CHOICE

       Copyright (C) 11/30/2009 Homer W. Smith
       Distribution Rights Granted for non commercial purposes.
       http://www.clearing.org/cgi/archive.cgi?/homer


     THE ADVANTAGE OF DISADVANTAGE

     It is without question that people desire things.

     It is also without question that many people, in the pursuit of
those desires, find themselves failing, and then limit themselves in
order to better attain those desires.

     The advantage of disadvantage.

     The child feels overwhelming feelings of unwantedness on the part
of his mother who was a roll of barbed wire with human skin pulled over
it.

     These feelings of unwantedness eventually color his entire life's
self image.  He can't concieve anyone or anything wanting him, except
those that are more unwanted than himself, and he doesn't want them
either!

     A being usually considers he can not survive in a forthright manner
in an environment of unwantedness amongst his own most significant team
mates.

     At first the child expresses his resentment, the parents respond
with suppression and invalidation:

     "How dare you talk to your parents that way, we are your PARENTS
after all, WE MADE YOU, and we are the only parents you got.  You on the
other hand are expendable, if we don't like you, we can get rid of you
and get another child anytime we want, we can make children forever for
free."

     The child sinks down into unexpressed resentment, anger, fear,
sorrow and apathy.

       Spot NO   expression.
       Spot SOME expression.

     DEBONDING CRISIS

     A debonding crisis is when a being goes into doubt about being in a
particular relation with another being, such as parent and child, or
being in any relation with them at all.

     The only times his mother showed any interest in the well being of
the child was when the child was suffering, so the child CHOOSES to
become sick, disabled, or accident prone and suffer.

     It brightens up mother for while, but then fails, and the child
starts to scheme his next ploy.  But the first attempt is never undone,
so the child remains sick for the rest of his life.

     After many years of this, the being will be found to be carrying
around layer after layer of different sufferings all created in order to
enhance his survival in the presence of suppressive teammates.

     Eventually he comes to not want them, and the debonding is
complete.  But in doing this he debonds with life and himself as he
leaves himself nothing worthwhile doing.

     It is impossible for a child to debond with his primary teammates
without losing the game of life.

     One runs this by running out all moments of unrequited wantingness.

       Spot NO   wantingness.
       Spot SOME wantingness.

       Remember NO means pretended no.

       Spot NO   unwantedness.
       Spot SOME unwantedness.


     THE DWINDLING SPIRAL

     It is also without question, that upon failure to attain various
desires, the being will forgot both his efforts to limit himself to
attain them and eventually the desire itself.

     He will then substitute a lesser desire for the first desire and
then repeat the whole cycle over again.

     The lesser desire will be that of a valence in his bank that he had
some sympathy for, he is doing a life continuum on them, thus he pulls
in an engram into chronic restimulation, and he feels the pain of it
every time he fails at the lesser desire.

     He is no longer living for himself, but living for another who also
failed or was harmed either by himself or others, but for whom he has
affinity, sympathy and regret for.

     His father, who was an academic scientist, got caught up in the
cross fire between the child and the mother, and now the child regrets
his debonding with father as collateral damage.

     The child started off wanting to be an artist, but failing that, he
does a life continuum on his father and so tries to become an academic
scientist.

     But he can't stand academentia and the marbles that populate it, so
he looks for another life continuum to shift into, but not before
considering it another major loss in his life that he couldn't continue
his father.

     This creates a dwindling spiral of tone, activity and
worthwhileness of life.

     After he finds himself doing a life continuum on 10 to 20 different
valences, all of which are now in total failure, he will find it hard to
get up in the morning.

     Each of the above steps downward in life is a choice that 'seems
like a good idea' at the time, although they will be bonded together
with extraordinary but pretty pieces of illogic.

     Eventually each layer of desire followed by limitation followed by
debonding is forgotten completely in his long ago.

     Since both the desire and the deployed limitations are forgotten,
the CHOICE to forget them is also forgotten.


     FORGOTTEN CHOICES

     Now this is important, because forgetting a choice also involves
another choice to forget the first choice.  This leads to an infinite
regression with a LOT of charge on it.

     Say the being makes choice A but wants to not know he has made
choice A.

     So he has to make choice B to forget choice A.

     But now he needs choice C to forget choice B.

     Then he needs choice D to forget choice C, and so it goes forever
and ever.

     If stretched out in time, this would of course take forever to
complete but the being can do this in a moment of eternity, all at once.

