The reason why we study what the soul desires, is because fair
chosen violations of that desire make the soul sick.

     A preclear comes in and is complaining about this and that, all
kinds of horrible somatics, conditions, and disintegrations of his body,
heart, mind and soul, from the inside out, and he wants you to do
something about it.

     Well before you can do anything about something you have to know
why the condition exists in the first place, and in this case the sum
total answer for why the pc is suffering is fair chosen violation of

     He wanted something and made it so he couldn't have it, or he
didn't want something and made it so he had to have it.

     Now it might be all well and good to know that your pc is suffering
from the exact pattern as he created it long ago, but you will never
recover the decisions to be sick, accident prone or unable, until you
recover the reasons WHY the pc made these decisions.

     Finding and recognizing the correct why opens the door so the pc
can reevaluate the efficacy of his decisions, and perhaps change his
mind to a kinder, gentler future.

     The why has to do with the pc's fundamental desires, and his desire
for the chase.

     Chase is time placed between conception of what he wants and having
it, and turns desire into a game.  As long as the pc can chase, he will
tend to put his energies into chasing rather than making himself sick.

     But if you stop the pc cold in his tracks, so he can't even limp in
the direction he needs to go, he will start to put his energy into
making himself sick, disabled, and incompetent in a final last bid to
get others either to leave him alone or to help him rather than harm

     Some people just can't stand able beings around them, and as long
as a being remains able, others will try to stop him and make him

     The only way some people can feel useful is if other's feel useless
and need to be helped.

     So in the presence of this kind of suppression, the being's
solution is to make himself just unable enough to assuage the worries of
the others who are suppressive to him, so that they will let him be to
get on with his goals and maybe even help him get there.

     What state do you have to be in for a suppressive to help you?

     Your pc doesn't care how damaged the chase may be, as long as he
can limp in the right direction dragging one leg behind him, he will
feel fine and get on with it.

     But the moment he is stopped cold, then he has to start chopping
his feet off, get into a wheel chair, have little old ladies push him
around, until it's ok again with others for him to head where he wants
to go.

     Once he has his chase back, he will chase.  But if his chase is
stopped, then he starts to chase the chase, by making himself sick.

     He has entered the game of games, which means having a game has
become itself a game which he can lose, and thus he must fight to keep
his games going.  He does this by limiting himself to an acceptable
level of non functionality so that others will let him be or help him

     He will play the game of games by ending it as soon as possible AT
ALMOST WHATEVER COST, so he can get on with the game he wants to play.

     Playing the game of games is not playing the game he really wants
to play.

     Time's a wasting, he's gotta get on with it, people are hanging on
crosses, he's got work to do, you see?

     So he pays the cost of passage willingly and with great design.

     How sick do you have to be, before others will try to make you

     That is exactly how sick you are.

     Your pc is floating on the tone scale in the safe zone between
being more able and in real danger from suppressives, and being more
unable and in real danger from well, being unable.

     If a being gets too unable he becomes insufficient to his own
survival and eventually everyone else becomes insufficient to his
survival too.  It becomes a slow death from there on out.

     It's the safe point between being too able and too unable that is
called being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

     Now when the pc comes into the room, he is all crumpled up by his
own desires and views in contention.  Remember a being has to believe
his own limitations to make them stick and be believable to others.
Thus he is suffering from that collision between his true desires and
the world view he had to create around himself to make himself sick
enough to survive.

     His most general computation is: the way to survive is to succumb a

     His world view is simply all the beliefs that he has created about
anything and everything, and it is this belief set that is in dis accord
with his desires, and thus making him sick.

     Sickness is inverted love, you crush love down, break its back,
invalidate it, and it feels like pain.  It is still love but it has been
enturbulated into disharmony and suffering.  Once the crush is relieved,
it springs back good as new.

     You can't fight it by the way, crushed love forms the Kundalini
Snake in the spine.  You are either crushing it utterly, or letting it
flow.  There is no in between because it will rip you to pieces.

      Stopping love is like stopping the Mississippi.  There are

     Refusing to cry is refusing to love, because sorrow is love is
sorrow is love.

     The crush is caused by what the guy desires colliding with what the
guy has chosen to think is true, or possible.

     The collision makes a huge ridge like two galaxies crashing into
each other, and there he is walking around in this cosmic disaster area
calling it his life.  It certainly is his headaches and every other
illness he can think of.

     If he's a Black V, he has no future at all he is willing to

     A black V is someone whose imagination is blocked to a point where
they can not mockup for their own viewing pleasure clear sensations of
vision, sound, touch, taste and smell, not to mention motion, feeling,
and few hundred other conscious experiences.

     At the bottom of the well of mortal sorrow there is just a
bottomless pit of anguish and blackness that no one can confront, born
of a belief in death that is just more blackness and nothing thereness.

