RELATIONSHIPS, SECRETS, AND TIME REVERSAL OF JUSTIFICATIONS The way to happiness is a true confession. The following material is not original with me. TO RELATE means to communicate to another, ideas, dreams and goals that come from our self and our experiences, from our fundamental desires for our future and our run-ins with existence. RELATIONSHIPS consist of many individual and on going instances of two or more people relating things to each another of COMMON interest: goals, desires, plans, experiences, knowledge, things of importance to both of them including any form of CO ACTION OR CO PLAY against or with each other. It is very hard to get someone to listen to you relate things to them that they are not interested in, and visa versa. If someone is not interested or hostile to what you are trying to relate to them, they will block communication on that subject. If enough relating is blocked, the 'relationship' will end, and each party will go their own way trying to find others to relate to and be related to. People must relate to someone, if you can't relate to them, either because they don't want to know or you don't want them to know, they will find other's to relate to. When they are spending more time relating to others than to you, your relationship with them is pretty well over. True friends can generally relate anything of interest to each other. They don't have any blocks on relating things of importance, from sex to death and the there after if you can countenance such things. And of course everything in between from childhood to old age. The things that parents do not relate to their children could fill a library. THE BEGINNING OF TROUBLE An OVERT ACT is when one person harms another, either accidentally or intentionally. A MOTIVATOR is when a person is harmed by another either accidentally or intentionally. The person that is harmed often considers himself provoked or MOTIVATED to harm the offender back, thus the harm he suffered from another is called a MOTIVATOR. Many overt acts are committed by a person after they have received a motivator, the overt act serves as a provoked or motivated punishment or revenge. But some overt acts are accidental or a joke gone wrong, or a motivated punishment of another that goes way wrong and thus becomes more harmful than what it was supposed to punish. You whap your kid for saying something, and he goes falling down the stairs and breaks his neck. You never intended that, so you regret the injustice you did to him. His overt act of a dirty mouth is your motivator, but then your punishment becomes YOUR overt act! When a person commits an unprovoked overt act against another, like you run over your neighbor's cat one morning while backing out of your driveway, rather than confess your accidental misdeed, you may try to shunt blame to another. For example you may take the dead cat and put it in the road and tell your neighbor that someone else ran it over. Lord save you if you point your finger over to your other neighbor and get them in trouble for the dead cat, for that is bearing false witness. You, who have failed to fess up to your responsibility in the matter, now have a withhold, a secret from your neighbor that you loathe revealing. That withhold is something you aren't relating to your neighbor, neither that you did it accidentally nor how much you regretted it. A withhold is anything you don't want others to know about you, it's an area of NON RELATING about you to the world around you. Certainly you wouldn't want whatever it is published on the front page of the New York Times. Thus your relationship to the world, and certainly to your neighbor, is diminished to just that extent. The person who can't talk to anyone just has a whole mountain load of stuff he doesn't want them to know about him. It could all be false, but man does it keep him quiet. THE MISSED WITHHOLD A long time later you and your neighbor are talking about his new kitten, and your neighbor gives you a look that makes you start wondering if he knows you killed his original cat and blamed it on another. Maybe he knows, maybe he doesn't, maybe he just wonders, maybe it was just a weird look, but now YOU are wondering full time if he knows or not. That's called a MISSED WITHHOLD, because your neighbor has reminded you of your misdeed but then missed getting a full confession from you about your overt of killing his cat by accident. Overt acts cause one to REGRET the event that is being withheld. Regret is the effort to turn back time. Regret is a life ruining bitch. SOLUTIONS TO REGRET The being with a regret about something he did will try to find something that his neighbor did to him first before he killed the cat in order to justify having killed it. Maybe the neighbor stole your girlfriend away in high school, therefore its now ok that you killed the neighbor's cat years later. OK, that makes some kind of sense, but the thing is you weren't that upset about losing your girl in high school, you did have three others at the time, but boy are you upset about it now. The power of your upset over the motivator THEN comes from the power of your regret about your overt NOW. So in order to feel good again now you may exaggerate the loss of your girlfriend to equal or exceed in magnitude the loss you caused your neighbor by killing his cat. This is called a justification, an event that happened earlier, that now justifies why it is OK that the cat was killed later and helps to assuage or ameliorate the regret that you are feeling now but have not relieved through a clean confession. "You done me wrong long ago, so its OK I done you wrong now." You see if you can relate (tell or talk about) your regret to everyone now, and you survive it, the regret will fade, as will your upset about your girlfriend long ago. But if you never