Pain results from considering Pleasure a loss.

     So there you are, opened your big fat mouth one too many times,
and now you have an angry crowd coming for you with cross and nails.

     You never been crucified before, but you hear it ain't so fun, so
this sends a chill of fear down your spine.

     First you try to run away, but they have you cornered, then you beg
for mercy, but they would give you none, then you beg for a swift death,
but they won't have any of that either, they want to see you hang for a
while crying for death and not being able to die, and then after you have
given up trying to die, they want you to die in humiliation and utter

     Thetans are experts at mocking this stuff up, eh?

     So what OT powers would yo like today?

     Maybe pick up a rock with your mind and throw it at them to chase
them away?

     Maybe put up an indestructible force shield to protect your body
from the nails?

     Maybe fly the body out of harms reach?

     You see these are all efforts to use super human *FORCE* in order
to stave off the effects of counter force, namely them nailing nails
through your hands and feet.

     You have this postulate that being the effect of counter force is
bad, so you want to mock up some super natural force to ward it off.

     Anything but make more of it eh?

     That's what a meatball thinks consists of OT powers and what he
WANTS for OT powers.


     Now joke is at the top of the tone scale, all effects are
pleasureable.  You can have nails nailed into your hands all day long
and it feels GOOD, orgasmic in fact, too good to be true, not enough
of it etc.

     But then you make the postulate that this is a loss, and suddenly
the pleasure turns to pain right in front of your eyes as if to prove
your point.

     All pain is mis polarized pleasure.

     So you have pleasure -> unwillingness to have pleasure -> pain.

     If one then blows the original consideration that turns pleasure into
pain, then ALL effect becomes pleasureable again, no matter how many nails
they drive into your hands "Ooooh feels so good, Oh God don't stop now,
only four?!"

     Pretty cool OT power, eh?

     Much better than moving marbles on a table, or fending off your
enemies with superhuman force, isn't it?  Or even charming them out of
their intent.

     Joke is once the being has attained this state, he can weild the
Sword of Excalibur again.  Because he is willing to put the Sword INTO
the rock, drive the nails into his own hands, it FEELS SO GOOD, he is
able to pull the Sword from the rock, which means he can probably
reach out with his mind and grab those nails right out of his
tormentors hands and drive them with force of mind right through their
third eyes.

     But he probably wouldn't take that approach, there are better ways to
make men regret their actions, like perhaps die, be buried and come back 3
days later, and besides he ain't pissed anymore, it's all pleasure to him.

     Now do we have a better understanding of what true OT power is?

     Probably not that hard to attain either eh?

     Now I am going to answer the question about am I freed yet?

     Define freed: No longer compulsively mis polarizing pleasure into
pain, all effect is pure pleasure no matter what it is.

     OK, no not freed, certainly not in the real waking world in which I
am writing this.

     However in my dream states, well definintely getting there.

     As most of you know I am tormented by terrible dreams of demonic
torture, parasitic infestation, electronic torture, and raw
suffocation and fear.

     One common dream is the demon's claws tickling me to death on my
sides, just unbearable, always woke up shaken, mad as hell,
humiliated, couldn't confront it at all.  But I never really tried,
the claws themselves were so ugly that the mere thought of being near
them made me cringe *CONVULSIVELY*, and when they started crawling up
my sides it was just the end of me.

     Finally one night a few weeks ago after many such dreams ending
in total overwhelm I said "Screw this", and just relaxed and let the
claws rape me.  It started, then I relaxed and poof they vanished in a
cloud of *PLEASURE*.

     Many years ago I had a a recurring instance of dropping into
total fear every night as I would start to fall asleep.  I was
overcome with being unable to remember ANYTHING, my name, where I was,
who I was, what I was doing here etc.  I felt that if I let this
continue I would truely forget everytthing I knew and never get it
back again.  Usually this jolted me out of the state and I became wide
awake again fighting for my memory of who I was.

     It would take *MINUTES* for my memory to return the oblivion was
so thick.