     That is what a black V is looking forward to.

     The joke is, if they would just dive into that blackness at the
bottom of sorrow, they would find laughter and love.  But they would
have to give up the belief in death and hell forever first.

     So you put him into session and what are you going to run on him?

     Well that's a hard question, you are trying to audit a god after
all who has found safety as a worm on a stump looking into the maw of a
swooping hawk.  You are going to mess around with that powder keg?

     Well yes we are, and one possible way of doing this is to simply
audit desire and view until the pc starts to understand that he feels
miserable because he believes miserable things about the universe,
himself and others.

     Worse, feeling miserable is somehow HELPING him not feel MORE
miserable, he has become preemptive about it.  Since you are going to do
me in, I might as well do me in first, so you might leave me alone as
mostly dead anyhow.

     Your pc is below numb on the tone scale, so he is asking what could
possibly make me feel this bad, and he certainly doesn't remember any
fair chosen decisions to be sick in the past or the present.

     He is addicted to doctors, who deal with the pain on a symptomatic
basis, and not on a source basis.  And believe me it has NOTHING to do
with what you eat.  You are not what you eat, and the next time you run
into someone who insists you are feeling bad because of what you eat,
turn around and run away as fast as you can.

     Or eat them.  That will be one less idiot spewing lies in the
world, and you might actually feel better.

     Not from WHAT you ate, but WHO you ate.  :)

     Yes you can be allergic to certain foods, milk, wheat, meat, glutin
etc, but why are you allergic?  Where did that come from?

     Genetics?  Oh, you hope, you pray...

     Anything but confront that endless damnation you call a future.

     Your job then is to bring him up above numb, where he can see cause
and effect and start to handle the mess himself.  Then you will be out
of a pc.

     Now look you do NOT want to tell your pc what he desires, because
that is evaluating for the pc in session, even though you may know damn
well what it is.  He is too far gone into impossibilities to accept
anything you might tell him anyhow.

     You also do not want to tell him that he chose the beliefs that he
has in order to deal with a bigger problem.

     But you do want him to start looking at what he does believe about
things and how that belief makes him feel even if it takes a week for
the thud to hit him.

     You know a person can get real on death for a single moment and get
whopping sick 3 days later.  There is just no association in the guy's
mind between cause and effect.  He thinks he 'caught a bug' from someone
or something.

     All he caught was a tainted world view, and it wasn't recently.

     Beliefs act like slow bombs, you just never know what hit you after
the damage is done.

     Your job is to get him able again to see cause and effect between
belief and how he feels, and then let him sort out the rest of it.

     So one way to audit this is simply to ask the pc what he believes,
and then ask him how he feels about that.  Then ask him if he can
imagine a more preferable set of beliefs that wouldn't make him so sick.

     He may not BELIEVE those more preferable beliefs for a long while,
but he will at least see that he is sick because of what he believes and
that the only way to stop being sick is to start believing something

     He will at the very least stop complaining about not knowing why he
is sick.  He may stay sick and continue to believe what he believes, but
he will damn well know why he is sick and be able to look at it again.

     You see he has taken responsibility, 'Yeah I feel sucky because I
believe the world sucks!  Duh.'

     That is one hell of a lot higher tone than the 'Why do I feel
sucky?' case.

     He will now also be motivated to look a bit deeper to see if
possibly he might be wrong about some of those beliefs, because he sees
that the payoff of changing those beliefs to something better is too
great to ignore, and eventually he will look at possible times he
created those beliefs IN ORDER to make himself sick if indeed that ever

     But none of this is important, all you want out of your pc is a
recognition that he feels sick because he thinks sick, sick things about
the universe, the Cosmic All, the AllThatIs.

     The rest of it will audit out on its own without you.

     A clear knows what he wants and can make himself sick at will by
choosing to believe something stupid.  Perhaps someday he will again
need that ability, but if he does hopefully he will put a sunset clause
or a timer on it, so he doesn't get stuck with it forever like he did
this time around.

     As it is, you, the auditor, ARE his sunset clause, his Messiah
Postulate, so do your job well.

     A Messiah Postulate is where the pc says 'I am going to mess myself
up now, and I won't be able to help myself out of it, but somehow,
someday, somewhere someone will come along and help me out of it, for

     For most, it has been a LONG time between then and now.

     Now as an auditor it is very important that you have cleaned up
your own case and know not only what you want but also what your pc

     A clear is someone who knows what he wants.

     An auditor who is below numb himself and can't place cause and
effect will have a very hard time dealing with a pc who is suddenly
getting better than the auditor!  Low tone people can't stand other's
getting truely better than them, and that includes auditors.

     The auditor is supposed to give the pc the willies, when the pc
starts giving the auditor the willies, its time to turn the chairs

     Remember there is not only an Auditor's Code but also a PC's Code.

