WHAT DO YOU WANT? "Taking responsibility" has two distinct meanings. First it means to own up to having caused something that one might have been denying before. Dufus has been throwing his trash out the window on the street and when confronted with this by a neighbor Dufus says "Oh no, not me, that was Goober who did that." The hell it was. People who can't own up to what they did, and must find someone else to blame things on, are on a downward dwindling spiral that ends in a pit so deep there is no recovery. Well maybe some recovery. The second meaning of to "take responsibility" doesn't mean to own up to having caused the mess, but offering to go DO something about the mess, adding one's own cause into a pre existing situation in order to improve it. So you ask Goober if he is willing to go clean up the mess that Dufus made and he says "I am all over it boss!" and soon the street is clean again and stays that way. You see Goober took responsibility OVER the state of the street by adding his cause into a preexisting situation in order to make it better. Technically speaking Dufus should take responsibility FOR the mess, and Goober is taking responsibility OVER the mess. To take responsibility for something means to own up to having caused it. "The buck stops here, but then goes to my wife." To take responsibility over something means to add your own responsibility into an existing mess that you did not cause in order to improve it. So as you run the responsibility process, your pc (preclear) will realize he is denying responsibility for things he knows damn well he caused but hopes nobody else noticed, and trying to own up to things he didn't actually do, and also trying to not take responsibility over areas in life he could do something about. He will also be found to be trying to actually take responsibility over some areas in life that are so large they would swamp Hercules and Atlas working together. Ever notice the beaten look on his face? That's him trying to save the world and going into despair about it. There is actually a scale of descent in these matters, first the being denies having caused something he caused. At the top of the tone scale this is grand artistry in order to have a game. Lower down it is pure cowardice and fear of consequences. People will blame him for what he created. Lower down he will try to take responsibility for areas in his life that he did not create in order to make up for his prior messes. But he will try to take responsibility for something too big, fails, causes accidental harm instead, then starts to refuse responsibility for the harm and for other things in general and eventually ends up down tone with a parachute preparing to bungy jump into that pit we talked about above from which few return. They like to receive mail though, just drop it over the edge. So these matters of responsibility and no responsibility are a big deal to the spiritual journey of a being. And running the responsibility process in the background for a long time over many months and years will go a long ways towards keeping him oriented on the straight and narrow. He is trying to help, but ends up harming, or people claim that he has, and thus he gives up and starts to harm instead as that is what he seems to be good at. Now once your pc has had a few of those walls of pain turn on and run out, that we talked about in the last posting, and has had enough wins running responsibility that he sees pretty much how it all works, it is time to start him on the next process, which is to find out what he wants so bad. You run this simply with, "What do you want?" "What do you not want?" Not want means both what does he not care about, and what does he wish weren't there. "Get rid of goals" tend to clog a person who has already given up on a "put it there goal" which is much higher tone and creative. But both sides have to be run. He wants to save the world because they wouldn't let him put his paintings up in the park you see? So first you rehab his true desires, and then perhaps he will have a different view on saving the world and crushing himself under the weight of that alone. Now this is a long slow process, he will take hours to answer each auditing question, go deep into reverie, wander around in black sticky masses just endlessly until he comes up with another answer to the question. It still won't be the final answer, but each one will bring him closer and closer to the truth of what he really wants and what is really bringing him down. You know it has been said by LRH that finding a person's true desires in life would raise the dead, I just have to add that if you do, they won't stay around to help you afterwards because they will be off DOING the calling of their hearts shortly thereafter. Now it is beyond the conception of most people that anyone could want something and not know it any more. But what do you think is underlying all that pain you are in all day long? Genetics? Old Age? Man you got no concept of old, and believe me once the body dies, ALL those walls of pain will follow you to your next life. They are STRONGER in between lives, and one dives into another body in the hope of forgetting them all and numbing them out with the distraction of life. The problem is if you don't know what you want, then everything you are doing all day long must be pursuing something else. EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE IS GOING SOUTH WHEN YOU NEED TO GO NORTH. And you wonder why you can't breath. So running these two process in tandem will start to really fix a being up but good. Run "Spot something you are responsible for." "Spot something you are not responsible for." until he owns up to what he has done and stops owning up to what he hasn't done, both good and bad, and he is able again to take responsibility responsibly so that he can win rather than lose. Then run simply, "What do you NOT want?" "What do you want?" until he has something to take responsibility for and over, and his space straightens out, all the mental and emotional enturbulation smooths out, its like the ripples in the river just disappear, and he is suddenly feeling good again and he knows which way the river is running so he can swim in the right direction, rather than go around and around in endless eddies of sewage. This can be really quite startling. Make sure he pays you for that session before he leaves the room, because he won't be coming back. Homer P.S. Among other things what the being really wants back is his true Self. Eventually you will need to run "Spot NO Self." "Spot SOME Self." Denial of Self is much of what is killing him. You know he is getting close when the lights starting turning back on for him. Light is made of clear harmony, gorgeous beauty, majesty, love, admiration, respect and magnificence. Not to mention, cool, class, halcyon, sin-song, thrill and romance, adoration, pride and glory. If you aren't getting a mile wide smile out of this and lots of classy tears, you just aren't running it. Homer ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Homer Wilson Smith The Paths of Lovers Art Matrix - Lightlink (607) 277-0959 KC2ITF Cross Internet Access, Ithaca NY homer@lightlink.com In the Line of Duty http://www.lightlink.com Sun Mar 22 00:51:13 EDT 2009