God's first thought upon waking up from native state was "This is
too good to be true."

      He's been worried about it ever since.

      The real hidden standard is: can you face your future with
assuredness, aplomb, equanimity, poise, eternal good humor, honor,
dignity, self possession, and peace?

      Can you face your eternal future without fear or worry, or hatred
or anger, and without whistling past the graveyard?

      Can you even conceive of 'my future is endlessly beautiful'?

      With everyone else hanging on their crosses begging to die?

      The guy who has a problem with getting better probably has a
problem with BEING better.

      You see?

      He is worried about not being worried any more.

      That scares the hell out of him.

      How human is that?

      He worries that perhaps you can have too much peace.

      He considers that he lost his sovereignty, but he can't recompose a
sovereign intent to lose his sovereignty, if only for a while.

      He is not sure he WANTS to.

      That's too much power, being able to all your power on purpose.


      The purpose of sovereignty is to create whiles of non sovereignty.

      But he forgets he did it, that he chose to forget that he chose to

      Thus he considers something or someone else CAUSED him to lose his
sovereignty, which puts him at effect.

      This creates an ARC break with being an effect, rather than a love
affair, and thus also an ARC break with cause, namely the other cause
that put him at detested effect.  He considers that he didn't choose,
that he didn't consider, that his consderations are not cause.

      That IS non sovereignty, even if its only an apparency.

      But it is an apparency that can only be vanished by recomposing the
sovereign intent to create the apparency.

      The way in is the way out.

      But what human can recompose the intent to become human?

      No human would become human willfully.

      A God might, for a while, but not a human.

      He finally gets STUCK at fear of worsening and being an effect
because of his intent to return in like kind to the one he considers put
him here at effect in the first place.

      He is trying to make what caused him to be an effect into an effect
itself, to punish, teach a lesson, or to just get rid of FOREVER AND
EVER AMEN, and that dramatization to make another cause into an effect,
is enough to cement into place his postulate that he is in fact an
effect of a cause greater than he is.

      He wants to be a cause greater than it to make it into an effect,
and failing that he becomes just sure it is a cause greater than he is.

      The more forever he wants to make this other cause into an effect,
the more forever he remains an effect due to his own postulate that he
IS an effect of another cause, hates it, and must DO something about it.

      He just couldn't ever forgive and let the revenge go, you see?

      Thus hells last exactly as long as people dramatize forevers and

      Then he figures, should he ever regain his sovereignty back again,
by hook or by crook, and considering the auditor in front of him,
probably by accident, there will still be his original opponent, his
Nemesis One, ready to kick him back into the abyss again.

      What good is freedom if there is something freer and bigger than
you are who will just make you unfree again, like it did the first time.

      What good is getting out of prison, if they just catch you put you
back again, this time under closer guard, perhaps never to get out

      Better to stay in prison, bide your time, until you know for sure
if you break out, that you can stay out.

      It's a good game for a God become human, to imprison forever,
and to escape prison forever.

      But he can't even remember WHY he is in prison, he has lost the
context of his existence as a precious, fragile and unique human being,
living in a meat grinder called Killer Pit, and he knows he has no hope
of returning to freedom without recreating fully that context that got
him into prison in the first place, and somewhere, somehow changing his
mind along the way about going the distance with the program to do him
in forever.

      Surely he could have changed the course of things somewhere back
there, eh?

      If only he could find it, he could change it now, rewrite history
from that point on and become free of of its encrusted consequences.

      In the meanwhle, he has mustered up a lot of power, energy and
force over the matter of escape and defense once he is out, preparing
and trying to fight that which 'put him at effect'.

      Thus his concept of regaining his sovereignty is a little like
busting out of jail, better to be armed to the teeth when he breaks out
and firing away, in case the jail is surrounded by guards ready to throw
him back in.

      Sovereignty is the ability to create power or not at will, that IS
power and ability.

      So he has all this power and fight mocked up about having lost his
sovereignty and now he is armed to the teeth with more power and fight
to shoot his opponent should he break free, lest his opponent have a
moment's free thought to jail him again.

      He thinks he doesn't know WHAT jailed him the first time, so he
figures he will need time to figure it out, take it all in, once he is
out of jail.

      He feels he can't get reoriented to where and how he is until he is
out and can remember again or at least look at where and how he is.

      "Oh right, Devil's Island on Earth, Jesus how could I forget."

      He's gotta look around him, see if he even recognizes the land
scape, what jail he is in etc, just a microsecond or two, but that's too
much time if the opponent is watching and well armed you see?  I mean he
lost the last time around, he's in jail now right?  Just so, he figures
this opponent is bigger and faster than him and WAITING for him to break
out, with an eye on him 24x7.

      This is in part why people don't exteriorize easily they don't
dare, and once they do, the go right back into prison and slam the hole
behind them, so they can't get out again by accident, until they are
damn well ready.

      This is of course entirely insane as insanity is the effort to stop
what you consider you didn't start.

      He feels no slightest point of responsibility for being in prison,
whether he 'deserved' it or not, and no slightest point of
responsibility for having CHOSEN to forget the where, how and why of his
present predicament.

      How can sovereignty lose sovereignty through anything except

      And more importantly, how can sovereignty cause the persisting
APPARENCY of non sovereignty, for in truth sovereignty can not be lost,
only hidden to awareness under a refusal to operate it and grant it

      Thus Justice reigns at all times, because Justice is you get
what you postulate.

      So how and why does a being postulate that he doesn't get what he
postulates and thus injustice reigns at all times.

      No one caused him to lose his sovereignty, he CHOSE, and not under
duress, nor a power fight, nor anything at all, it was in fact a quiet
choice made in the middle of the void, no fan fare, no fireworks, no
nothing actually, he just kind of slid into non sovereignty on purpose,
like a drag racer puts his car into first and lazy's out onto the
circuit, where suddenly and apparently forever more, he has to floor it
to keep out of the way of the bullets.

      And this is the way he will regain his sovereignty believe it or
not, no WOW, no marvel, no surprise, no delight, no gratefullness, no
thankyous, no kudos, just a quiet choice to undo a quiet choice.

      Full responsibility for condition knows no thankyou, it is smug as
hell, even responsibility for irresponsibility.  Once awareness of
responsibility is regained, unspeakable composure comes with it.

      Take the car out of first and put it into neutral and let it coast
to an eternal standstill.

      "Sovereignty is perfectly happy, alone, forever and beyond

      The law of Saviors is,

      If you are grateful for having been saved, you aren't."

      From Adore.

      Now that is poise, self possession, and self esteem at the top.

      If he messes up clutching the transition back to sovereignty he
may laugh his head off for a month, but that's a red tag.

      Back to Qual, learn how to operate the clutch smoothly, in and out
of sovereignty.

      "I am forever." -> "Gulp, who made me and why?" -> "I am forever"

      Skill and eternal WILLINGESS in that cycle is a fully operational
Operating Thetan.

      E/P: Peace hidden by fun and terror.


Thu Aug  6 01:02:25 EDT 2015