Postulates of desire are like Janus, the two faced god of the
Greeks, who had one face facing one way and the other face facing the
other way.

     The postulate that "I want" facing the future implies the EARLIER
postulate that "I don't have" facing the present and the past.

     Which then is the ruling postulate, the one that says you want, or
the one that says you don't have?

     The way to postulate that you have something is to postulate that
you have something, not to postulate that you don't have it and must go
looking for it.

     MEST universes works that way, you gotta WORK for things, time IS
the separation between desire and havingness and produces a game.

     But to then allow this into your home universe and your
relationships with other people and even your own body is folly.

     The fat person mourns "I am fat and need to eat less in order to
lose weight."

     The ruling postulate is always the first postulate.

     Which is the ruling postulate, I am fat, or if I eat less I will
lose weight?

     What would happen if the fat person instead mourned "I am so
scarily skinny, I need to eat more or I will vanish into nothing!"

     And then lived by it.

     Well the meatball would say they would just get fatter and fatter,
until they blew up, but not if their metabolism went up.  What's keeping
it down eh?

     I guarantee you metabolism is kept down by some Janus postulate

     In the waking world we find it hard to apply this kind of logic to
unwanted conditions, but every unwanted condition is none the less a
misapplication of the magic, the Janus factor, of postulates.

     In sleep dreams have you ever wished you could find a girl to get

     So you go looking for girls, and they are all cold, ugly, nasty,
lesbie, old as sin, crusty, got mustaches, spiders and bugs crawling out
of their pussies or eyes, or just TOTALLY absent, the whole city is
filled with little old guys in white lab coats doing the most BORING
conceivable things.

     That place is so depressing you can't even get it up to whack off,
let alone take an easy breath without pain.

     Which way to turn?

     Gotta go, can't go, nowhere to go.

     Not only are you not going to get laid in that dream, no one in the
entire city WANTS to get laid.

     That's a postulate loop gone out of control, right into total
saturation, the more you want, the less you got.

      Crucifixion is held in place by nails of desperation.

      "You are crucified on the cross of being cross while you are
crucified." -

      So not a layable girl in sight and in your effort to look for and
find one, you become exhausted and despondent about your desire.

      This is depression.

      You see the dream is cooperating with you utterly, you said I don't
have a girl, so I must go LOOKING for one.

      I would say good luck chump, except you are being a Sourcer at
his best.

     How much magic does it take to arrange for NO GIRLS EVER?

     So what works in dreams, if you want to get laid, is to simply sit
down and be still no matter where you are, no matter how uninviting your
surroundings are, and simply be there, close your eyes, and feel the
girls come out of the wood work and throw themselves on you.

     You gotta close your eyes so you don't see how they do it, or they
come from behind you, and say 'Hi there" or touch you softly and you
look around and there's a whole bevy of them snuggling up.

     I turned my entire dream life around on this one point, if I want
something, I had better NOT go looking for it.

     It doesn't always work, but it works 95 percent of the time, which
was better than the 100 percent failure rate I was suffering during my
desperate searches for them.

     Remembering to just sit still in a dream, no matter where you are
can be hard.

     Thus there is suffering.

     I used to suffer from endless nightmares of total lonliness, no one
would talk to me, I didn't know which way to turn as no direction was
better than any other direction, just total aloneness at the end of the
road in all directions no matter how many people were around me, they
just didn't want to have anything to do with ME.

     Look for, look for, look for....

     Wander, wander, wander...

     Search for, search for, search for...

     Wondering why, wondering why, wondering why...

     What's it, what's it, what's it...

     Was I really that unattractive that the WHOLE WORLD tried to
pretend I didn't exist, wouldn't look at me, and resented my interest in
them or need for their return pride, admiration and affection?  Or was
it just my mother?

     I would reach out to touch a girl and they would snarl at me and
show their demon teeth.

     "Here little girly girly girl, nice little succubus..."

     Then somewhere in that dessert of desperation and devastation I
figured it out, the postulate that I didn't have and must look for was

     It wasn't the postulate that if I looked I wouldn't find that was
operating, it was the postulate that I didn't HAVE.

     I tried at first to change the postulate that I wouldn't find, I
said, ok postulate work, I will go looking for girls and I WILL find
them.  Nope.  Nothing but little old wrinkled men in white coats doing
boring things for as far as the eye could see.

