Had a really good session this morning, Ta 6.5 -> 4.5

      I seem to be not talking about some murder or another in this life
perhaps, one that may not even have happened yet.

      "Murders to be..."

      It just gets weirder and weirder.  I follow the meter and the
physical releases, which is all I care about.  Probably most of it
entity charge, but mother was always trying to kill father, and there is
the question of how my mother really died, and I was wishing death and
damnation off on both of them from early on.

      Then there is the alien/CIA/NSA PDH chain, sometimes I wonder if I
am not waiting for my manchurian candidate signal to set me in motion :)

      Anyhow, I want the movie rights.

      The basic injustice on the child hood Service Fac chain seems to be
enforced and inhibited ARC, mostly communication.  Kid isn't allowed to
talk about something, ask a question, express an answer or opinion or
emotion etc, or is enforced to communicate.  Forced/prohibited work,
play, sleep, eating, study etc also come into it, but basically its a
saying or not saying about the whole thing.

      He pulls in the service fac in order to deal with this.

      Thus auditing 'something you are not talking about', and 'something
you are talking about' runs with lots of energy.

      There is would, could, should and must talk, and wouldn't,
couldn't, shouldn't and mustn't talk.

      Lots of trying to talk and not talk at the same time.

      That's called an AND.

      That's not an indecision about whether to talk or not talk,
that's called an OR.

      An AND is a DECISION to BOTH Talk AND not talk at the same time.

      Doubts, wonders, mysteries, questions, and ANDS galore.

      Parenticide, nosympathy/sympathy seething away inside.

      Basic on stuttering, rotting teeth, sinusitis headaches etc.

      Also "what would you utterly and absolutely never be?"

      A 'hitman' comes to mind :)

      All this scientist, philsopher, musician shit is just a cover for
what I really want to be doing in life...

      I am getting work cycles done, being a good little wood chopper...

Tue Aug 15 16:49:10 EDT 2017