The way to happiness is a true confession.

Homer wrote:
>     It's not that the original being wanted to suffer.
>     Its more that he wanted to create himself as a being who was
>suffering but didn't want to suffer.

      These are very difficult issues, because you are asking a being to
accept that as a creator he WOULD create himself as a creature in a way
that he WOULDN'T create himself as that same creature.

      This creates a kind of schizophrenic split between the nature,
motivations and willingness of the creator, and the nature, motivations
and willingness of the creature.

      One can opine 'but the creature did wrong, so he deserves what he

      True enough, but did the creature know he was going to do wrong,
before he did, did he set it up as Creator to fail and fall, or is the
creature just fundamentally no good?  And if he is no good, how come
he is bringing all this suffering upon himself just because he did

      Only the good feel guilty.

      Only the good die young.

      Only the good live forever (out side of time).

      Smile, be happy, no hell can out last a true confession.

      It is a (really bad) tendency of the being who has not completed
Grade III ARC Breaks, free from the upsets of the past and willing to
face the future, to get involved in why finding that leads him down the

      He sees something really bad around him, and he assumes that the
cause of something that is bad must itself also be bad, and thus he
tries to find a cause for bad things of comparable magnitude in badness
to the bad things he is trying to explain.

      The more bad the cause he imagines, the more bad things he
envisions caused by that bad cause, which then leads him to seek a worse

      That's why we say wonder or doubt is self casting, if you consider
the possibility of a bad cause, you will feel so bad that you will
consider those bad feelings to be evidence for the truth of the bad
cause you are wondering about.

      It's called knowing by emoting.

      Doubting good creates bad experience which then supports the doubt.

      This leads to a kind of feed back loop that breaks his brain if not
his spirit.

      It is hard to consider that this all came from love, that love
would self incarnate as hate and fear, let alone loopy self casting

      If one takes a look around at the physical universe, it is obvious
that it pretty well defines the word 'bad'.

      From the bottom most quark to the top most intelligence, the
physical universe is a game of eat or be eaten.

      It is the game of anti entropy against entropy.

      Ultimate entropy is merely the state of all remaining eatables
being dissipated into a state of uneatability.

      In the physical universe pleasure comes from survival and pain
comes from non survival.

      Survival depends on eating others and not being eaten one's self,
thus there may be some pleasure in the chase, but only if you win.

      The anxiety of the chase itself in this universe, is an acquired
taste, to put it kindly.

      The ultimate pleasure is in winning, and not losing, and that
pleasure lasts only a short time indeed before one must again get into
the race of eat or be eaten.

      Because winning is more important than playing, sportsmanship, and
fair play are a loser's strategy which then leads to preemption, taking
sides against others, and eventually eating those on your own side.

      "Guilt, stupidity, shambles and shame,
      ExCo-operation is the name of the game." - Adore

      Preemption is simply I know you are going to kill me, so I will
kill you first and put you away in the freezer for a time when I need to
eat you.

      Preemption led to the ice box.

      That, in all this, there is any love at all, and caring for others
more than self, is amazing.

      But that love of others only goes so far, and when pressed, the
truth comes out.

      People will eat their own children when hungry.

      Yes parents will give their lives for their children, but only if
there are others to take care of the child.

      If there are no others to take care of the child, well children
can't hunt, sacrificing the parent to allow one more meal for the child,
will result in both child and parent being dead which is end of species.


      The carrier wave of a being is the emotional tone that he brings to
ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, so matter what it is.

      The creature running around and around in a meat grinder, trying to
escape the blades coming at him, runs on a carrier wave of HORROR AND

      Hideous comes from to hide, and eventually he hides even from
himself his sense of horror and lives a life of quiet but deceitful
denial of how he really feels about himself, the universe, God, and the

      Some will say that because something is necessary it therefore is

      That is a major self deceit called making a virtue out of a
horrible necessity.

      Although it changes things to understand that the creature
orchestrated his own life from a creator state, it doesn't make it any
less hard to audit, for the being has come to deny his creatorship, and
in looking for the 'true' creator tries to find one as horrible as the
fruit of that creator's tree, namely the physical universe of eat and be


      Born to die, try to run maws some time, see what comes up.

      What possible motivation could have moved a creator to create a
meat grinder and throw his creatures in to it without their permission?

      Certainly not love as a human understands it.

      Imagine how you would feel about someone throwing a kitten into a
blender or microwave, and you get some inkling of what the creature
feels about the creator.