     I discovered that a particular phrase would turn this off while
it was happening, but I couldn't remember the phrase when it was
happening, cuz I couldn't remember *ANYTHING*.

     So I wrote phrase in big letters on a box next to my bed so when
the wall of oblivion started to come over me, all I had to do was look
over there and read the phrase.

     ("Who do you still want to murder?")

     This worked like a charm, but still it happened every night, the
fear would turn on, I would start to fall into infinite oblivion, I
would get scared of never coming out, I would reach for my magic
phrase and pull myself out inspite of it.

     Night after night after night, like for 3 weeks.

     Then one night this fear started to turn on as usual, and I said
"Screw this" and I *DOVE* into the forgetfulness and fear like doing a
high dive off the Highway to Heaven into the dark Abyss on either side
never to return, and suddenly the fear turned into *PLEASURE*, wave
after wave of the most comforting *SAFE* pleasure imaginable.

     A few minutes later the pleasure waves ended and the
fear/oblivion event never happened again.

     Another recurring nightmare was of parasites jumping off the
ground or falling out of trees and burrowing under my skin.

     I had this dream once, I was in this endless enclosed building,
there were not exists to the outside world.  All I wanted to do was get out,
but everytime I made an effort to head in that direction people would
stop me.  Finally I got really pissed off and bolted with all my might
down a hall way, pushing through all the police and barricades until
I found a window.  I then hurled myself through the window breaking
the glass and went crashing onto the ground outside where the
grass was growing and the sun was shining.  I picked up self up and
was brushing myself off when I saw these *THINGS* crawling on the pavement,
and I suddenly I remember why we weren't ever allowed outside, the world
was infested with parasites.

     Just as I was realizing this, one of them jumped off the sidewalk
and onto my arm, and INTO my arm, and I was transfixed in pain.

     I *HOWLED* in pain, top of my lungs, couldn't scream any louder
as one of these buggers would make its home in my arm and another in
my leg.  Couldn't get them out, once they were in, they were in for
good, I had become a marked person.

     Then one night a few weeks ago, I was having another parasite
dream, I was told to relax by a dream traveler in the same dream and
stop flinching, and the parasites all fell away and stopped bothering

     This is where I learned the lesson, the *FLINCH* was causing the
counter effort to stick and the pleasure to polarize into pain.

     Another common demon dream I used to have was of these gremlins
with razor sharp nails cutting me across my chest trying to reach my
heart.  I was always hell bent on stopping these guys from moving or
succeeding, we would get into an Eternal stuck battle whether neither
would win.

     A couple of nights ago it happened again, and this time I let it
do what it wanted to and it scraped gashes of light and *PLEASURE* in
my chest.  The pleasure was just on the edge of pain because I wasn't
quite willing to have it happen, still some flinch left, but the
lesson was learned.

     From this dream I said "Pain is flinched against pleasure".

     So have I been freed in my dreams?  Well the above ain't nothing.

     But no, I still have deeper and darker levels to go, still
terrified out of my wits of the next level and the final level, the
one I call the beast.

     Does any of this apply to the real world?

     Dunno.  Not as much as I would like.  My breathing condition
relative to car fumes is still horrendous, my sleep is still
horrendous, my stuffed nose makes it impossible to breath while
sleeping etc.  But you know, I can see its all the same thing, just
another level of mis polarized pleasure that needs to be handled.

     Maybe once I am done with my dream demons I will be able to start
working on my waking demons too.  I have no doubt the same principles
will apply when I do.

     So proof of OT powers?

     What OT power would you like to have today?

     If you L&N for the correct one, you will know you can have it,
and see the way to get it, no problem.

     If you are still wondering when you are going to get them, or if
they exist, you have the wrong item.


Homer Wilson Smith   Clean Air, Clear Water,  Art Matrix - Lightlink
(607) 277-0959       A Green Earth and Peace. Internet Access, Ithaca NY  Is that too much to ask?