WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

      The answer to the question in the posting below, "What is wrong
with me?" is

      Suppressed care.

      Covered by regretted execration and murderous rage, intending
damnation FOREVER or death FOREVER towards self and others.

      The items that need auditing are:

      INTENT

      CARE

      SUPER OVERTS:

      FOREVER and NEVER (IN TIME!!!!!)

      NO and SOME

      ORS and ANDS

      A super overt is an effort to violate a while by creating a FOREVER
or a NEVER, either positive or negative.

      They are of the form:

      The intent

      to cause self/another/others

      to _______ or NOT _______ FOREVER/NEVER.

      The intent to cause another to suffer FOREVER or not suffer FOREVER

      The intent to cause another to BE FOREVER or NOT BE FOREVER

      The intent to cause another to DO FOREVER or NOT DO FOREVER

      The intent to cause another to HAVE FOREVER or NOT HAVE FOREVER

      The intent to destroy FOREVER anothers will to die.

      The intent to destroy FOREVER anothers will to live.

      The intent to BE with someone FOREVER/NEVER

      If you have ever had an idea and didn't run NO and SOME on it for a
few commands, you have bypassed charge on it, passed it by.

      ANDS are designed to drive people crazy after they are sunk.

      The intent to cause another to suffer forever AND not suffer
forever at the same time.

      Get the preclear to contact his eternal rage, and his intent to
damn or destroy forever.  Each overt needs to be listed worded properly
and run out.

      You will find your preclear is also involved in an internal co
murder with BTs and clusters.

      He is engaging in the intent to destroy the will to BE in both
clusters and himself at the same time.  It's a kind of kamikaze going on
in the back of his brain.  There may be two going on at the same time,
one on the left and one on the right side of the brain.

      CARE

      Start with the 8 dynamics:

      8.) The infinite (Creator)
      7.) Spirits
      6.) MEST       (Planet, Solar System, rest of universe)
      5.) Life forms (Plants/Animals)
      4.) Humanity
      3.) Groups (Career/Country/Others)
      2.) Family
      1.) Self

      Self is the thetan without a body.

      Having and taking care of a body puts one on the 5th dynamic, as a
human animal body, and also specifically in a family, even if all other
family members of dead, a body is at least a family of one.

      A lone body is a dead man walking unless he can find reason to BE
on the higher dynamics.

      Each dynamic will provide its own reason to BE, although they will
be interdependent.

      For example he may find nothing of interest in MEST, until he finds
he loves Big Cats on the 5th, then all of a sudden he's alive again on clean
air, and clear water which is MEST.

      Start at the top dynamic:

      Run each to a flat point, note all overts and cogs.  We are not
particularly interested in upsets, ARC breaks or motivators, we want to
know what he loves, who or what opposed him, and what he did that sunk
him FOREVER, NEVER to return.

      Get the idea of NO Creator.
      Get the idea of SOME Creator.

      Get the idea of NO Spirit
      Get the idea of SOME Spirit

      Run MEST individually.

      Get the idea of NO Space.      These two are really big and
      Get the idea of SOME Space.    really important.

      Get the idea of NO Time.
      Get the idea of SOME Time.

      Get the idea of NO Mass
      Get the idea of SOME Mass

      Get the idea of NO Energy
      Get the idea of SOME Energy

      Get the idea of NO Force
      Get the idea of SOME Force

      Get the idea of NO Earth
      Get the idea of SOME Earth

      Get the idea of NO Sun
      Get the idea of SOME Sun

      Get the idea of NO universe
      Get the idea of SOME universe

      On the 5.) dynamic split it up into plant and animal.

      Get the idea of NO Plants.
      Get the idea of SOME Plants

      Get the idea of NO Animals
      Get the idea of SOME Animals

      On the 4th:

      Get the idea of NO Humanity
      Get the idea of SOME Humanity

      ON the 3rd, break it up into Career, Country, and other groups.