tell anyone, boy does the anger and regret stay around and become solid a a rock. An unconfessed regret will eventually become part of the shape of your face. Rather than confess what you did, you are trying to make a CAUSAL connection between what was done to you long ago to what you did to your neighbor now. But it never works, the regret remains, and you know damn well you didn't kill the cat BECAUSE of what happened in high school years before, although you may be trying to make it seem so. Then failing that form of justification, you still feel rotten, you may then pick up on every possible thing ever done to you BY ANYONE before you killed the cat to make your self feel better about the cat whose dying eyes are beginning to haunt you now. "I have been so wronged by so many people, I am really sorry about the cat, but it deserved it". Of course that sham doesn't work at all, and just covers you like leeches with memories of all the bad things every done to you, or anyone else for that matter. Logic begins to decay here. Then one propitious day AFTER the cat is killed, the neighbor backs out of his driveway and runs over your rose garden on the edge, leaving a huge tire track through it. Suddenly you feel that you have really been done wrong this time, your poor rose garden, this is a crime to end all crimes. You feel certainly having one's rose garden turned into a mud puddle by that terrible neighbor of yours is crime enough to JUSTIFY having killed the neighbor's cat years BEFORE. Everyone right minded would agree. But how can something done to you today, justify, provoke or motivate you to do the thing you did years BEFORE to another? 'It was ok for me to hurt you long ago, because you hurt me today.' 'It was ok for me to kill your cat long ago, because you ran over my rose garden today.' That's called a time reversal, because the JUSTIFICATION and thus the CAUSATION of events is backwards. *THIS* is the beginning of insanity. Worse the magnitude of the present time motivator is blown way out of proportion to help it match or exceed the magnitude of the overt you did long ago that you still regret, accidental though it may have been. Nothing, neither God nor Christ, can save a being, if he is carrying around withheld time reversals in his life, except a true confession. There are no withheld time reversals in Heaven, and Heaven IS the state of no more withheld time reversals regardless of external circumstances. Failing coughing up the true confession, he will turn to drugs and what ever other forms of slow or fast suicide Earth provides us. The confession doesn't have to be to the one he harmed, but maybe its time to find a priest or professional auditor (one who listens), someone who understands time reversal justifications and their life ruining effects, and who is willing and able to receive the full relating of the events in proper order. (The word auditor comes from 'auditory', meaning one who listens and acknowledges receipt of your communications in confidence without judgment. Since God does not judge, auditors are God in carnation.) It also helps the one confessing to stop the endless bitching about rose gardens. By restoring the full relatingness on just one time reversal the agony of the time reversal can be vanished because the truth is finally told to the guilty being himself. That's all that matters, a confession to one's self. "...such a wretch as I." You will also begin to notice and recognize clearly that others are doing the same damn thing to you, and you will no longer be held down by their endlessly magnified criticisms hiding their own relatively serious regrets. The mother who just can't seem to stop calling her kid a useless hole in the head for endless numbers of minor things, hasn't told him about the coat hanger she used to attempt to abort him mid term. He lived through the attempted abortion, he doesn't remember, but knows his mother is right about the holes in his head but can't figure out it is HER OVERT that needs confession and redemption. You see until a true confession is gleaned, neither party is relating to each other any more, and so they are no longer friends almost by definition. Since we are all God in carnation, that's like a part of God being not on talking terms with another part of God. That separation is all the hell we need and all the hell there is. No hell can outlast a true confession. The guy who killed the neighbor's cat is mad as hell at his neighbor for killing a rose in his own garden. That anger will be out of control, and remain out of control and grow FOREVER AND EVER AMEN, until the true confession is gleaned, and the being stops trying to find things now that help him justify and make OK what he did long ago. Trying to find things that happened to him AFTER what he did long ago. He is pissed at himself, he loved cats to pieces, and just can't turn time back enough, far enough, fast enough or hard enough. In the end the guilty being will start to PROVOKE others until they start to commit motivators on him in present time so he can collect more injustices in present time to justify what he did long ago. Trying to justify what you regretted doing long ago by provoking others to harm you now, is called ELECTING OTHERS TO BE YOUR EXECUTIONER. No one will admit to doing this, and yet everyone is doing it. Only the good feel guilty. Only the good die forever in shame, blame and regret. The way to happiness is a true confession. And a tithing of something or another to your good auditor who or what ever they may be. Homer ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Homer Wilson Smith Clean Air, Clear Water, Art Matrix - Lightlink (607) 277-0959 A Green Earth, and Peace, Internet, Ithaca NY homer@lightlink.com Is that too much to ask? http://www.lightlink.com Thu Jul 30 14:50:52 EDT 2020