The reason that getting better is so hard, is because the moment
one starts on that path one runs into a wall of almost infinite
hideosities that are almost infinitely hard to stomach from the human

     One runs into the infinite Anti-God, before one runs into God.

     God turns out to be us, and thus so must the anti-God, and so must
we be both the source and sufferer of hideous joy and divine joy.

     Every person alive is fighting something that he CAN NOT take
responsibility for and wouldn't PUT IT THERE TO FIGHT if he could.

     With most of existence arrayed against him, he can't stop
dramatizing for a second either.

     Drama means must fight.

     Drama means seriousness, importance, permanent loss, and pain.

     All of life is dog eat dog, getting pleasure by causing pain to

     Gaining by causing others to lose.

     Having by causing others to not have.

     Life lives by causing death.

     Either you eat life or life eats you.

     Note that insanity is eating your friends or teammates.

     Eat your enemies for maximum rush.

     Even then you may feel good with a full tummy and the bones of your
conquests laid around your neck, but its tainted by your sense of
abomination about the game and having to play it.

     The difference between an awake GodSoul in carnation and a run of
the mill humanoid meatball, is the GodSoul can admit his true feelings
about life, and the meatball can't.

     Thus the GodSoul has something to audit, the meatball doesn't.

     The meatball is a 'What problem?' case.

     Life then becomes making a virtue out of horrible necessity.

     And that is the smiling facade of the social zombie zone you feel
and see around you.

     Thus each being needs to wake up, but the lucid state is a
whirlwind of adoration and abomination.  
     That's from the human point of view, it looks different looking
down from above the clouds.

     A King can wield the two edged sword of Excalibur, of adoration and
abomination, with aplomb.

     A very good solo process to throw you into the whirl wind is as


     "Get the idea of NOT being completely well."
     "Get the idea of     being completely well."

     Define well as no more unwanted conditions on any dynamic, for self
or others or the universe at large, unless they are wanted AS unwanted

     This includes the ability to help others attain the same state, and
getting them to help you in return.

     "What would have to change or be different for you to be completely

     Write down everything that comes to mind, get it all laid out.

     Put down all the overwhelms on the left, put down all the other
overwhelms on the right.

     Notice the impossibles, the incredibles, the unconfrontables, the
ludicrosities, the preposterousnesses, the unconsolable self casting
doubts, the no confidences in self, and the lack of permissions.

     The solution to the problem is the problem.  - LRH

     That little piece of idiocy is the greatest wisdom ever written.

     It means the being no longer knows what the problem is, he is 100
percent tied up fighting wall to wall lesser realities.

     His real problem is an unreality that only a GodSoul could have on
his own condition, and yet he is fighting realities.

     What a waste of time.

     The real problem and its enormity has been missed since day one.

     He knows there is a problem but still thinks it's meaningful to get
pissed off about it or feel guilty.

     Oh no.

     Once he sees the enormity of what he is upset about, two opposing
almost infinite forces, both of which are his own, he will chill out and
confront the problem with respect, dignity, honor, equanimity, and
smooth flowing power.

     We call that 'High Appreciation for Ludicrous Demise.' -Adore

     He will have found a worthwhile opponent, himself.

     No anger or guilt here, just divinity playing with it self in the
battle field of the cosmos.

     Then the problem and its concerns will start to come apart on its

     Might take a little faith for a few seconds while looking it over,
all those dead bodies and sad eyes...  :)

     God postulates have a time persistence built into them before they
start to come apart under scrutiny.

     So just the tiniest dab of faith will do you during that
time-to-live of the hideous joy as it decides to give up the ghost.

     Bliss is laughter followed by unimpingable peace.

     Humor is the result of having one's expectations exceeded by
surprise and delight.
     But its followed by home, home that has no problem with itself or
its basic nature no matter what it might wrought.

     That's because no matter what is wrought, wroughting it again makes
it vanish.

     Remember perfect duplicates?

     At some point your preclear has to learn how to operate that with

     That would be an OT, and Operating Thetan.