      Get the idea of NO Career
      Get the idea of SOME Career

      Get the idea of NO Groups
      Get the idea of SOME Groups

      On the second, break it up into ancestors, grandparents, parents,
brothers and sisters, self, mates, children and grandchildren and
relatives.  He should see that 'blood line' is a matrix web.

      Get the idea of NO Family
      Get the idea of SOME Family

      On the first, run the thetan who is spirit incarnating in MEST

      Get the idea of NO Self
      Get the idea of SOME Self.

      Then run CARE on each of the above dynamics.

      The idea here is to run

      "What do you care NOT about on ______?"
      "What do you care SOME about on ______?"

      without asking listing questions.

      We also want both sides of the NO CARE and SOME CARE coin.

      Get the idea of NO CARE on the Creator
      Get the idea of SOME CARE on the Creator.

      This will lead after a long run perhaps across many days to his
basic purposes on each dynamic, namely those things that make it worth
BEING, DOING and HAVING for a while, namely what gets him up in the morning.

      What does he care about?

      NO CARE = NO ACTION.


      At first he will say nothing, that's fine, it's not true, run down
the dynamics over and over until he starts to find items and flesh them
out, and what happened if its available.

      As he finds deep care items on each dynamic, sorrow and murderous
rage and damnation will flow off at himself, and who or what he
considers stopped him.

      He is basically stuck in cemented seething self hatred, guilt and
fear.

      He doesn't know who or what to strike out at any more, and as he
strikes out at himself, he looses his ability to strike out at anything
at all.

      Homer

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Wilson Smith   Clean Air, Clear Water,    Art Matrix - Lightlink
(607) 277-0959       A Green Earth, and Peace,  Internet, Ithaca NY
homer@lightlink.com  Is that too much to ask?   http://www.lightlink.com

On Sun, 1 Jul 2012, homer@lightlink.com wrote:

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>
>> Homer does make case gain, if that's who you are talking about.
>
>     I do?
>
>     Now Alan, this is not a criticism, nor a personal attack, just
> the Facts Jack, ok?  Please don't get red in the face, please don't
> get angry, please remain my friend, ok?
>
>     Actually Alan's write up about L&N makes me sad.
>
>     For one it is a "Need help" writeup, there is no hope the pc can
> do it for himself.
>
>     Secondly it posits thousands of out-lists, endless complexity
> etc, making the pc feel it is going to take thousands of hours and
> endless amounts of dollars etc to get all this handled.
>
>     Thirdly it doesn't indicate, which makes the first two grate
> even worse.
>
>     It produces a No Hope and No Peace reaction in me.
>
>     Here is my analysis.
>
>     In the first place the Question is
>
>     "What's this THING in my body?"  or
>
>     "What's this all about?" or
>
>     "What's going on here?"
>
>     The answer changes as each layer comes off, I hope for a last
> answer, but so far haven't found one.
>
>     But more importantly, the QUESTION is more important than the
> ANSWER, and perhaps that is the answer to "What is wrong with me?"
>
>     Answer: I am trying to find the answer to the question, rather
> than as-is the question.
>
>     Most pcs can't imagine asking a question without trying to get
> the answer.  They can't see the EFFORT to ask the question, because
> they are too busy straining to find the ANSWER.
>
>     It is quite an accomplishment to be able to finally ask a question,
> without trying to get the answer at all.  One does this to observe
> the efforts involved in the question.
>
>     One way to practice this is to ask a question which you know
> the answer to and see if you can ask it without having the answer
> come forward, like "What is my name?"
>
>     Then one sees that the efforts to ask the question are more
> damaging in terms of ridges and impacted masses, than not knowing the
> answer is.
>
>     Answers cool out questions, because the pc stops asking the question,
> not because the answer is right!  Wrong answers can also cause more
> questions which then leads to endless cave in.
>
>     This is possibly why the Zen Master give a Koan to their
> preclears, it is an unanswerable question.  The intent is to get the
> pc asking questions that guarantee there is no answer to look at, so
> that finally the pc looks as the process of asking itself without
> answering and starts to blow charge.
>
>     Thus "What question are you asking" is itself a question
> although it has many answers, but I would think that the
> handling would NOT be to then get the 'correct' answer to any of those
> questions, but to run something that would run out the asking of all
> those questions which the pc lists.
>
>     This takes an awful lot of confront of NOT KNOW, the pc has to be
> willing to HAVE not knowing the answer to all these questions, but he
> will cool out the restim on his masses significantly if he can do so.
>
>     Questions like Why am I here?, Who am I?  What am I supposed to
> be doing?, What's my purpose?, When did I come in?, How do I get out?
> All the basic Who, How, What, Where and Why's that drive the pc mad
> through the trillenia.
>
>     Adore would have you spot the question and then ask it WITHOUT
> ANSWERING IT, until the charge is off.
>
>     "The caliber of the caliper of souls is
>
>      The Questions they have asked, and
>      The Answers they have rejected."
>
>      Ultimately native state has no answers, in this sense ALL
> answers to questions are false and are out items.
>
>     Thus auditing the asking of questions, instead of the answering
> of questions, might lead to more fruitful results and bypass the need
> for all the 'powerful' complexity that makes other people necessary in the
> game of case gain.
>
>     Perhaps we could call this the OT Q&A rundown, as LRH said the
> only aberration there is waiting for an answer.  Adore says the only
> aberration there is is LOOKING FOR AN ANSWER BY BEING AN EFFECT,
> but its the same thing.  This is because the true answer to the
> question is the exact duplication of the question and its implied
> not know, at which point the not know blows and the prior know
> arises.  This is not an effort thing to learn by looking, this is
> at worst an effort thing to duplicate the not know on the prior know.
>
>     Alan's message comes across to me as people can not help
> themselves until they have been helped by others at great expense.
>
>     Adore's message is you can help yourself if you would simply
> observe yourself asking how.
>
>     The logic behind this is simple, when the unwanted condition was
> originally created, there was no question going on in the background
> asking "how do I get rid of this, where do I get help for this etc?
>
>     One get's rid of the condition by making it again, by exactly
> duplicating the original efforts to create it, thus if you are asking
> "What is this?  How do I get rid of it?  Who is going to help me?
> When it is going to happen?  Why am I suffering from it?" you aren't
> duplicating the efforts at the moment of creation of the condition
> because those questions were not going on at the time.
>
>     On the other hand, if there were questions going on at the time
> of the original creation, and the efforts of those questions are still
> being asked consciously or unconsciously in present time, then that
> question asking alone will keep the incident in full bloom.
>
>     Adore says that questions stick us to incidents, nothing else.
>
>     Thus the way to run the incident is not to ask "How do I run
> this incident?" but to run the question you were asking in the
> incident!
>
>     Notice that the incident question is NOT "What question was I
> asking in the incident?"
>