     Or vast endless hallways and rooms of *OLD* women sewing and
knitting.  You know how desperately boring that is?

     Off the infinity scale.

     I was no more suicidal than the dream where I thought I had to live
for the rest of time with nothing but old women and old linen to look
forward to.

     The minute I got into looking for, I felt myself committing to the
much bigger postulate that I didn't have, and that what I wanted
wouldn't just come to me.

     Why am I looking for girls when they might be coming for me?

     And if I keep moving, they will never find me.

     So I sat myself down in the dream and closed my eyes wondering what
would happen.  Within 10 seconds I was enveloped in more warm, soft,
young, beautiful, *FRIENDLY* girls than I could ever want.

     It's unbelievable what real friendliness is like.

     And CO ATTRACTION went through the roof.

     They loved me and I loved them, and we were able to touch freely
without getting into sex.

     There is nothing like 12 year old booby in one's dream life, to
heal the soul.

     The intent of the SP is to destroy facility in intimacy.

     There is something seriously wrong with this waking civilization we
live in, no wonder it wants to blow it's self to Kingdom Come with war.

     And so now we know how heavens are built.

     I said to myself, you know there has got to be a posting in this
somewhere.  (There have been many).

     Since that time, about 5 years ago, I have turned my dream life
completely around, gotta cycle through bugs to get to babes, with way
stops at hydra tornadoes, vulcanism, rolling 200 mile an hour
pyroclastic flows, tsunamis, rising water, and nuclear holocaust, with a
suffocatingly lonely night thrown in once in a while, but it's all just
a lesson in flinch, cringe and postulates.

     Sometimes girls don't show up but gay boys do, always trying to get
their little fingers up my ass.  I have learned to slap their hands
down, tell them they can cuddle up if they behave, but for every one of
them I need at least 3 girls to show up too.

     I don't always get them though, sometimes the girl factory is
simply down for a while.

     Each layer of dream life becomes more hellish until the lessons are
learned at which point it goes heavenly.

     Then we do it all over again at the next level up.

     Some times I do the bugs to babes thing in one night, usually its a
night per way stop with sometimes intervening nights of no gain, as the
suppression of the next level is just too deep.

     But it always eventually blows open.

     Bugs are death and hell, babes are life and heaven, its pretty
simple really.

     Lots of ways to die, very few ways to live.

     Bugs are facsimiles of GE's after they die, the babes, well I have
no clue but there are zillions of them.

     Hell and heaven, around and around we go, until all gone followed
by Eternal Omni Awesome peace.

     This is what happens to us when we die by the way, might as well
run it out now while we are still alive.  That's all auditing is.

     Thus to run out whatever is ruining your pc one needs to minimally
address the subjects of

     NO SEEKING       - SEEKING.

     Pity the poor truth seeker.

     Remember NO means pretended none-of on the CDEINR scale.

     If its a real none of, the NO ITEM will float when called.

     IF there is NO READ on ITEM, or READ on NO ITEM, that means there
is something there.  Audit NO ITEM until ITEM reads, then go back and
forth remaining in sync with the alternating blowoff between them NO


     Now we all know that we can't just sit back and have the world come
to us, waking rules are not the same as dream rules, even though the
waking state is also a dream.

     In the MEST universe we wanted a serious game, MEST is still trying
to prove it is more real than we are, that we in fact came from and are
made of MEST, so havingness can't just come out of the woodwork.

     But service fac case conditions still can, and so can human
relationships and mis relationships, up to a point.

     In spite of the rigidity of the MEST universe and the fact that
everything must come from somewhere else before it comes to us, (girls
can't just materialize out of the wood work, they gotta come from
families etc,) there is still a lot of wiggle room for the magic of
postulates to work.

     The successful person knows how to wiggle rather than go solid like
a rock.

     Despair = Rock.

     And our cases, stuck conditions, symptoms, conditions, and our
involvements with and relationships to our body and others are pure
Janus factor operating in pure justice.

      Justice means you get what you postulate.

      That's big statement, dig and don't leave it.


Homer Wilson Smith     The Paths of Lovers    Art Matrix - Lightlink
(607) 277-0959 KC2ITF        Cross            Internet Access, Ithaca NY    In the Line of Duty

Fri Nov 30 01:55:02 EST 2007