     He can make Choice A and the choice to not know choice A all at the
same time.  It still is an infinite regression and it still has an
infinite amount of charge on it.

     THE PROBLEM WITH ETERNALITY.

     The problem with eternality is getting lost and staying lost.

     "Rats, found again."

     Thrill is not knowing quite how bad its going to get.

     Romance is is thankfulness that one is not lost alone.

     The being has made an incredible choice.

     Incredibility is a Guardian Dicom.

     Guardian Dicoms guard a single item which is choice.

     His sense of repsonsibility has been nailed to the cross.

     These moments of forgotten choice are the nails holding him to his
cross.

     Thus recovering for the being these moments of forgotten choices,
also recovers for him his many contacts with eternity when he used the
Creator power of himself as the AllThatIs to not know his own
responsibility in the matter of not knowing.

       Spot NO   choice.
       Spot SOME choice.

     Thus he recovers awareness of responsibility for irresponsibility.

     Irresponsibility = 'I didn't choose this.'

     Once a choice made is recovered, he can then take back the choice,
and make another choice or no choice at all.

     And he recovers all that life energy he used to knock that choice
into oblivion and KEEP IT THERE.


     CREATOR AND CREATURE

     The way to become the Creator, is to BE the Creator BECOMING the
Creature.

     The Creator is ExTemporal or timeless, the Creature is Temporal or
timefull, lives in time.

     Creatures can still create, but they create with Creature intent
and not Creator intent.

     The intent of the Creator is to become the Creature, the intent of
the Creature is to become the Creator.

     The Creator suffers nothing but does not want to be a Creator, he
wants to be a Creature and suffer game and chase.

     The Creature doesn't want to be a Creature, he wants to be a
Creator and suffer nothing.

     The Creator is exercising Creator goals to become more Creature,
and the Creature is exercising Creature goals to become more Creator.

     That is the GodSoul in operation, GOD -> SOUL -> GOD -> SOUL...

     Forever and ever, Amen.


     THE WAY OUT IS THE WAY IN

     Trying to come in, puts you out.

     Practicing this for a while, makes you more able to be out and come
in.

     But while you are out, you can change your mind on the verge of
coming in, if you can stop laughing long enough, or veto it immediately
after you come in before you forget your choice to come in for good.

     Thus you get out and stay out to live another day.

     These choices made from eternity are not substitute desires made
from sour grapes because the being can't have what he really desires.

     These choices are what the being AS CREATOR really wants to do and
engage in, they are part of the chase in a game rougher than the
creature AS CREATURE would ever make for himself.

     What human would ever choose to be human?

     But the being as a Creator knows full well what he is doing and is
coming from a place of unfathomable power and willingness.

     Thus you have the joy of suffering.

     This may sound sick as sick comes, and at lower tone mockeries of
higher tone, it is sick, but if the choice is made from eternity, such
decisions are the operating sovereignty of the being, and manifest the
basic purposes of life which include, at least later on, seriousness and
chase.

     The being doesn't HAVE to engage in rough games, he can spend his
time in mere dances, but eventually the urge to get serious for while
will get him.

     We are all presently in such a serious while.

     If you fail to recover the aesthetics of the situation for your
precelar, his high appreciation for ludicrous demise, then your preclear
just hasn't gotten better.

     Better does not mean 'has learned a lesson never to do that again',

     Better means it never happened in the first place and willing,
eager and designing to do it again.

     "Wow, look what I can do, this is too cool..."

     Eternity erases the past as if it never happened.

     All lessons unlearned.

     No knowledge permanently gleaned, no record kept, no lesson
retained.

     The being does not need to know about the past to create a whole
new future.  If he did, it wouldn't be a whole new future.


     WHILE'S END

     Beings don't like to end whiles, they like to squeeze as much out
of their past as they can, while creating the future based on the past.

     In fact there is a good possibility your preclear will have already
ended the while he is in, won all possible games, was on his way out,
and said 'No way Lord, not yet.' and turned around and dove back in,
pretending he is still seeking the grand spring phrases, and fighting
for his life.

       "You seek the grand spring phrases,
        And so shall you find,
        For the True Lies will free you,
        To operate as you kind."  - Adore

     As you kind, means what you are kind to, that is as you desire or
care to.

     Within a while, of course, the future always depends on the past,
but from Eternity, the past is gone, it never happened, its the first
time you have ever been awake, and whatever happens is new.

     Thus forgiveness is possible.

     And necessary.

     End the while of guilt, and start a new one.

