> You are mistaking my intellectual glibness for pretended realization.
> Please don't.  I have lots of fear - but it is Bank fear, the fear
> locked up in in shocks and deaths and programming.

      I disagree, there is fear above and before 'bank'.

      Bank is facsimile track, engrams, impacts, ridges etc.

      WAY before any of that were violations of sovereignty, things
happening we couldn't track the cause of.

Yes, I have had some
> brief and vague glimpses of higher level authorship and some brief but
> profound glimpses of a liberating truth, but no, things are not OK by
> me.  Far from it.  Yet I don't have to be only in that viewpoint, and
> sometimes, rarely,  I'm not.

     So your body is not suffering with every breath like it was
breathing through razor blades?

     You drug free?

     My body is barely worth keeping alive, and aside from fear of death 
and the after life, and perhaps a little pride and interest in why it is 
so bad for me, and perhaps a little glory if I solve it, I see and feel no 
reason whatsoever to keep this body alive, and this body knows it.

     My cats I love, to pieces, my body I detest.

     It's sad because it knows it is not loved.

     Your body feel good?  Is breathing sufficient reason to be.  Do
you enjoy effort for its own sake?  Or does it feel like you
are trying to exercise a freshly broken arm?

     Been trying to forge a truce with my body, it hates me, I hate
E it, it's terrified to not have me around, I am terrified to not
have it around, it's terrified to HAVE me around, I am terrified
to have it around.

     People ask me 'How you doing homer?', I answer, 'Don't ask if you 
don't want to know.'

>>      Is the in between lives area benign or malignant.
> Malignant, if you believe it is something outside of yourself.

     Well from where I am looking EVERYTHING looks like it is something
outside myself.  Why would the after life be any different?  Maybe
the somatics get worse, and I need another body just to dull out the

     With what intention did you COME INTO THE BODY.

     Some noble intent to help others?

     That's garbage, why did THEY come in?

     Some desire to not be alone?

     Is the afterlife some hell of avichi, total empty dark aloneness?

     Did you come in from some screaming rage to get away from something or 

     What about others?

It is
> also malignant if you believe you have trapped YOURSELF in this
> scenario. In fact it is malignant as long as it exists as the apparency
> it seems to be.  It is only a benign nothingness when we have awakened
> from the dream of it.

     This doesn't make sense, the after life could be a good place, one 
where we have memory of where we came from, what we are doing here and 
some real purpose to coming back in rather than a high dive into hopeful 

     The after life could be to Earth like normal Earth life is to a 
prison.  Normal Earth life is pretty good compared to a prison.

     Or maybe the after life is burning lakes of sulfer forever for free, 
and we dive back into a body even with others already in it to once again 
engage in the belief that we can die forever this time around.

     Is mortal truely an escape from a detested immortality?

     It is one thing to have a body and know you have one and
plan to have others in the future.

     It is quite another to believe you ARE a body, and live once
and die once and that's it bud.

     It is also quite another to wake up from such total mortality,
only to feel you are doomed to do it again and again in the future.

     I am stuck in a trap called causes of comparable magnitude.

     Life as a mortal sucks, so what led to life as a mortal must
have sucked too in order to lead here.  How can good and peace
lead to suffering on a cross, begging to die and not being able to?


     Fine, at what level does the game become real with no way out given 
the understanding allocations of the game at that level?

> Not far at all - the truth is right here right now and can be nowhere
> else - zero dimensional as you know.

    Very glib, if we have come down 27 universes of hells within hells,
you expect to just bypass all that and go up the pole without handling
all the errors on the way down?

    We may be 'very close' to a true here and now, but there are 27 levels 
of dreams between us and that here/now that says that here/now doesn't 
exist and isn't a good place even if it did.

    And of course there is no way to see the here/now through the body's 
eyes, it would have to be an inward vision, which for me is black tar 
guarded by impentrable dicoms of incredibility, impossiblity, 
implausibility, no permission, and no recognition of responsibility WHAT 

It is consciousness itself.   The
> question is what is causing the illusion of entrapment, of suffering, of
> this whole dream of existence?  I believe it is the illusion of duality,
> self and other than self.

     I would reword that to duality of CAUSE.

Without that, the whole bank has no
> foundation and will collapse leaving only humor and peace remaining.

    What do you mean by bank?  Facsimile track?

> Without something to resist, and someone to resist it, what can
> persist?  You wrote a post about being everything.   You were on to this.

    Well the stupid birdies that drop shit in my ear to scribe for a 
gullible world were on to this.  Me my eyes hurt after scribing for them 
from rolling my eyes so much.

    The first break with sovereignty was long ago, If there ever was any 
sovereignty, long before facsimile track, that's for sure, and so what was 
the first item then that got us resisting into persistence rather than 
accepting to vanishment?

     How did the inversion happen?

     The little bird shot targets say the way in is the way out,
and the way out is to reduplicate the way in which was an act
of creating and then resisting to total failure.

     Perhaps if we could practice that we could hit central here/now
pretty quickly and let the whole bank as you say disintegrate from
the top down.

     The birdies call this inversion, looking at something and wondering
where the *hell* it came from, rather than looking at something and
knowing you are making it in the here/now and if you let go it will

     The key question is 'where did it come from', that is a sign
that the break in responsibility has already happened.

     Who or what would engage in such a 'ludicrous demise'.

     Oh yeah, the little birdies are all fucking Adorians too boot.

     'Halcyon is high appreciation for ludicrous (game) demise, bemused 
relief, on the verge of time'.


     Is that humor human?  Or is it alien?

     Is it ok to do something to ourselves, that NO ONE would ever
do to another?

     We are talking CRUELTY here.

      Is there a beauty to the native state intent towards self CRUELTY?

      I hear this stupid birdie catechism every Sunday.

      'The real sin is majesty and sin-song.

      Sin-song is to sing another source done wrong song.

      Sin-song is not sin as long as it is just song.

      Majesty is master of jest, ie eternal good humor born of mastery of
songs of sin and hidden joy.

      The only real sin is majesty and sin song.

      And majesty is born of such class as to make you want to sing songs
of sin forever for free." - Adore.

      The rest of the week my avian friends are off worshipping the

> So you too have had glimpses of a greater reality.  It may seem like
> there are a trillion iron mountains between where one is and one's
> optimal condition but that is a lie.  While it may take forever to run
> out the whole time track of the bank,  the bank is built on a foundation
> of lies - or perhaps a single lie.  One can get free in an instant and
> many have, but I haven't found a sure bridge to it, only the unlimited
> process of self-inquiry - '"what am I?".

      Well that is better than who am I?  I been running a lot of NOTS on
everything that moves, dreams are full of critters that fold up with
'Are you human?"

      What am I, who am I, WHERE am I, when am I, why am I, etc.

      Most of these are questions that should be run out as QUESTION
ASKING though.

      The answers to the questions are mostly bogus.

      The question asking itself is bad news on the bank and powers
the persistence.

> These are good questions Homer - I'm sure we'll all be surprised when we
> know the answers.

      Yes, but will we be happy, or will we be happy monsters?

      Assuredly if God created us and dumped us here, he would be a
monster, no doubt.

      The only hope that this all might be resolve into humor, is if we
did this to ourselves.

      But humor is like a candle flame, the slightest wind of monstrosity
puts it out cold and makes one want to LEAVE it out lest the monstrosity
finds us more easliy again, to put it out again.

      Humor is a dangerous fire to keep warm with in the dark night of
the soul.

      Ah fuck, cool computation, run it out R3SC.

Sun Dec  5 23:18:08 EST 2010