     Where the auditor's code says never audit your pc over his level of
reality, the pc's code says never allow an auditor to audit you over
your auditor's level of reality.

     OK, so we have the following analysis for your careful


     Subtle errors in seeking what the conscious soul desires can lead
to disaster and a dwindling spiral of unwillingness.

     The soul wishes to be what it is, thus any error in detailing what
it is, will act as a wrong indication and thus drive the soul down tone.

     Thus any auditing directed at cleaning up what the soul desires and
does not desire will go a long ways towards restoring the soul to it's
pristine state.

     For example, the soul does NOT wish to be immortal and live forever
in time, but does desire to be eternal and exist forever outside of
time, as long as he is ALSO allowed to create or enter sojourns in time

     "No one lives forever where there is time.  Everyone lives forever
where there is no time.  Hurry is a waste of time." - Adore

     Outside of time is a state of eternal unimpingeable SLEEP, not a
state of always on, which is an unconfrontable hell of magnitude.

     The soul does not wish to engage in a single infinite time stream,
the soul wishes to engage in an infinite number of finite time streams,
called whiles.

     Whiles are finite spans of dream space and dream time which
completely erase, as if they never were, at their end.

     Being inside of time for a while leads to dreams of escapade, or

     There can be whiles within whiles within whiles, where inner whiles
can make it look like outer whiles are done and gone, but they aren't.

     When a being is inside multiple levels of whiles, he will be seeing
the present while through all the eyes and whiles he came down through.

     The present universe you are inhabiting is multiple whiles in.

     The soul thus sleeps forever in eternity, and dreams for a while in
dreams of space and time in endless cycles of unmanifestation and
manifestation followed by unmanifestation again.

     Nothing of prior whiles persists across the trans eternity
boundary.  That includes memory, lessons learned or other means of
enslavement, or abilities gained or lost.  Once a top level while ends,
its gone as if it never were.

     Since all whiles end, all hells and heavens must end one day with
them.  The only thing that lasts 'forever' is people and peace.

     Lucidity means knowing one is dreaming.

     The most awake a being can get is utterly asleep in the folds of

     The more the soul is conscious and 'awake' in a dream, thinking
the dream to be actual, the more asleep the soul is.

     The soul desires to be able to have dreams where the soul does not
know it is dreaming,

     And the soul desires to have dreams where it believes that the soul
itself is made of dream stuff.  Thus the soul can engage in dreams of
mortality and fear the worst for a while.

     You will want to ask why an eternal being would ever want to dream
that it was immortal (in time) and headed toward suffering forever, or
mortal and headed toward incipient carrion.

     Why would an eternal soul choose to lose sight of it's eternality?

     We leave the question up to the reader as a homework problem.

     Remember questions can kill you or leave you suffering forever,
particularly questions about death forever and hell forever.

     The soul, which can not get lost nor be destroyed, nor suffer
forever, is daring.  Don't get in its way.

     The soul understands Buddha's last words:

     Death and decay are inherent in all compound things, seek ye
diligently therefore thy salvation.

     The soul is not a compound thing, but desires to pretend it is for
the sake of games of fragility.

     The soul takes particular delight in the game called fragile
immortalities, that's when the soul is immortal in time, except if...

     Biologists seeking to make the human body immortal are playing this

      At the top of the dream state, the soul lives in the world of Dura,
but likes to engage in the world of Sabe (sa-bay).  In Dura nothing can
be lost, in Sabe everything is always lost.

      In Sabe, all beauty ends one day, leaving only ugly behind.

     It may look like its forever, but one day even ugly is lost too, as
ALL whiles must end.

     The soul desires to be sovereign forever and non sovereign for a

     The soul desires to be able to have things in the mere conception
of them.  That defines sovereignty, you want it, you got it.

     But the soul also desires to be able to insert chase and time
between the conception of something and the attainment of it.  Needless
to say chase and time are inserted by the mere conception of them.  :)

     Chase results from conceiving limitations on the ability to have in
the mere conception of things.

     The soul desires that chase be dance and also game.  As dance,
there is no chance of losing, but as game there is.

     The soul desires that truth cause vanishment of manifestation, and
that lies cause persistence of manifestation.

     Every manifestation is surround by an artfully designed package of
lies that continue its manifestation in persistence.

     Loss is the persistence of not having.

     Loss is a low tone enforcement of the high tone basic truth of not
having because it hasn't been created yet in the first place.

     A timeless native state being doesn't have anything because he
exists in total unmanifestation.

     A top scale being in time can have anything he wishes in the mere
conception of things.

     A bottom scale being in time can't have anything he wishes no
matter what.