     "This dream ends forever when the circle of friends are all holding
hands again." - Adore

     But that ain't going to happen for a while :)

     Beings try to do this on a low tone mockery by taking on new
bodies, and pretending it is a clean slate, thus they have no memories
of their past 'lives', nor in between lives.

     Do you really want others to remember who you've been?

     Well the cost of making sure others can't remember you, is you
can't remember them or yourself either.

     It is part of the oblivion tar pit of Co-Excused Withholds.

     I won't complain about what you are doing to me in this life, if
you won't complain about what I did to you or someone like you in a past
life.


     APPARENCIES ARE ACTUALITY

     Coming down the tone scale, there is a point of no return, at least
for a while, until the being's Messiah Postulate is triggered and kicks
in.

     That point is called Apparencies are Actuality at 26.0 on the tone
scale.

       ELECTRA'S FREEZONE EMOTIONAL TONE SCALE
       http://www.clearing.org/cgi/archive.cgi?/electra/exm3.memo

     The cross over from above 26.0 to below is fair chosen with full
awareness of the consequences.

     Above 26.0 there are no surprises, below 26.0 everything is a
surprise from the word go.

     We say no surprises advisedly, because the very existence of
anything at all is an eternal surprise.  And everything manifested from
the top down is a surprise in that the being has no clue what he is
going to conceive of next.

     That he can conceive and what he conceives is an eternal delight
and the being engages in these 'gifts' with relish.  They are not
God given gifts, because he IS God at that point.

     Thus even God lives in wonder.

     Remember for a being who can create in the mere conception of
things, there is no pre planning of what is going to get created.  But
the being is always in control, he can always take anything back he
doesn't like, and he always knows where anything came from, even if he
had no clue what is was going to be before it came.  Interest, surprise
and delight are the fabric of creation at this level.

     But below Apparancies are Actuality, surprise turns serious and
worrisome, because the being no longer knows where things are coming
from, and he has lost his sense of sovereignty, so he has no clue what
might be created.

     And how the hell did those others get into his dream anyhow?

     Above Apparancies are Actuality the being knows that everything
comes from his own basic nature, so there would have to be perfect
accord between his sovereign desire and the WHAT IS.

     But below Apparancies are Actuality, certainty of accord is lost,
and doubt is self casting.

     He wonders who or what is in control, he feels he is not in control
AND NEVER HAS BEEN, and thus his desire might be in total opposition to
the WHAT IS, and for all he knows his final immortal fate is a trash can
at the end of the road.

     His doubt, wonder and worry conspire to make it so.

     You become what you fear and resist.

     Detested self images are the death of a being.

     REALITY AND ACTUALITY

     Reality is what people think is true, reality is the believed in
apparencies of life.  Reality is what is real to the being.

     Actuality is what is true.

     Above 26.0 on the tone scale beings know what is actual and what is
only real, an illusion.

     Below 26.0 the being believes his reality to BE actuality, that his
illusions are true.  Thus he has dropped into delusion about illusions (
not being illusions!)

     For example people generally believe there is space because they
see space.

     Above 26.0 on the tone scale, the being creates illusions of space
and knows they are illusions.

     Below 26.0 the being thinks that because he sees space, there must
be space.

     Above 26.0 the being knows that the AllThatIS is zero dimensional
and that there is 'no where to go'.  Thus the being is eternally
stationary and can not be moved.  The being is an Orientation point to
himself and he creates the apparencies (dreams) of spaces with objects
in them, that are symbols for what they stand for, and have mass,
meaning and mobility.  A dream car is not an actual car, but stands for
one.

     Below 26.0 the being believes that the space he sees IS the
AllThatIS, and that the being IS one of the objects in the space.
 
     Thus the space has become the infinitely stationary everywhere
present AllTHatIS, and the being has become a symbol that can move and
has to run and hide for its life.  This gives him the sense of being
lost and separate from others, because he is no longer in contact with
his home as creator of the space in the first place.

     And he is no longer in contact with the fountainhead of Source which
connects all beings as if one.

     His lover is grabbed by the Vikings and taken off across the seas,
and he has lost his cell phone.

     He has thus descended into delusion about illusion.
 
     The flip flop from Creator Orientation Point to Creature Symbol is
the flip flop from above 26.0 to below 26.0.

     The other illusion is that time, the while he is in, is infinite.

     It CAN'T be, all time whiles have a beginning and an end, and thus
his sojourn in any particular time must also be finite.

     Space time whiles are always finite in extent.

