND PRODUCTION.

      (Force is cause of change in the physical universe, from the food
one eats, to the poop coming out and every constructive or destructive
activity in between powered by forces working on the mass and energy
consumed.)

      Even consumption of food is boring unless it serves the production
of something interesting.

      There is NO INTEREST at NO NEED FOR CHANGE.

      At NO NEED FOR CHANGE they are sitting on a ridge so big and so
solid their eternity seems to be in the balance.

      If they go up to DEMAND FOR IMPROVEMENT, they may fail, or others
may come a long and kick them back down,

      Or more to the point they may explosively jump out of their skins
and never be able to find peace in death again.

      If they go below NEED FOR CHANGE to FEAR OF WORSENING they feel
like they are teetering on the edge of OBLIVION.

      Thus fearing the outcome of trying anything at all, they will try
to make nothing out of everything that threatens CHANGE, either good or
bad.

      That creates a faux eternal STILLNESS made of seething mass and red
hot emotion in motion that looks, feels and audits like solid dumb dead
rock.

      They just can't stand the thought of the ocean or universe moving
under their feet, on its own again.

      Let alone under their own DEMAND towards a goal.

      Oh no, been there, done that, bought the tombstone.

      They are also guilty as hell of overt acts on change.

      They are trying to make themselves better by making others worse,
some of whom probably deserve it, then they are trying to make
themselves better by regretting making others worse, even those who
deserved it and might have benefited from it, and making themselves
worse instead.

      Making another worse involves pushing them down below HELP, HOPE,
and DEMAND FOR IMPROVEMENT into NEED FOR CHANGE, and then lower into
FEAR OF WORSENING, BEING AN EFFECT, RUIN and on down.

      Get another being down into DISASTER and you win because boy does
INACTUALITY STICK!

      So better yet get them down in to INACTUALITY and DELUSION, and the
victim won't even know he has been hit.

      DELUSION is something like, 'Oh what a wonderful day it is', like
the end of the movie Brazil.

      Then its an easy game to kick them down into HYSTERIA, SHOCK,
CATATONIA and OBLIVION, where you and no one else will ever hear from
them again.

      Good deal eh?

      Notice that just below OBLIVION is DUALITY AND DETACHMENT.

      You can't detach from someone or some thing you are one with.

      Once the being considers he is separate from others (DUALITY), he
can detach from them and life itself.

      Have you ever felt detached?

      Who or what are you detached from?

      "Hey Joe, how you doing today?"
      "Just fine, thank you!"

      As he sinks into HALLUCINATION, SADISM and MASOCHISM and further
places so low they aren't fit for polite society to talk about.

      And notice that DETACHMENT is a higher harmonic of DISCONNECTION at
the very bottom of the chart.

      The guy at DETACHMENT is still walking around causing trouble.

      The guy at DISCONNECTION is out of here, back into an enforced Big
Snooze AT THE BOTTOM again.

      Goodbye, and good riddance I always say.


      THE KARMA AT BEING AN EFFECT

      A being who tries to make another BE AN EFFECT against his will
eventually gets to have others trying to make him BE AN EFFECT against
his own will.

      This is the game of RUIN and CO-RUIN.

      Thus you can see what ridges might form at BEING AN EFFECT just
below FEAR OF WORSENING.

      He is trying to get back higher than BEING AN EFFECT by dragging
someone else lower than BEING AN EFFECT and they of course respond in
like kind.

      Standard Hollywood stuff, two guys fighting to the death on the
edge of a cliff, except this is real life.

      FEAR OF WORSENING is a dangerous place to be, its like standing on
the edge of the continental shelf and looking out over it contemplating
your eternal fate.

      Over that edge, it's straight on down from there, the bottom has
yet to be found.

      BEING AN EFFECT is a way to hang onto that spiritual side of the
continental shelf by pulling others higher than you over the edge and
pushing them down below you.

      Let them fall to remind you how deep the abyss really is.


      NUMBNESS

      Notice the run from RUIN down to SUFFERING and NUMBNESS.

      Numbness is a lower harmonic of NEED FOR NO CHANGE, and NO NEED FOR
CHANGE, and RUIN is a higher harmonic of DISASTER.

      If you really want to trip the light fantastic and blow your brains
out,

      Run HOPE AND DESPAIR.

      Get the idea of NO   HOPE.
      Get the idea of SOME HOPE.

      Get the idea of NO   DESPAIR.
      Get the idea of SOME DESPAIR.

      This is all just standard Scn 8-80 by the way.

      Energy comes from running the dichotomy.

      NO and SOME of anything is a dichotomy, and HOPE and DESPAIR are
dichotomies of a wider sort.

      Hell if Hubbard could run Beautiful Sorrow, you can run HOPE and
DESPAIR.

      Or if you are crazy like Electra run them as:

      Get the idea of the HOPE OF DESPAIR, and the DESPAIR OF HOPE.

      OK, now here comes the dangerous stuff.

      If you aren't a pre OT go away.

      I mean it, the door is over there...


