anonymous@electra.lightlink.com wrote:
>I do NOT think you are "clear."  I have NEVER met anyone in or out of
>borgdom who meets the many definitions of "clear" bandied about by the
>cult.  I have never met a "clear" or "OT" whose case level was even up to
>death.  RON was down in CRIMINALITY and MUST BE CONTRIBUTED TO, and
>everyone else was LOOKING UP to him.  The concept of clear is a FRAUDULENT
>LIE, and functions as a WRONG ITEM to send you into listing error frenzy,
>and spend megabucks on subsequent "handling."  Forget about clear.
>Consider tone level.

     Half of that indicates to me, and the other half says, wait I
*KNOW* clear exists...

     There is a definition of clear wandering around that at least
makes sense to me.  Basically it is, no longer *REACTS* uncontrollably
to the force and pain of restimulation of the reactive mind.

     Clear:  Restimulation -> Choice -> Dramatization
 
     Non Clear: Restimulation -> Dramatization
 
     Non clears, when something turns on, react instantly to it, they
have abdicated their choice in the matter.  Its not that they
have no choice, its that there is no moment of space time in there
in which to insert the possibility of choice.

     Their time track also responds instantly to the auditor's
commands and not their own.  Thus they can not solo but need dual, and
CAN dual.

     Clears have been able to put a moment of choice between
restimulation and reaction, they may still react, but they know they
are, and they CAN not react if they have a reason not to.  Their time
tracks no longer respond at all to the auditor's command,s they have
to MAKE it do it, if they are of a mind, and they can solo, and often
CAN'T dual, or when they are dualing, they are actually soloing along
with the dual.

     Now you all know I have this *THING* in my body, like the alien
creature that crawled out of the guys chest and scurried across the
floor in Aliens 1.

     Probably just me twisting my brain into a pretzel, but its bad
none the less, absolutely mind destroying terrifying actually.

     Many years ago, I was working with this thing in my room one day,
oh back in 1974 or so, and it was just getting worse and worse and
worse, and I was getting more and more frustrated, the body was
beginning to lose its temper, and all of a sudden this huge fountain
of or really dark destructive painful anger start to well up in me, I
was really ready to dramatize all over the place and be as destructive
as I could be.

     Instead I did nothing, I just stood there still, essentially made
the decision to let the thing in my body hurt me as much as it wanted
to without a single protest or erg of resistence out of me.

     In a flash, WHAM! the whole room, my anger, my consciousness, turned
into total delicious glorious beauty.  *WAY* beyond any acid I had
ever done.

     'Delicious Anger' was the phrase I later used to describe it, or
Classy Anger.  The pain just went out of it, all that was left was
pure unadorned gorgeous pleasure.  I was still angry but it was pure
joy, and the Gold Light all around me and beginings of Christ
Conscoiusness were just too beautiful to behold for long.

     Kind of left me in Aghast at how much beauty there can be in one
conscious mind.

     Never been able to replicate that experience, although I still
use 'let it hurt me as much as it wants to' when things get
intractable.

     But its an example of the choice to not react, not draamtize, not
go out of valence and dramatize permanent destruction.

     So perhaps that is a state of clear under this definition.  It
doesn't mean the reactive mind is gone, it doesn't even really mean I
know I am mocking it up, because Lord Save me *NOTHING* I know of
under sun, moon and stars, not all the beings in the world, not all
the hosts in heaven, not all the Gods in eternity, could mockup this
son of a bitch from hell, let alone me, but it does mean that a moment
of conscious choice has been reinserted between the moment of
restimulation and the moment of dramatization.

     If such a moment slips away from me or gets the better of me, I
can catch it after the dramatization, and then re run the moment of
restim -> xxx -> dramatization over and over until I RE INSERT that
moment of choice in place, so that that particular sequence won't
happen out of my control again.  I may still dramatize it again, but
it will be choice rather than having it slip out of my control.

     This is in part why I dramatize so much, trying to keep it in
practice so the pressue doesn't build up to a point where I *HAVE* to
dramatize.  My body and my life are a boiling kettle with the lid
locked on tight, and every unimaginable thing trying to crawl out from
under it, should I let it off for even a moment.

     Homer