     But his dim memory of the infinity of Eternality convinces him that
SOMETHING is infinite, and since space and time are all he has at the
moment, it must be them.

     Doomed for good he is at that moment.

     Eternal extemporality above time which does exist, is not the same
as Immortal temporality in time which does not and CAN NOT exist.

     At this point he is dreaming his own dream, but no longer knows it
is a dream, or that he created it alone or in concert, or bought it for
a pretty penny, or stole it from another, and things can become very
serious.

     Seriousness results from the illusion of eternal persistence, which
of course is an oxymoron.
 
     Nothing of manifestation exists at all in eternity, but the
persistence of manifestation in a time while is absolute to the degree
that being can not uncreate a manifestation if he thinks he didn't
create it or couldn't have, or wouldn't have or shouldn't have created
it or agreed to it in the first place.

     Thus nothing can be uncreated by anyone below Apparencies are
Actuality on the tone scale, because there is no slightest sense of
responsibility for the creation of anything.  The highest that such a
being can conceive of is blame, and blame is not responsibility.  Blame
is flaw, responsibility is flawless no matter what it creates.

     Thus below Apparencies are Actuality things can only be destroyed,
busted apart, altered or not-ised by the use of force.

     Below Apparencies are Actuality, all manifested somethingnesses are
conserved.  Everything must have come from somewhere, and everything can
only go somewhere else.

     Above Apparencies are Actuality, manifested somethingnesses come
and go at the whim of the Conceiver.

     Above 26.0 is the realm of creation and as-isness.

     Below 26.0 is the realm of persistence, chase, games, alter-isness
and not-isness.

     At 26.0 is the cross over between Creator and Creature, and
contains the moment of forgotten choice of the Creator to become the
Creature.


     HUMAN AND OPERATING THETAN

     The being is a GodSoul, one coin, two operating mode sides.

     The Operating Thetan side is the God side.

     The preclear side is the Soul or human side.

     The difference between a human and an OT is only this:

     The OT says "I chose this."

     The Human says "I didn't choose this."

     Above 26.0 on the tone scale the being is an OT operating in
Creator mode.

     Below 26.0, the being is human operating in creature mode, whether
he has a body or not.


     AUTHOR AND CHARACTER

     The being's Creator function is the Author function, the one who
writes a story or a play, only in this case with myriad possible choices
and outcomes, because the being as Creature or Character has free choice
inside the story, bounded by his ignorance, temperament and natural
character limitations.

     By free we do not mean free from any and all determinism, such a
free will would be random and thus destructive, as there are more ways
to harm than to help.

     The beings choices are always a direct function of his basic nature
which are motivated by fine art.

     But by free we DO mean that the being can make a choice
undetermined by his past in the story, for better or for worse.  These
are called Prime Postulates.

     By free we do NOT mean that a creature is always free to chose what
he wants the way the Creator is.  We do mean that given his range of
choices, the Creature will always do what he wants and can, and he is
owned and controlled by his fundamental drives and desires.

     For example, he can only changes his desires if he desires to.

     So a free will always has two qualities:

     1.) Can be undetermined by the past of his story or experience.
The being is not a state determined machine, although most of the time
he is acting that way.

     2.) Always bound to his fundamental desires, limited only by
present time possibilities.

     The creature's sense of freedom is determined by whether he feels
'free' to pursue the desires and course of action he desires to.

     The creature always seeks to unlimit his present time
possibilities, the creator always seeks to limit his present time
possibilities within the constraints of a good game.

     THE ENDLESS VOLLEY

     Games that can't be won (are lost too easily) or can't be lost (are
won too easily) are not good games.

     Games that play forever are good games.

     That's the Endless Volley.

     Games that play forever are also impossible, and thus whiles must
end to create new whiles to make room for new games.

     When beings fail to win often enough at games they want to play,
they will try to cheat by making themselves limited so others must help
them or leave them alone.

     When that fails, they go out of valence into engramic life
continuums for others they admire but who also lost too heavily, and now
having caved the bank in on themselves permanently they are eventually
forced into insane evil whether real or imagined.

     "All the bad people that good people fight, are good people who
have given up the fight." - Adore

     Thus expect interesting times with your preclear.

     Homer

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Wilson Smith     The Paths of Lovers    Art Matrix - Lightlink
(607) 277-0959 KC2ITF        Cross            Internet Access, Ithaca NY
homer@lightlink.com    In the Line of Duty    http://www.lightlink.com
Mon Nov 30 22:34:23 EST 2009