      CAUSAL CONCEPTION

      For a being that creates in the mere conception of things
conception is CAUSAL.

      He conceives an elephant, he's has an elephant.

      Or better yet he IS an elephant.

      That's called SOVEREIGNTY or SOVEREIGN DESIRE in Adore.com

      Sovereign desire means you want it, you got it.

      You can't want something without conceiving it, and conception is
causal, so WANTING equals HAVING.

      It takes quite a bit of effort to be able to want and thus conceive
an elephant and not have one, but that allows one to CHASE getting an
elephant by other means.

      You conceive what you want, then you play the dance or game of
getting it.

      Now, rather than wanting means having, wanting means the game is a
foot.

      That's a GAME at SPIRIT OF PLAY, ACTION, and SENSATION right below
SERENITY OF BEINGNESS.

      TONE SCALE
      http://www.clearing.org/archive?/electra/tone.memo

      Games are games of optimizing apparent non sovereignty.

      They are however created by sovereignty wishing itself to be non
sovereign, in part, for a while.  A finite while.

      This intent of sovereignty towards the apparency of non sovereignty
for a while is called Majesty, Master of JEST.

      JEST means Jokes of Eternal Self Treason.   (Going down)
      JEST means Jokes of Eternal Self Truth.     (Going up)

      Notice when conceived havingness is set up as a game of chase, it
is implied that the being can lose or fail to win.

      Thus the being creating games of chase is actually conceiving both
NOT HAVING AND HAVING at the same time which creates a wicked AND.

      Thus he has no idea what the end will be while he continues to
chase.

      Because conception is CAUSAL, conception can conceive that it isn't
CAUSAL, so watch it.

      All suppression, oppression, repression and depression is underlain
by very strong conceptions of the non causality of mere conception.

      Causal conception of conception as non causal, is the definition of
total irresponsibility and denial of putting it there.


      FAILED HELP AND I CAN'T

      The being is trying to mockup but can't (or must).

      Must mockup is can't not mockup.

      All can't is won't.

      But let me tell you, this is what separates the OT's from the water
boys.

      When mockups start to turn on, they are usually of DISASTER
breaking up out of INACTUALITY.

      This is where the preclear feels like he is going to exteriorize
like a rocket and never live down what ever he finds out or worse let's
loose.

      Talk about Pandora's Box.

      He is scared out of his wits that he will SEE AGAIN.

      And this isn't stuff to scare a human, this is stuff to scare a
GOD.

      An Omni Operating Lord God Almighty actually.

      They go running for their mamas so easily these days, but she isn't
his friend either.

      So what's a God gonna do?

      Be eternally still and put it there?

      That's called the Symbol - Orientation point flip flop, driven by
necessity level.

      At some point the God that is being chased by his own creation of
horror has to stop running, let go of his flinch and cringe deceit, and
simply PUT IT THERE, no matter how horrible it is.

      ORIENTATION POINT AND SYMBOL
      http://clearing.org/archive?/homer/orientation.memo

      Common disasters are the long slow painful death of loved ones,
people, pets, groups, places and things etc.

      Running out the death of one cat can bring a being closer to the
true nature of the Divine Spirit than any other life experience.

      You really find out something about yourself during this.

      It's not only that they died, it is HOW they died.

      Thus the worst incident in the universe, would be the longest
slowest death of all time.

      Yes it is there, and yes you will find it.

      It is failed HELP.

      And so HOPE is gone.


      HORROR

      Right below Terror is Horror, and Horror can also show you more
about the nature of the Divine Spirit than you might care to know.

      Below Horror is Numb, and Numb is "What cat?"

      That's all a Black 5 case is, they are a "What cat?" case.

      'I can't and that's that, what's all this about I won't stuff?"

      The underlying theme of all these things is failed HELP.

      Failed CO-OPERATION.

      CO OPERATION MEANS SIMPLY OPERATING TOGETHER WHETHER IN WAR OR IN
PLAY.

      Failed HELP is causal conception being not causal, par excellence.

      Run,

      "Conceive I can't!" Just joking.

      Pretty soon the preclear will start saying I CAN'T!

      So yeah, always run the dicom.

      Conceive I CAN'T.
      Conceive I CAN.

      Thus the guy who can't see what he can't see, can't see because he
doesn't dare, what comes up just rips his heart out and throws it away,
forever and ever Amen.

      Death is a violation of his unwillingness to change.

      Fast losses are bad enough, but long slow losses, like from disease
or people going missing and NEVER being found, add a layer of enormous
effort to find and help them, all to no ultimate avail.

      That's an I CAN'T of magnitude, don't you see?'

      You think real OT's go walking around conceiving "I CAN'T" all day
long?

      Maybe to optimize barriers to make things more interesting.

      I had a cat once with a radio collar on her that someone stole one
cold December day.  They just let her in, turned off the radio, and
didn't let her out.

      For the next two weeks I spent 12 hours a day looking up and down
every road, ditch, and forest hell hole looking for her dead body.

      Why would someone take the cat's radio collar off, take the battery
out so there was no beacon and hang it up on a hat post inside their
door?

