The issue of auditor 'altitude' and comparable magnitude to the
preclear have come up.

      I don't need a 'big' being to audit me, but I do need a being who
knows what they are doing, which I guess means has handled this thing in

      It might even be ok if he hadn't, but was auditing under a C/S who

      I finally decided that LRH hadn't handled it, nor had anyone else I
knew, so at that moment I felt the blind were leading the blind, only I
knew I was blind and they thought they saw, so there was little hope
amongst that crowd.

      Later I realized that even amongst the good auditors, they just had
no clue because of lack of experience of the state I was in.

      Most good auditors I have known have never been here, they haven't
a clue where I am, let alone how to get me out of it.

      The good auditor is supposed to audit the preclear in front of
them, and not some imagined case, but if the auditor has never been
where the preclear has been, then it becomes a monumental job for the
preclear to get the auditor to mockup that level of demise.

      There are preclear's that auditing has never reached, we call them
inaccessible, SP's, dog preclear's etc, but basically they are simply
super charged meatballs.  They KNOW you haven't handled it, no matter
WHO you are, and they know you aren't going to be able to handle them.

      And most of them are down in 'there is nothing to handle anyhow'.

      Then there are preclear's that are easy to audit, they have past
life recall, have known almost since birth that this is not their only
life, their whole case state is almost insignificantly charged compared
to the mortal meat case.

      In fact most of their charge is ABOUT the mortal meat cases they
had to grow up with.

      Now me I am half way in between the two, a mortal meat case that
knows analytically that it was all a lie, but has been unable to touch
any of the charge on that lie even after thousands of hours in the
Church, in the freezone and solo.

      Perhaps that is why I frustrate the rest of you so much, because I
seem accessible enough, I at least understand the principles and can
rant them back at you along with the best of them, but at the end of the
day the TA is 6.5, and I am still solid as a rock.  And if you ever
tried to make a rock breath, you might get some idea of what this body
is like.  It doesn't FORGET to breath, it takes HEAVY EFFORT to MAKE it
breath, and the chronic pain and nausea are ever present.

      Now except for the assholes like Muldoon and Phil who really don't
seem to have a clue, from my point of view the rest of you are good
intentioned but glib.

      Your depth of understanding is sufficient to your own survival and
the survival of those many preclear's you have helped, but is not
sufficient to handle the mortal meat case, including me.

      The things you say help, although sometimes I am tempted to scream
"would someone please say something new", but it is good to hear
agreement, particularly on Alan's black core cases which most people
seem to want to gloss over.

      The black by the way covers something...

      At the end of the day, a preclear who is in trouble with life has
an upset with ability.  And it isn't necessarily HUMAN ability, because
that which became human surely was not human to begin with.

      That may be hard for the theetie wheeties but the more one looks
into one's self, the more one doesn't want to go there.

      Ability has become a problem to him, and then a withhold.  The
withhold is that he is able!  That he can!  And maybe has.

      Perhaps his ability ended up in horror or disaster for others,
either intentionally or unintentionally.  Life tends to recruit ability
to evil ends particularly when people are engaged in the game of wars.

      Oppenheimer when he first saw the atomic bomb go off said "God what
have we wrought".  He was a Jew working against the Nazis and he knew
the Nazis were working on the bomb too.  So the game was afoot, the race
to who got it first and along with it the rights to survival.

      But then when the hydrogen bomb came along, he didn't want anything
to do with it.  He had seen something, been surprised by the enormity of
what he had wrought, and this put him into a moral conflict.

      This resulted in all his friends turning against him, calling him a
commie sympathizer because he was aiding the enemy by not working on the
bomb, and eventually he lost his clearance and status in the physics

      Was it wrong to not want to help build the H bomb?  Well the
russians were building it you see, and the first to have it would have
world domination and so those who could help against the Russians should
help, but Oppie didn't want to help any more because he was sick at
heart from it all and so he had a conflict.

      A being can answer this situation by saying, screw it, next life
time I am coming back so stupid, fat and ugly the army will throw me in
jail first before they put me on the battle field let alone a think

      The computation that those that who can do, should do, leads to
conflicts when duty calls, and the being decides, probably incorrectly,
to drop out by becoming unable.  The solution becomes can't do, never
could do.

      Does Oppie really want to be remembered as the being who got the
A-bomb in time to kill a million Japs?  At what point in a war do we
consider that a million Japs are worth more a million Americans?
Wouldn't most people easily answer that one American was worth more than
a million of the enemy?

      Surely blowing away even a few million Japs would be worth saving
just a few thousand American lives, the Japs started the god damn war
after all, right?

      So what's the problem, build the bomb already.

      Well down deep, and particularly for Oppie who was a Hindu, he
could feel the High-US tearing apart over which it was going to be, Jap
or American.  Both were beings to him.

      Yes without the bomb that might mean the end of the free world, but
with the bomb, that might definitely mean the end of the world entirely.
And that still may be the case.

      So a being, entirely and totally without doing anything 'wrong',
can yet get into a terrible moral conflict with life and ability just
and only because he has ability.  His solution then is to not have
abiliity, and never want to think about it again, and certainly not let
anyone else know who or what he was, lest they come and recruit him
again, '...but the enemy of the free world might get it first!'

      "If you're not with us, you're against us!"

      At first he tries to justify his apparent overts of ability, then
he tries to restrain them, and eventually ends up both justifying and
restraining them which leads to the physical feeling of hysteria.

      Now trying to undo this is not an 'Oh Posh' kind of game.

      "come on down to Dallas, 10 hours and we get you all cleaned up."

      After THOUSANDS of hours of failing at this, you can see such
claims might be met with some more hysteria at the invalidation of prior
personal effort,

      The being is very serious about being unable lest you recruit him
into your cause.

      Yet there he is dying, the efforts to become unable are enough to
kill the Russian Army let alone his one poor body.

      So what are you going to do?

      No clue, but I will tell you something.

      First you have to make it safe for him to be able again.

      Safe even to KNOW what ability is under duress, and safe to have it
back again, and able to withhold it from everyone else no matter what
their need or plans for its use.

      Are you up to that job?

      "Get over it, whimp" won't cut it.


Thu Sep  7 02:42:33 EDT 2006

Mon Dec 26 03:28:51 EST 2016