>     Asking "What question was I asking in the incident?" is
> self auditing.  This is the figure-figure LRH talked about.
>
>     Running the asking of the question in the incident, particularly
> its efforts and ridges of failure, whether or not you know what that
> question is, is solo auditing.  This is in fact very effective effort
> processing.
>
>     Adore says that this effort processing gets at the postulate in
> the incident because ultimately all postulates relate to being unable to
> know and answer the damn question!
>
>     Thus spotting the extant questions in present time, NOT TO ANSWER
> THEM BUT TO COOL THE ASKING, will go a long ways to bringing the
> original incident to the forground and allow you to run the rest of it
> out.
>
>     LRH says the pc is trying to solve problems in the present by
> using efforts he used against problems in the past.  If what Adore
> says is true, the basic problem is an unanswerable question, thus the
> efforts the pc is using to answer present time questions he knows he
> is asking, will be the same efforts he used on the past track
> questions in the incidents that are holding him down.
>
>     Since the past track efforts do not properly match his present
> time questions, he will be both failing to answer his present time
> questions AND restimulating his past track overwhelms.
>
>     Freedom from overwhelm is also freedom from overwhelm about
> asking and answering questions.
>
>      This listing out and running the present time questions, AS QUESTIONS
> NOT AS ANSWERS, will lead to the past track incidents and questions wherein
> the pc first got entangled in misduplication of the know - not know
> cycle and learning by looking at effects in order to know about cause,
> (violations of the proof).
>
>     Misconsturing a know - not know cycle as a not know - know cycle
> is a serious alter-is and might be the genesis of seriousness.  If so,
> then it is the seed of the joke.
>
>     Adore goes so far as to DEFINE an incident as a run in with a
> question.  As the alter-is of know - not know takes place, the
> question (not know) becomes an effort to learn by looking with no
> responsibility for the not know.  Thus rather than duplicate
> the not know thus blowing it off, the pc gets into learning by looking.
>
>     Thus every incident on the mental plane is a violation of the
> know - not know sequence by trying to indulge in answering a question
> which is a not know - know sequence, and on the spiritual plane its a
> violation of total responsibility.
>
>     The point is that the not know itself is created with postulate
> and effort, so the way to erase that and know again is to duplicate
> the effort to not know and the postulate, NOT indulge in MORE effort
> to learn by looking which is a violation of The Proof.
>
>     It is the effort to learn by looking, to learn by being an
> effect, to learn about cause by looking at effects, that pulls in all
> sorts of stuff that you have assigned as cause that might teach you
> what it is you want to know.
>
>     Learning and Teaching are dicoms.
>
>     If a cause has no effects on you, there is no way to learn
> anything about it as a cause, nor have it teach you anything about it
> as a cause, because all learning and teaching about cause takes place
> via the effects that the cause has on you.
>
>     Since you are now trying to learn about cause by looking at
> effects of that cause, you must become the effect of those causes,
> and so of course you get impinged upon all over the place.
>
>     This is justice working.
>
>     If you say "I must know about cause, the only way to know about
> cause is to look at its effects on me" then you shouldn't complain
> when you find yourself the effect of those causes, eh?
>
>     Saving knowledge (knowledge that saves) does not reside in any
> created thing, as salvation is salvation FROM all created things.
>
>     Learning by looking is what LRH called ransacking facsimiles,
> although that falls short of the scope of what we are talking about
> here, as beings will ransack all of creation, every other cause he can
> think of in fact, to find what they are looking for, which ain't out
> there anyhow.
>
>     Adore says one can know anything by not knowing some more.
> Asking questions is not the way to do that.
>
>     Alan's message has a very negative effect on me and is very
> disheartening, because it appears to me he is trying to sell other
> determinism as my salvation, namely him or any other good auditor,
> with the implication that if only I had done it right by coming to him
> in the first place before I struck out on my own, which I surely
> should have known better than to do, I would be ok by now.
>
>      I don't think Alan is capable of duplicating how much this
> stance grates on me.
>
>      It in fact violates every principle I stand by.
>
>      Remember it is not the message of help that grates on me,
> it is the apparent message of *NEED* beyond my willingness to need,
> help.
>
>     If instead of saying
>
>     "Homer come to me and we will list all those questions you have
> been asking and find the correct answer to all them which you in your
> grand role as Supreme Dodo were not able to do, and you will be all better."
>
>     he said,
>
>     "Homer shut the fuck up, get on a meter or whatever, and list
> out all the questions you are asking, and run the asking of them
> without any effort to actually find the answer until you hit a blow
> out of peace."
>
>     I would have felt much better about it.
>
>     But what do I know.  I am not an Emperor nor an Ambassador, just
> a Joker in the King's Court.
>
>      Homer
>
> ================ http://www.clearing.org ====================
> Sun Jul  1 03:06:02 EDT 2012
> ftp://ftp.lightlink.com/pub/archive/homer/hom5.memo
> Send mail to archive@lightlink.com saying help
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