WHAT DO YOU WANT?

      "Taking responsibility" has two distinct meanings.

      First it means to own up to having caused something that one might 
have been denying before.

      Dufus has been throwing his trash out the window on the street and 
when confronted with this by a neighbor Dufus says "Oh no, not me, that 
was Goober who did that."

      The hell it was.

      People who can't own up to what they did, and must find someone else 
to blame things on, are on a downward dwindling spiral that ends in a pit 
so deep there is no recovery.

      Well maybe some recovery.

      The second meaning of to "take responsibility" doesn't mean to own up 
to having caused the mess, but offering to go DO something about the mess, 
adding one's own cause into a pre existing situation in order to improve 
it.

      So you ask Goober if he is willing to go clean up the mess that Dufus 
made and he says "I am all over it boss!" and soon the street is clean 
again and stays that way.

      You see Goober took responsibility OVER the state of the street by 
adding his cause into a preexisting situation in order to make it better.

      Technically speaking Dufus should take responsibility FOR the mess, 
and Goober is taking responsibility OVER the mess.

      To take responsibility for something means to own up to having caused 
it.

      "The buck stops here, but then goes to my wife."

      To take responsibility over something means to add your own 
responsibility into an existing mess that you did not cause in order to 
improve it.

      So as you run the responsibility process, your pc (preclear) will 
realize he is denying responsibility for things he knows damn well he 
caused but hopes nobody else noticed, and trying to own up to things he 
didn't actually do, and also trying to not take responsibility over areas 
in life he could do something about.

      He will also be found to be trying to actually take responsibility 
over some areas in life that are so large they would swamp Hercules and 
Atlas working together.

      Ever notice the beaten look on his face?  That's him trying to save 
the world and going into despair about it.

      There is actually a scale of descent in these matters, first the 
being denies having caused something he caused.  At the top of the tone 
scale this is grand artistry in order to have a game. Lower down it is 
pure cowardice and fear of consequences. People will blame him for what he 
created.

      Lower down he will try to take responsibility for areas in his life 
that he did not create in order to make up for his prior messes.

      But he will try to take responsibility for something too big, fails, 
causes accidental harm instead, then starts to refuse responsibility for 
the harm and for other things in general and eventually ends up down tone 
with a parachute preparing to bungy jump into that pit we talked about 
above from which few return.

      They like to receive mail though, just drop it over the edge.

      So these matters of responsibility and no responsibility are a big 
deal to the spiritual journey of a being.  And running the responsibility 
process in the background for a long time over many months and years will 
go a long ways towards keeping him oriented on the straight and narrow.

      He is trying to help, but ends up harming, or people claim that he 
has, and thus he gives up and starts to harm instead as that is what he 
seems to be good at.

      Now once your pc has had a few of those walls of pain turn on and run 
out, that we talked about in the last posting, and has had enough wins 
running responsibility that he sees pretty much how it all works, it is 
time to start him on the next process, which is to find out what he wants 
so bad.

      You run this simply with,

      "What do you want?"

      "What do you not want?"

      Not want means both what does he not care about, and what does he 
wish weren't there.

      "Get rid of goals" tend to clog a person who has already given up on 
a "put it there goal" which is much higher tone and creative.

      But both sides have to be run.

      He wants to save the world because they wouldn't let him put his 
paintings up in the park you see?  So first you rehab his true desires, 
and then perhaps he will have a different view on saving the world and 
crushing himself under the weight of that alone.

      Now this is a long slow process, he will take hours to answer each 
auditing question, go deep into reverie, wander around in black sticky 
masses just endlessly until he comes up with another answer to the 
question.  It still won't be the final answer, but each one will bring him 
closer and closer to the truth of what he really wants and what is really 
bringing him down.

      You know it has been said by LRH that finding a person's true desires 
in life would raise the dead, I just have to add that if you do, they 
won't stay around to help you afterwards because they will be off DOING 
the calling of their hearts shortly thereafter.

      Now it is beyond the conception of most people that anyone could want 
something and not know it any more.

      But what do you think is underlying all that pain you are in all day 
long?  Genetics?  Old Age.

      Man you got no concept of old, and believe me once the body dies, ALL 
those walls of pain will follow you to your next life.

      They are STRONGER in between lives, and one dives into another body 
in the hope of forgetting them all and numbing them out with the 
distraction of life.

      The problem is if you don't know what you want, then everything you 
are doing all day long must be pursuing something else.

      EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE IS GOING SOUTH WHEN YOU NEED TO GO NORTH.

      And you wonder why you can't breath.

      So running these two process in tandem will start to really fix a 
being up but good.

      Run

      "Spot something you are responsible for."

      "Spot something you are not responsible for."

      until he owns up to what he has done and stops owning up to what he 
hasn't done, both good and bad, and he is able again to take 
responsibility responsibly so that he can win rather than lose.

      Then run simply,

      "What do you want?"

      until he has something to take responsibility for and over, and his 
space straightens out, all the mental and emotional enturbulation smooths 
out, its like the ripples in the river just disappear, and he is suddenly 
feeling good again and he knows which way the river is running so he can 
swim in the right direction, rather than go around and around in endless 
eddies of sewage.

      This can be really quite startling.

      Make sure he pays you for that session before he leaves the room, 
because he won't be coming back.

      Homer

P.S.

      Among other things what the being really wants back is his true Self.

      Eventually you will need to run

      "Spot NO Self."

      "Spot SOME Self."

      Denial of Self is much of what is killing him.

      You know he is getting close when the lights starting
turning back on for him.

      Light is made of clear harmony, gorgeous beauty, majesty, love, 
admiration, respect and magnificence.  Not to mention, cool, class, 
halcyon, thrill and romance, adoration, pride and glory.

      If you aren't getting a mile wide smile out of this and lots
of classy tears, you just aren't running it.

      Homer

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Wilson Smith     The Paths of Lovers    Art Matrix - Lightlink
(607) 277-0959 KC2ITF        Cross            Internet Access, Ithaca NY
homer@lightlink.com    In the Line of Duty    http://www.lightlink.com
Sun Mar 22 00:51:13 EDT 2009