      Finally we plastered 300 homes with a LOST CAT sign.

      So one day she showed up again on the radio, the collar had been
turned back on and reseated improperly, but enough to find her, and that
was the end of that engram.

      It ended well this time, but the search for that cat is still a
nightmare for me.

      There was an earlier cat that went off line one day, and it took a
month of looking until I found her body, cat and radio collar smashed by
an 18 wheeler, and the body taken off the road and put on the side where
it couldn't be seen.

      A Christmas Donkey watched over her during the long cold month of
December while her body lay under a road side bush where no one could
see her.

      Except the Donkey.

      Only by an act of the God of Serendipity did I happen to talk to
someone who had seen her body on the first day she had gone missing and
remembered about it to tell me a month later when I was still looking
for her.

      He named was Mirabilis because years before she had found her way
through our cat window from the freezing cold outside to make her home
on our bed room window sill.

      She was so thin she looked like a 3000 year old mummy.

      With in a tera quintillion years of space time, she had found the
one hole in the universe where she could find warmth, food and people to
care for her, was that not miraculous?

      Too bad I couldn't keep her in, so she got a radio collar and I
tracked her down some times twice a day for 5 years, until it all ended
in a silent beacon and a Christmas Donkey.

      These kind of incidents leave you with a sense of missed withhold,
or near miss, as I might never have found her, and been wondering how
she was doing for ever more.

      You end up listening for her on the CB hoping a whisper of her
ghost will come across the static.

      The exhaustion of that search is still with me, and left me
wondering what life was all about?

      Giving a damn until you are dead?

      Why love something if all you do is look for it all day long to see
if it is still alive?

      Then there was my mother who disappeared one summer when I was 9 in
California at the SSS resort ranch near Calistoga.

      Me and my father looked for her for 2 weeks, along with police
search parties, blood hounds and helicopters.

      Eventually we had to give up and go home, school was starting.

      A few days later some boys hunting rattlers in the woods with BB
guns, found her body at the bottom of a ravine all bloated and filled
with bugs.

      And I still haven't found what I am looking for.


      THOUGHT, LOOKING, EMOTION, EFFORT

      Thus you will find first the efforts start to come off the bank
causing hideous somatics and revivifications particularly in dreams.

      Then emotion starts to come off the bank causing hideous feelings.

      Then images and lookingness comes off the bank causing hideous
faces and scenes of suffering.

      Again in dreams so bad you have to run the engram of running the
engram.

      And then the thought and causal postulates about cause come off the
bank.

      And always remember between the effort and the lookingness is a
WALL of emotion.  So when the preclear looks with his eyes closed and
sees only black, he is trying to see the lookingness through the wall of
effort and emotion covering it.

      This is what is in front of his face.

      Preclear -> BLACK -> Effort -> Emotion -> Thought -> Beauty ->
Cause -> Peace

      Thus to solve the black 5 case, someone who can't mockup visio,
sonic, smell, taste or feelings, he has to look for effort and emotion
before he finds the light.

      And the light will remain intolerable until he can spot the layers
of causal conception about what happened in the event and it's global or
cosmic context, that claim adamantly that conception has no causality at
all.

      The aberrated message that holds the disaster in place is always
the same:

      The efficacy of conception is zero.

      As the layers of no responsibility come off, and he turns from
AGHAST and not putting it there into cautiously but willingly putting it
there, good humor will return.

      And that is the good humor of forever that erases the bad humor of
DISASTER forever.

      That's the layer of humor that turns the light pretty and washes
away the hideousness of cause.

      If you take the absolute worst DISASTER of not putting it there on
his whole track and have him put it there just the tiniest bit, the
result is a tremendous explosion of beauty, good humor, and OKness about
the Cosmic All.

      These worst disasters come in chains, and once you get on that
chain by running a later smaller disaster, it will lead you back like a
chain of fireworks to the original disaster on the day everything went
the most wrong in Eternity.

      Once the fireworks and laughter die down the result is peace
forever for free.

      And that is a Clear.

      Not a hint of 'not putting it there' anywhere to be seen.


      POWER TO CAUSE

      Now this is sooper dooper magic, so don't even think about reading
what's next unless you are prepared to look the dragon in the eye, and
put it there, while praying "Nice little dragon..."

      Remember COURAGE is FEAR that has said its prayers.

      Run,

      Get the idea that causal conception is useless.
      Get the idea that causal conception is useful.

      E/P: Awareness that conception is causal unless conceived
otherwise, at which point conception is still causal up to that point,
but all further conception isn't.

      Still NO CHANGE?

      Run R2-45.  :)

      Colt .45 to the head.  - Creation of Human Ability, LRH

      Homer

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Wilson Smith   Clean Air, Clear Water,    Art Matrix - Lightlink
(607) 277-0959       A Green Earth, and Peace,  Internet, Ithaca NY
homer@lightlink.com  Is that too much to ask?   http://www.lightlink.com
Wed Sep  4 17:17:06 EDT 2019