      Horror sometimes comes up tone to murderous rage, but that's always
out of valence, the being is completely separated from his true self,
and he feels safer that way.

      Better to be in the meat grinder and rage against the coming of the
teeth, er night, than be the being who created the meat grinder and
tossed everyone into it, including possibly himself.


      The being stops being able to cry because its oceanic, not to
mention gives away his location, and thus stops being able to love, and
becomes all absorbed and enmired in hate, no sympathy, cover hostility, propitiation
and eventually becomes preemptively like what he fears most, his

      A creator whose carrier wave is apparently Hideous Joy.

      This sticks him to his body like glue.


      This is the last effort of a being trying to hold onto love and
self respect, and love for little kittens, before he too becomes a
monster, a murderer, and an abomination equal to the nature of the
AllThatIs that for whatever reason seems to seek his demise in pain for
its own alien satisfaction.

      And you are going to audit this being back to well and happy
wiener schnitzel, er, human being?

      The problem is that the being has lost his direct connection with a
wider view of the AllThatIs, that includes himself as creator AND
creature, not just a creature with a creator never seen, but existing
only as a theory freewheeling down the tubes of fear.

      It is very hard for him to accept that God exists, is self
aware, sentient, and loves you.

      Omni Potent, Omni Beneficent, Omni Scient, Omni Present.

      All powerful, All Good, All Knowing, and Everywhere Present.

      A creator who allows the wicked to provoke the innocent into
becoming wicked themselves and then regret it forever more?

      He finds it very hard to accept that Love is a quality of God, who
can do something about it, but doesn't in the name of 'free will'.

      Imagine a parent who allowed one sibling to beat up on another in
the name of free will?

      "Never mind dear, the bad one will go to hell forever when
he dies, so its fine anything he does."

      This is not a FATHER/CHILD RELATIONSHIP, you see?


      Humans are made in their creator's image, right?

      I think not.

      Humans give a damn.

      And *ACT* on it.

      Is that less than Godly behavior?

      Humans love kittens to pieces.

      God loves humans?  And into the meat grinder you go?

      The problem is the view is wrong.

      It is not true that God is Love.

      Love is God.

      Love exists, and happens to be self aware, sentient, self luminous
and can create itself into many different states.

      It is not true that love is a quality of God.

      Godness is a quality of Love.

      You are quite lucky in that regard.

      So its not true that the AllThatIs is God, and God Loves.

      It is true that the Love is the AllThatIs, and Love is God.

      If one believes that God exists and that God loves, one can
question the nature of that love, because it is secondary to the
existence of God.

      But if one believes that Love exists and that Love is God, one
might question the nature of that godness, but one can not question the
nature or existence of that Love.

      If God loves, then God can choose to not love.

      God is still there, but if God chooses not to love, what's left?

      If Love is God, Love can choose to not be God for a while, but Love
can not choose to not Love, because Love is Love, period.

      Even as hate and fear, both are simply enturbulated love.

      The carrier wave of horror is MADE of a sub carrier wave of love,
infinite love.

      If love chooses to not be infinite love for a while, what do
we have left?

      Love that can get pissed off, cry itself to sleep, and die in

      How about a kitten?

      A kitten is a dicom, of love and fear.

      Kittens are the essence of love, although a mouse might have a
different view.

      So we start with human love, just pick a kitten and love it.

      You care for it, you find it beautiful, it brings you joy, and man
do you give a damn about it.

      How would you be if that were the Love of God for you?

      But what of the being that created that kitten and then put it in a
universe where it was bound to end up under the wheel of a car one day?

      Do you know what the sound of a car wheel going over a kitten
sounds like?

      It isn't a sound you want to have in your memory.

      But there is it, along with every other horror and hideousness
imaginable, or not, depending on your level of self deceit and numbness.

      Well if some other being were creator and it made the kitten and
the universe and put the two together, you would have a formula for
philosophical disaster, for such a creator would be a monster at best,
an abomination at worst.

      It's not very far from monster to abomination.

      But if the creator made ITSELF into a kitten and jumped into a
universe of its own making, no matter how bad, it might give you pause
to wonder what the creator's motivations were, but surely straight out
monsterousness would not be it.

      Monsters don't do bad things to THEMSELVES.

      But infinite love might.

      Is love that creates abominations, an abomination if the only
destiny it controls is its own?