     Bottom scale is an enforcement of native state.  In native state he
has choice about not having.  At the bottom, his choice is to not have
any choice about anything for a while.  The Hubbard tone scale calls
this total failure.  'A thetan can fail utterly...' - LRH

     A thetan is a being.

     All aberration is enforced basic truth.

     Below that a being dies slowly like a candle going out in a bottle
with no air.  At the bottom of the tone scale is spiritual death.

     Don't worry, it's only for a while.

     But it can be a god damn awful long while, so watch it.

     Lie sets are the mechanism of persistence of loss.

     Lie sets are beautiful even though the loss they cause may seem to
not be beautiful to the being suffering the loss.

     The beauty of what was lost is shifted to the beauty of the lie set
causing the loss, thus beauty is conserved at all times.

     But the being suffering the loss, is no longer aware of the lie
sets causing the loss, and thus he is no longer in contact with the
beauty of what is causing his loss, and no longer in contact with what
he lost.  That's why it is lost.

     But the loss persists, the LOSS is not lost.

     Thus in having the loss of beauty in the time stream, he continues
to have the beauty of loss above the time stream.

     Beauty is conserved.

     But the beauty remains hidden in an envelope of ugly.

     That ugly is time forever (hell forever), or no time forever (death
forever) and the apparency of no choice.

     All of which is fair chosen.

     The shift of the beauty of having to the beauty of not having is a
peacock's display of tragi comedy for the viewing pleasure of the rest
of the universe.

     If anyone's still up in the eternal balconies watching.

     The MECHANISMS of loss reflect the beauty of what was lost.  So
while the soul is in a time stream it can feel the loss, but those
observing from the outside can see that the beauty was never lost, just
shifted from having, to having a belief in can't having.

     But it isn't just a belief, persistence of loss has to be artfully
designed, and thus there is beauty to the mechanism by which the loss is
allowed to persist.

     Desire is constrained by view, as desired.

     Majesty is the sovereign desire that desire not be sovereign for a

     Majesty, Master of Jest, is born of Class.

     Souls desire to engage in loss in order to express their own beauty
to others who are watching.  Loss is a gift.

     The soul desires to give gifts of its own self beauty to others,
and receive like in kind.

     Any soul higher on the tone scale can see the lie packages of those
lower on the tone scale.  When the viewer's perception is clear and
correct, the beauty of the lie package will shine through and cause the
vanishment of the lie package and the loss it has entombed in the

     At that moment the gift is received by the viewer and the gifting
is complete, and the sufferer is relieved of their suffering.

     A soul can do this to another, or help another do it to himself.

     Either way, once viewed the lie package vanishes, and the beauty
and good humor in the sufferer is restored back to a state of having

     The pain and shame of loss blows off as laughter and tears.

     That's love.

     A day without laughter and tears is a day without case gain.

     How many more of those do you have before you hit the grave?

     The only way souls can see and engage each other is via limitation,
loss and persistence in dream time.

     Even Dura is below native state, but it is the desire to share
one's self love with others that leads to the creation of loss and the
world of Sabe.  It is fair chosen, it didn't have to be.

     "This is how much I love me and you, look what I am willing to do,
and look how cool it is..."

     Souls wake up from the top level snooze alone, they need to create
a first level manifestation and lie set in order to persist long enough
to open a communication channel to others.

     They have to make this "I am here and you are there" nonsense, and
make space and time hang around long enough to send a valentine across
the communication line they have built.

     This rock solid universe is built on a gossamer web foundation of
communication lines built from being to being as they entered the game.

     They have the persistence of smoke and a spider's web in the
breeze, but persistence it is none the less.

     The soul desires that the greatest beauty be self beauty, and the
second greatest beauty be the beauty of other's self love.

     The soul desires that humor be the resolution of all things.

     The soul desires that humor is the only kind justice there is,
and the only justice he will ever need, forever for real.

     Souls desire to engage in cycles of dischord and resolve.

     The soul desires to fly through space and time on the wings of
dicoms.  Dicom means Dichotomy of Comparable and Opposite Magnitude.
Beauty and Ugly, Light and Dark, Love and Hate, Good and Bad etc.

     The soul desires to be a good author more than a good character.
Good stories don't have only good people in them.

     The soul desires to engage in illusions of separation and permanent
but ludicrous demise: tragedy and travesty, miracle and majesty.

     The soul desires to invite and be invited.

     And most of all the soul desires to engage in infinite operating
pride towards the creation of divine magnificence.

     "Pegasus had wings of pride, eternal omni pride..."

     She awaits her flyers.


Homer Wilson Smith     The Paths of Lovers    Art Matrix - Lightlink
(607) 277-0959 KC2ITF        Cross            Internet Access, Ithaca NY
homer@lightlink.com    In the Line of Duty    http://www.lightlink.com
Tue Feb 24 02:13:00 EST 2009