      How far is this infinite love willing to go to scare the daylights
out of itself?

      If you consider that this love thing we are talking about is
infinite, eternal, immutable, can not be created, destroyed, lost or
found, except in its own nightmare, you might see that this love thing
might have a willingness level to play with itself more than a
fundamentally fragile creature might.

      In other words the creator might be willing to become a creature
that was not willing to be a creature and not willing to become the
creator again for a while, because look what it did the last time it was
the creator.

      At least not until it recontacted the infinite beauty of being
incarnated in hate and fear, and of being no more in the end no matter
how hard you tried.

      There is surrender at the top of the tone scale, and there is
surrender at the bottom of the tone scale.

      At the bottom the creature is unwilling to be anything and gives up
in apathy.

      At the top the creature is willing to become the creator again,
future creative tendencies be damned.

      The creator doesn't HAVE to engage in nightmares.

      But he will.

      It has to do with the MECHANISM by which the nightmares are created
and results in humor once resolved, the one thing that native state is
missing along with shared self love.

      Humor is also fundamentally ephemeral, the being can't create it or
hold onto it without charging it up first as nightmare, and then blowing
it off as relief.

      Now most creatures are not aware they are creatures, the kitten
probably thinks everything is fine until the day it goes splat, or puts
its little head down in the snow for the last time during a long cold
hard winter.

      But humans, we have a problem, we KNOW we are toast, we know we are
going to die one day whether or not we play the game of eat or be eaten.

      And we are aware of the pain we cause others, even if they are
about to cause pain to us.

      Most are in a state of trying to eat and not eat at the same time,
because it would probably be more honorable to die than to harm others.

      Vegetarians probably feel this way about eating animals, but its a
delusion that plants are not conscious and don't care.  Consciousness,
Love incarnated as life, has nothing to do with having a central nervous

      Simpler forms of life may be spared awareness of their future, but
nothing is spared awareness of its present.

      So there is no preferred place to be in the meat grinder.

      One evolves to higher and higher levels of consciousness, just to
be more aware of one's future fate before it happens.


      Eventually the being can write poetry about it.

      "Love is all we know of heaven, death all we need of hell".

      Emily Dickinson.

      But this is not a well and happy human being, this it not a well
and happy piece of meat in a whirling meat grinder.

      You have to contact and run out the being's carrier
wave of horror and hideousness, until it is flatter than
a one sided pancake.

      "What's so horrible?"
      "Tell me something horrible."
      "Spot NO horror, spot SOME horror."

      This involves all of eat and being eaten, from here to eternity,
overt and motivators, all 5 flows of killing, murder, death and
destruction, and includes all of death and sex which spawned from eat or
be eaten.

      The 5 flows, are others to self, self to others, others to others,
self to self, others to themselves.

      This won't get rid of the carrier wave, but the being will know at
last and at all times that he is riding on it like an endless wave on
the ocean and will do so knowingly without self deceit.

      You run this until the being finally understands he has a problem
with his creator and contacts it.

      It will run as

     "Shouldn't have been created".
     "Should    have been created".

     "Shouldn't have been destroyed".
     "Should    have been destroyed".

      You will get stuck with any creation that shouldn't have been

      You will get stuck with any creation that should be destroyed.

      The opposite of a presence is the absence of that presence, not the
presence of something else.

      The opposite of "To create" is not "To Destroy",

      The opposite of "To Create" is "Not to Create."

      This will run as ANDS:

      To Create  *AND* Not To Create   *AT THE SAME TIME*

      To Destroy *AND* Not to Destroy  *AT THE SAME TIME*

      This kicks the Creature up again to being the Creator becoming the
Creature, because the above conflict is what the Creator created in
itself as Creature.

      Once he is in control of being the Creature again, he's clear.

      Spot the beauty of the pretense of "being no more, forever more."

      Spot the beauty of the pretense that the pretense is not beautiful.

      E/P: willing to eat or be eaten, easy to exteriorize from the game
of meat grinder.

      An remember what you have added to the carrier wave of
horror and hideousness in this universe, and did not confess, nor
repent, is what sticks you to that carrier wave forever more.

      *NOTHING* can outlast a true confession.


Homer Wilson Smith   Clean Air, Clear Water,    Art Matrix - Lightlink
(607) 277-0959       A Green Earth, and Peace,  Internet, Ithaca NY  Is that too much to ask?
Mon Jun  4 16:56:40 EDT 2012